We have this rule in our house. It started as the kids became more independent and wondered off on their own. I don't mind what's going on but you tell me where you are, who you're with and what time you'll be home. Probably about age 16 was the beginning of this rule. Owed much to the Sydney Olympics when my then 16 year old wanted to taste the city. It was safe, well lit, lots of people, public transport all night, loads of security so she was allowed do do things that would have been taboo under normal circumstances. She went to events, watched live sites and stayed out late.
But now, I'm the parent of a 20 and 22 year old and as long as they live in my house, it's my rules. I still want to know where they are, who they're with and what time they'll be home. I now find myself getting more and more paranoid if they don't check in. Both are pretty good and report if they're staying at a mates place or have changed plans but every now and then, their guard slips and so here I am blogging, wondering where the hell my daughter is. I know she left work early and had a doctor's appointment at 6.00pm. But it's now 9.00 and her phone's on message bank. No biggie. She's probably gone to the gym and took a 7:30 class which means an 8:30 finish and might have done some weights or an aerobic class afterwards but I'm sitting here, dinner at the ready fretting about where she is and what she's doing and it's barely 9.00! I hear so many parents say they can't wait for their kids to leave home, mainly because they're layabouts or messy or don't contribute. I love having my kids at home, they're my best friends and I can't say that about either of mine. They pay board, they contribute to the chores and they're great company but . . . if they didn't live at home, I wouldn't worry so much when they didn't report in. Maybe I would. Perhaps I'm going to be one of those unbearable mothers "You didn't ring me this week . . " Ok time for another msg to see where she is . . . my apron strings are stretching but not yet broken.
I think my mom and I have always gotten along pretty well - aside from some bumps and scrapes in the teenage years - but we're much closer now that we don't live together. She no longer feels the need (or ability) to parent me, which has let her relax and enjoy interactions on their own without being as worried about my whereabouts in between.
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