Doggy Doos and Don'ts

Grandad has solved his dog poo problem by thrashing it over the neighbour's extension with a 7 iron. I on the other hand have a problem. We live on five acres of parkland, wooded and pretty wild but one of our three hairy legged friends either passes last night's meal on a tiny square of green where we like to sit and chat in the evening or on a sunny day. Alternatively, she will leave her not so little little posit on a paved pathway or more recently, soujourns to the neighbour's much more manicured lawn, arches the back and lays a cable bang slap in the middle.

There are rules here about dogs who foul public places. In the morning, I walk my pooch (well when it's light at 6.00am) but we are forced to walk around the lake with a little plastic bag or pooper scooper as leaving the offending deposit attracts quite a healthy fine. However, indescretions on private property are much less policed. ThePrincess is discreet and poo's on the mulch distant from the house and no real threat to those who wish to languish in the garden keeping them safe from being bombarded by a fetid odour or having the sticky resin adhere to their shoes. Nelson does his 'rounds' in the morning, I've watched him case the perimeter, pop across the road, make his presence known with several brown slugs then return home. But Keira . . . she's the one that will foul just about any public thoroughfare and do it in broad daylight she is not a discriminating bitch by any standards. Our neighbour has already complained about her deliberate banking methods each morning and has requested that she make her deposits elsewhere. I'm sick of picking up the building site refuse that she also retrieves early in the morning and damn frustrated with the piles of poop that litter my little green area.

We've tried the coke bottles filled with water, "Get off My Garden" repellant, yells of "Bah!" whenever she's caught in the act . . . all to no avail. So if you have a workable solution to repel our rebellious doggy from doing her doos on thoroughfares, please let me know.