Friday Fuckwit

No not him!

Because it's been puppies and sunshine, 'awwws' and hugs, happiness, sweetness and light this week with the exception of TMAPITW . . . today's Friday Fuckwit/s are the new mean-spirited, Macdonaldsesque copyright owners of the Thomas the Tank Engine enterprise!

The popular tourist railway "Friends of Thomas the Tank Engine" has been ordered by the multinational owners of the Thomas the Tank Engine copyright to stop using the name and 'dressing' up their locomotives with Thomas like faces. "Boooo - Hisssss"

Victorian Goldfields Railway has even been bullied by the British-based guardians of Thomas into dropping the yellow waistcoat, top hat and tails worn by their own version of the Fat Controller.

"They won't even let us be Friends of Thomas - but the children all knew they weren't the real Thomas the Tank Engines, so they're disappointed," VGR official Garry Aitchison said.

The non-profit VGR has been running school holiday Friends of Thomas trips between Maldon and Castlemaine for five years. It did so with full approval of the Thomas franchise, even naming the trains Jacob and Jeremy for the J-class locos and Kevin for the K-class.

Until yesterday's holiday trip, they had also put faces on the front of the locos, and another face on the a diesel rail motor - a DRM they naturally called Daphne. Mr Aitchison said he felt sad for the children when he removed Jacob's face this week. (now all go "awwwww . . .") Imagine the little children watching Jacob having his face removed like some twisted version of "Face Off"! Horrific, mentally scarring, deeply disturbing!

"The new copyright owners have changed the rules worldwide, and the trains now have to be exact replicas of Thomas," he said. "We've even had disappointed grandmas who can't see we were doing anyone any harm by being Friends of Thomas." Disappointed Grandmas! Ye Gads! Gadzooks! That's horrible! Who'd disappoint a Grandma in their right mind . . there will be bastions of brolly wielding blue rinses, hurling boiled fruit cakes on the gold fields tomorrow!

But Mr Aitchison said the Goldfields Railway would maintain its head of steam.

Now never mind walking the streets of Sydney in your rainbow sashes, handing out condoms to the papist hoards (who have been spotted in their thousands - you can pick them because they're all clean shaven and dragging wheely suitcases down George Street!) , here's a real issue worth fighting for! As a protest, I breach copyright and bring you . . . ta-daaaaaa . . .Thomas and Friends . . . .I always thought he was a bit scary frankly!