Terms of Endearment

I don't know when I started this silly 'pet name' thing. Clearly as I approached the age of Grannydom. Australians are famous for their nicknames and we shorten or lengthen or create something completely out of the blue rather than call someone by their correct name. Clare is Clarence, ClareBear, Baino (which causes confusion for obvious reasons) Adam is AB, Ads, Chicken Lips et al. I'm Baino, Nell, Nellie, Hells, Bubbles, Elephant Brains and Ma! Stressany is constantly called the 'Buzzard' or 'Dahlsey' by BabyBro in a totallly tongue in cheek fashion, who alternatively is known as Dunny, Poider or Baldy. Babysis and ThePlummer are for God's sake, Doo Doo, Gockle, Twon and Twonneth (yes she's mad). Hannah is Hannahbanana of course or Winky. Rebecca is RED or Becs. James seems to have escaped lightly with Jimmy. Even my dear departed was known as Choo-Choo . . a derivative of that great Mexican golfer Chi-Chi Rodruguez. My best friends refer to each other as "Bogth" - dunno where that came from either!

When my nephew Jack was little, he was convinced that his Grandad's name was "Darls" thanks to my mother-in-law constantly referring to Spunky Art as "Darls". At 15 he still refers to his Grandad as 'Darls'. That word too has now crept into my vocabulary, largely as a joke but I use it more often than I should and for some reason "Shugga" is dropping in thre as well. Go fizzle ma shizzle!

Silly names are exacerbated by a particular someone I correspond with who calls me a barrage of weird names, and I him. We've run through the Fior, Sweet Prince, Baby Blue, Pookie, Princess, Poppet, Petal, Helen of Sydney (and or Troy) and the various Chicken nom de plumes and on to Schnooks.

I'm a chronic user of "Darling" and "Sweetheart" to pretty much anyone younger than me or in my family. It can be a great patronising cut-down if enunciated correctly "Surely you don't believe that rubbish d-a-h-l-i-n-g" but I usually mean it in an affectionate tone. Sweetie is a fave when talking to young girls but not in a patronising way. DrummerBoy and the Fringelet are a 'honey' couple. (God it sounds odd hearing your progeny use terms of endearment)

Further odd names are of course perpetuated through blogging by trying to retain the anonymity of those who wish to remain anonymous such as Struth Ruth, TheBenchwarmer, Crispy and the like.

Apparently it's socially acceptable for 'older' people to refer to their juniors with pet names but not in reverse. Must admit I don't take to kindly to young shop assistants calling me 'Dear' or 'Love' or Darlin'I might make an exception for JD who has a 'Darlin' problem but then he's from South Carolina and also calls me M'aam. (which makes me feel strangely superior and powerful)

Even genitalia is not immune to embarrassing pet names such Wissy and Po-po , pee-pee, diddles and doodoos (you work out which is which)

I've never been one for babyish lovey-dovey kinda names other than extremely tongue in cheek or unless it involves animals "Who's a bewfulls, schnookie pookie puppy den". Clearly this is directed towards Lily, The Princess or bloodydog. (even she has nicknames)

I can't imagine anyone thinking of me as a 'Tweet squishy hottie buns' as this little generator seems to think! Although I'm quite fond of my Facebook Stripper name "Ashley Sugarlick" Frankly I don't care what you call me as long as you don't make love with your socks on!

Pet names? Nicknames? Terms of endearment? Got any apart from the obvious?(I know that despite his mother's unusual choice of name, Thrifty is not his real name and Quickroute isn't alluding to a moment of spontaneous and speedy sexual activity.

What 's your nickname and how do you refer to your particular Love Chunks! (your partner, not your bits!). C'mon now . . . spill . .