Friday Fuckwit and A Dinner to Die For

Yeah the biatch is back! The glass is half full . . .so catch-up time for international stupidity. Three to choose from, now you leave your vote. (If I was clever I'd do one of those poll thingies)

Tattoos See Belgian Teenager Seeing Stars
A Belgian teenager has told police how she emerged from a tattoo parlour with 56 stars over one side of her face rather than the three she had asked for, prosecutors have said.


"I said this part, the top, is OK, but not the rest," Kimberley Vlaeminck, from the city of Kortrijk, north-west of Brussels, said. The 18-year-old said she fell asleep during the procedure and woke up in pain when her nose was being tattooed. Now parents . .are we falling for that one?

A spokesman for Kortrijk prosecutors' office said police were investigating after a complaint from the teenager. The tattoo artist said Ms Vlaeminck had agreed to 56 stars.

"She agreed, but when her father saw it the trouble started," Ah now we're getting to it. I'll bet! I'd have whooped her from her to next Friday! Ms Vlaeminck said she wanted to keep the tattoos on her forehead but would have the rest removed.

Am I the only person wondering how you can fall asleep while someone tattoos 56 stars on the side of your face?


Woman Loses $1,000,000 in Mattress

An Israeli woman has mistakenly thrown out a mattress she claims has more than $1 million hidden inside. The woman says she bought a new mattress on Monday and threw out the old one. The next day she remembered she had hidden her life savings inside the old mattress. Now I have the odd 'where are my shoes' moment but I'm pretty sure I'd remember a gazillion under the mattress!

She began a frantic search but rubbish collectors had already taken it. Searches at three separate dumps turned up nothing. Oh, now that's a surprise! Lucky Garbos.

The dump manager confirms she was desperate and his staff were helping her to rummage through the dump (I'll bet!), but said with 2,500 tonnes of rubbish arriving every day, the mattress would be impossible to find. Because dear readers . . I reckon it's been buldozed, exploded and the kish has floated like feathers on the ether. There's probably more than one very happy dump scrounger planning a helluva bar mitzvah!



Young Liberals Use Sex to Attract Subscriptions (aww c'mon they need something!)

Now out here, the 'liberals' are the conservatives - slightly right of centre. The 'labour' party the socialists ever so slightly left of centre - although the difference between them is almost indiscernible.

A Liberal Party student activist is under fire for using pictures of scantily-clad Young Liberal ‘babes’ on his blog in an effort to boost conservative support.

Former head of the Liberal Students’ Federation Tim Andrews posted the photos on his blog to support the ‘Babe Theory of Politics’. The pictures show dozens of young women who belong to uni Liberal Clubs across the country. Some are in bikinis, one is wearing suspenders and several are lying suggestively on a bed. Good taste prevents me from displaying them here!

The ‘Babe Theory of Politics’, according to Andrews, posits that if a political or social movement has ‘hot babes’, men will show up in droves. Well the kid has a point. Sex does sell but these chicks are not to my mind 'that hot'. “Here in Australia the fiscal vandalism of the Rudd Government is unparalleled in our history. Things seem bleak indeed,” he writes. “However – there is reason for hope! For optimism! Definite proof that here in Australia we shall triumph!

“How do I know this? Easy – the Babe Theory Of Politics. To put it simply – we have all the hot girls.” But NSW Liberal MP and former Federal Sex Discrimination Commissioner Pru Goward is unimpressed by Andrews’s efforts.

"I'm disappointed that he's misjudged the importance of a political party like ours that for so long has defended the dignity of men and women," she said. "We do need to recruit young people...and I commend Tim for having a go, but I think that we have to remember that people join political parties because of the facts, not the figures." Tell 'er she's dreamin'


And last but not least . . .

Some Friday Fucking Fantastic news! I have a contract . .yay . .4-6 weeks work with a possibility of extension and interesting stuff at that.

To celebrate, my daughter, motivated by Master Chef (we're addicted) and not the best cook in the world, made this for dinner last night . .trust me, this is a big breakthrough and tasted awesome:

Smoked Salmon parcels filled with chili crab and bell pepper mayonnaise,
with citrus chilli vinegrette and baby leaf salad!
Tadaaaaa!
Thank you Master Chef! Thank you Clare, it tasted fantastic.

However the Billiecart Salmon Champers is being held until a permanent job comes alive!