Climate Change
National Broadband
Internet Censorship
Stop the Boats (because so many people DON'T actually come in illegally)
Paying Dole bludgers $6,000 to get a job and hold it down for a few months
Banning unmarked cigarette packets
Taxing Mining Companies (now there's a stroke of genius, tax the backbone of our economy until they go offshore)
Becoming a Republic when the Queen carks it
Health funding - OK that's a biggie
So who to vote for:
• Australian Democrats
• Australia First Party (NSW) Incorporated
• Australian Fishing and Lifestyle Party
• Australian Greens
• Australian Labor Party (ALP)
• Australian Sex Party
• Building Australia Party
• Carers Alliance
• Christian Democratic Party (Fred Nile Group)
• Citizens Electoral Council of Australia
• Communist Alliance
• Country Liberals (Northern Territory)
• Democratic Labor Party (DLP) of Australia
• Family First Party
• Liberal Democratic Party
• Liberal Party of Australia
• National Party of Australia
• Non-Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting)
• One Nation
• Secular Party of Australia
• Senator On-Line
• Shooters and Fishers Party
• Socialist Alliance
• Socialist Equality Party
• The Climate Sceptics
Of course most Australians won't even bother to find out what the real issues are because our major parties, Liberal and Labor are both so similar it isn't funny. This is the blandest, most uninspiring, unimaginative election ever in my living memory and I've been around a while.
So, being the shallow shit that I am, I'm going to compare glamour photos and choose between our fearless leaders:
Ms Julia Gillard, who stabbed her former leader in the back (his fault for not listening), speaks deliberately, isn't married (oh the horror she has a live in lover), could fake being Jodie Foster's body double and looks mighty fine in a pair of corduroys in the pages of the Women's Weekly. Can a female Prime Minister cut the mustard in the land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder?
I guess we'll know come Sunday morning.
you realise that whatever they say to get your vote is null and void once they are in office. right? smiles.
ReplyDeletei thhink julia will make it by a hair.....
ReplyDeleteBy name I would vote for the Christian Democratic Party. We will vote about local governments in October. I stick to the conservatives in general, but I may not vote for the conservative Mayor-candidate of Budapest. I as a Budapest dweller will vote for the Mayor of Budapest, Mayor of Kőbánya (my district within Budapest) and the representatives of the 2 so at all 4 questions will be asked and there would be one more if I was the member of a minority community.
ReplyDeleteProbably I would have been stabbed as well, because when I have an idea, then I find it difficult to listen to criticism.
ReplyDeletemaybe her..but what is chunder?
ReplyDeleteFor me there is no real choice. The sight of Tony in his budgie smugglers sends the hairs on the back of my arms rigid. I'm not sure why. It's instinctive.
ReplyDeleteMaybe appearances should not count but would you vote for this man to run your country?
Never trust a man who wears budgie smugglers. Or refuses to wear a man bra.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, as Brian says, they all do something different once they're safely installed in power. Their past record might be some guide as to what they'll actually do, but don't bet on it.
If I lived in Oz I'd probably vote for Julia, but I've been disappointed lately that she seems to be trying to blunt her natural sharpness and has been making concessions to religious interests despite her very public atheism. She's more likely to win running as who she is rather than trying to pander to the crazies to - maybe - pick up a few more votes; that's a strategy guaranteed to lose you the votes you thought you already had because of their disgust at the pandering.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should start with eliminating the ones you definitely don't want to vote for. It probably leaves you with... nothing. Sorry.
ReplyDelete(I have a guy in swimming trunks featuring in my last post. But I'd vote for him any day. I'm shallow too I guess. ;-))
Oh yeah, what ís chunder...
ReplyDeleteFun glamour shots. I think Julia would get my vote.
ReplyDeleteWhat in God's name is he wearing on his head? He's only missing a baby bottle in his hand. Ewwww.
ReplyDeleteI choose the gal with the live-in lover.
Are you sure you aren't talking about Canada;-) We took that boat full of illegals in the end. I hear many have TB. I wish they'd stop letting people jump the line. We're turning away those trying to enter the legal way in order to accept terrorists. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteI thought Northern Ireland was the place with the longest list of parties or candidates each election. You now beat us on that count.
ReplyDeleteI could lend you a pin!
Go GREENs first, then Sex party.
ReplyDeleteAnd just tick GREENS above the Senate line and save yourself a lot of bother.
Now if that Old Spice guy was wearing those budgie smugglers and was out there, swimming in the ocean HELPING to WELCOME the boat people .......
I shudder when I see that budgie smuggler photo LOL
ReplyDeleteNow Julia scrubs up pretty well!
Isn't this the "lesser of two evils" again? Jeez, why do we always have to vote for the least reprehensible candidate?
ReplyDeleteI dunno...the guy in the Speedo is scary. But so is the broad with the Hollywood photo shot.
Oh this is hard for me to choose. I will have to do a Tic-tac-Toe!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Tony Abbot needs a propeller on his cap but give the man credit for a sexy physique - minus the big ears - oh just put a pillow over his head.
Sick of the manipulative, increasingly policy-free barrage of major party negative advertising in the race to the August 21 Australian federal election? Here are some antidotes:
ReplyDeleteFirst, check out the table comparing the policies of Socialist Alliance with that of the Greens, ALP and Liberals: *Policy comparison from Left
to Right* compiled by Dick Nichols: 2010 Federal Election Policy Comparison http://www.greenleft.org.au/node/45171
Second, have a look at the independent *Vote Climate survey*
http://voteclimate.org.au/2010_Aus_Federal_Policy_Comparison.html on which parties the best policy on on climate change.
Third, challenge your friends and family to use the independently created *Vote-o-matic* http://trog.qgl.org/voteomatic/ to see which party they actually should support in this elections. They may be surprised at the results.
I don't care anymore since I learned I cannot emigrate to Australia because of my age. Oh, and because I have no essential skills. (!!!)
ReplyDeleteDon't tell Annie, but I posted my change of address notice 3 days too late to be able to vote in the California primaries.
Gah.
I'm sorry, I can't vote green. They are so far off in the land of lefty la-la it scares me.
ReplyDeleteI can't vote for Tony - he's so far in the land of conservative la-la it scares me.
I can't for for Joolya because, well, she just scares me.
So it has to be the sex party.
FOR ALL THE OTHER COMMENTERS: A CHUNDER IS AUSTRALIAN SLANG FOR VOMITING, OR THROWING UP. OR UPCHUCKING. OR HEAVING. OR HAVING A TECHNICOLOR YAWN.
Apparently this originated from the passenger ships bringing people to the land down under, where those up top who paid more also suffered more rolling of the ship, and were thus more prone to seasickness. When rushing to the side to take a heave they would shout to warn those below: "Watch Under". Which naturally became abbreviated.
Like many Australian stories this may well be apocryphal (aka bullshit) but it makes a good story.
Thanks Wally, that chunder bit; nice story. Obviously true too.
ReplyDeleteAnyway Baino, how come so many political parties but only two potential leaders?
I wouldn't vote for anyone that spouts about 'issues'. They always fuck-up when in power and invariably end up imposing massive tax increases in support of their idiotic fantasies.
People need a few things only; food, drink, leisure time, money, work and each other. Anything else is of no consequence and certainly not worth getting taxed for.
Senator On-Line? Carers? LOVE the party names.
ReplyDeleteCurious, though... how much support is there in Australia for dumping the monarchy?
uh... it's cutting MUSTER [military term]... why cut mustard, when a spoon'll do? :P lol
ReplyDeletei'd vote for the broad, she's an avowed atheist ;)
we have someone in Canada who wants to "stop the boats" as well, and this issue is HUGE now, because a boat just landed off of Vancouver. You should have seen Fox News' spin on that story. It was priceless! I had to look.
ReplyDelete"This is the blandest, most uninspiring, unimaginative election ever in my living memory and I've been around a while."
I've lost count of how many of those elections we've had here now.
May the best fuckwit win.
Yes Isabella Golightly & Baino, decisions, decisions...but wait, isn't there also the lovely person of greeness and gayness from Tasmania, Bob Brown in the mix??
ReplyDeleteImagine an athiest or deeply religious married gay greenie running the joint (in budgie smugglers of course)....ah, we surely are the lucky country...given where I live the "Shooters & Fishers" party might get a look in...KAZZ
*groan*. This is the first federal election in a very long time that I haven't volunteered all day giving out 'how to vote' cards at the local election booth.I've lost heart.
ReplyDeleteWhile Tony has done much to trumpet the cause of smuggled mortified budgies, Julia must be Mikimodo's darling. The spin doctors are having a field day.
While both prime ministerial candidates have been blessed (?) with a fine set of ears,they remain aurally-challenged, with an inability to REALLY listen to the Australian people.
Even Cec's idea of putting the pillow over Abbott's head wouldn't stop him. "uh... ..look..uh..." would simply morph into... "fwh..mfk..fwh" with another false promise struggling desperately to emerge.
Oh those photos Baino - *shudder*.
I intend to enjoy my Saturday this year, regardless, and trying to give thanks that we are at least,not living in a country dominated by the Taliban.That is of course, truly something to be thankful for.
Woohooo! I love an election. I get nervously excited ever few years when the ballot box opens.
ReplyDeleteBut Baino, seriously! Not only do you post a picture of Abbott in his budgie-smugglers, but you make it a BIG picture! I nearly chundered in my coffee!
I'll probably vote Julia, indirectly (though the Sex Party sounds fun), because I can't bear the thought of the alternative.
Also, for the information of some of your international readers, we are (I think) the only country in the world to have compulsary voting. I just thought I'd raise that becasue it's an endless source of debate.
OMG, That is the funniest expression of all the funny expressions you have mentioned to us over the years.
ReplyDelete"WHEN THE QUEEN CARKS IT"
If I ever stop laughing I'll look for your explanation of this remark.
I didn't know there were so many parties to choose from.
ReplyDeleteSeriously; a Fishing and Lifestyle party??
I don't yet know who I'm going to vote for, but I'm giving thought to letting Julia have a go. i'd like to see if she can manage any better than the men have done for the last umpteen years.
@Roy; julia's problem just lately is that she's been pandering to the spin doctors, instead of being herself. hopefully that will change if she's elected.
ReplyDeleteI felt differently about this election. I found it fascinating. I have been riveted the entire 5 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI think the one single thing that stopped the development of essential policy and the discussion of essential policy is the phrase "a great big new tax on everything'. There HAS to be taxes on things to solve communal problems like health, education, water, communications, equality. How else will equality be achieved. Leave it to market forces? Hah!!!!!!!