Friday Fuckwit/s

So many I have to give you more than one. . .in the spirit of fairness . .an Aussie heads the bill:

A THIEF has bungled an attempt to break in to a car in Adelaide, locking himself inside the vehicle as police arrived.

Police said the man was one of two caught early this morning breaking into cars at Port Noarlunga, in the city's southern suburbs. A 28-year-old was found hiding in some bushes while a 53-year-old was found hiding in one of the cars.

"The man, while breaking in to the car, had locked himself inside and couldn't get out," a police spokesman said.

Two men have been charged with illegal interference and theft.

but they have them in England as well . . .

A SUSPECTED armed thief got himself stuck on a narrow unit block ledge 15m above ground and stayed there teetering on the edge for six hours.

The alleged thief, 50 and holding a six-inch knife, nearly toppled over the ledge three times but managed to stay on the ledge with his knife until eventually getting down to waiting police.

All residents of the block were told to evacuate their homes as the alleged thief broke through the windows of one unit and then another as he moved along the ledge.

Police, fire and ambulance officers were even made cups of tea by neighbours in Hove, East Sussex, England, as they waited for the alleged criminal to come down.

But no . .we have the best and the stupidest in Sydney this month

IF PETER Hinton had stopped after allegedly stealing five T-bone steaks and a frozen corn-fed chicken, he could have dodged any comparisons with stupid criminals.

Hinton, 20, is accused of breaking into Dangerous Dan's butcher shop in Macksville and taking the meat from a freezer room early yesterday.

Not content with having allegedly nabbed a decent dinner, it seems he then took the frozen chook to nearby Cafe Au Lait. After a couple of rocks failed to shatter the glass, he allegedly threw the bird in, badly slashing his hand in the process.

It was then that Hinton gave up the game and dialled triple-0 himself.

Police said he was fearful a few blood stains left at the scene would have led police to him - and he may have wanted an ambulance.

Police have compared Hinton, from Nambucca Heads, to two handcuffed escapees who ran into a pole and managed to wrap themselves around it in New Zealand last week.

Cafe Au Lait's Jessica Ormandy cast doubt on the seriousness of any injury, discovering only a small amount of blood when she arrived for work.

"Well, he is a bit of a chicken. There were no big splashes of blood," she said.

Police said they were stunned by the triple-0 call.

Ha . . vegetarians don't get into that much trouble nicking a lettuce!