Friday Fuckwits or Good Vibrations

Friday once more and frankly, this week's gone slower than frozen treacle or a dust cloud oozing over Europe but here we are . . Chardy chillin', music playin', pasta cookin' (love you Adam!) a dozen muscles (of the fishy kind) in the fridge and a bouillabaisse just waiting to be made. In keeping with the blatant sexual inuendo afflicting this blog of late (it's not deliberate, honestly) I bring you a couple of interesting fuckwits that could work together to solve each other's problems:

A woman claims falling from a Wii Fit board turned her into a nymphomaniac.

Amanda Flowers told the Daily Star she now needs up to 10 sex sessions a day after damaging a nerve after falling off her Wii Fit.

She has been diagnosed with persistent genital arousal disorder, a condition which gained global attention when it featured in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy in 2008.

Ms Flowers, who lives in Manchester, said the urge to have sex was irresistible.

She said small vibrations from her mobile phone or food processor were enough to turn her on.

"It began as a twinge down below, before surging through my body," Ms Flowers told the Daily Star.

"Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm."

The single Ms Flowers said all she could do was try to control it with deep breathing, or "find a superstud who can satisfy me".

Now if Ms Flowers met this lady, they might be able to come up with a compromise:

Police buzz in to solve vibrator mystery

A WOMAN phoned police after hearing "suspicious noises" in her flat, but much to her embarrassment officers found the source was a vibrator, authorities say.

The noise was so loud and strange, even over the telephone, that police in Bochum in western Germany decided to send a patrol car around to the "scene of the crime", a statement said.

"Daringly, and with the occupier's permission, one of the officers opened the drawer of a wardrobe where the noise was coming from.

"Underneath some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated object which had obviously switched itself on... The tenant's face abruptly changed colour."

Police then "wished her a nice evening and left".

Excuse me, I'm off to buy a Wii or a battery operated device . . . .have a wonderful weekend! Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . . . then maybe I'll just find a coin operated boy!

Dresden Dolls - Coin Operated Boy

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