After soap boxing on the morality of infidelity (or lack thereof) I've been pondering (yes I pootle and I ponder) the more positive side of relationships and the 'what would you do for love' question.
I'm not talking about parental love, political love, love of your fellow man - although these are important and Ian, my new guru, postulated in a serious post about a Phillipino priest who made the ultimate sacrifice at the hands of rebels with his own life, and asked who would be prepared to join someone in that gesture. This is love of a different kind.
I mean romantic love. How far would you go to put things right, chase Mr or Mrs right or just 'see' if it's right. I know someone who recently took a trans atlantic trip in the hope of rekindling an old flame - The signs were all there that there was hope. It wasn't a silly whim but a well informed decision based on good information and promises. So, this person sold up, bought a ticket and chased their dream. It had to be done otherwise they would have spent their whole life wondering. OK drastic measure perhaps and it did go pear-shaped. Now they're rethinking the wisdom of the expensive sojourn but at least they know where they stand and the sole motivation - love.
I've known a man donate a kidney to someone he loved. Another give up his ambition for one he loved. I know women who have sacrificed careers for love or taken on known disability and hardship for love. What makes them do it?
I've never had to make a huge sacrifice for love. It's never required moving state or country . . .I've never had to do without or fall out with family for love. I've never had to put myself in danger but I wonder if the moment arrived, how far would I go. What would I be prepared to do to ensure that love survived. What sacrifice would I make for love if put in a position where it was required?
I've written Eulogies for the parents of friends - yes plural - three passings in fact have been marked by incredible stories of love. These parents have left occupied territories or oppressive regimes as young lovers, been split between refugee camps in disparate countries, placed in hostels and eventally reunited in Australia to marry and raise a family. Incredible journey's of love. I've known sweethearts at 17 who married and after 26 years still hold hands when they go bushwalking, testament to the endurance of love . . .I've heard of expensive and extravagant gestures to proclaim love from proposals in Helicopters to romantic escapes to designed to sweep their lover off their feet. I've watched the loss of love and its devastating effects. Then, I've heard of young lovers going their separate ways and at their end of days, rekindling the romance ... strange thing this 'love' business.
Me, I don't know. I've been in love, just twice. I am a firm believer in the unforgettable passion but misguided conceptions of my first love, the wonderful absorption and reality of my great love and if I'm lucky, I'll get to taste the security and serenity of my last love! *ever the optimist*.
Have you ever been in love? What would you be prepared to do for love? How did you propose or commit? What sacrifices do you make for love or have you made for love? What did you do to proclaim your love? C'mon, spill . . it's just between you and me!
16 comments:
MMMM What do I know about love - only that I married MY sweetheart that I met when I was 17 and still get butterflies when I see his car. Silly isnt it. No sacrifices, other than not travelling outside Australia - he's not comfortable flying...but we're working on that. Our love has changed from that passionate got to shag you now love, to a more you're my right arm love and its great.....our future is so bright - I'll need to wear shades!
I think love is overrated mostly, a figment of the naïve’s imagination. I would not move country or chase any man, my niece, nephew or little mofo, sure, in a heartbeat but a man, hell no. In saying that when John and I were together we had a huge row one night well he had a huge row I’m not the screaming and shouting type anyway we didn’t talk for a couple of weeks, in that time little Miss Nonny resolved to act like a Sheppard and get the flock outta here with my mates who where about to jet off around the world for a year or so. I did not tell John. A couple of days later Nonny was in Vietnam, sitting by a pool. I got an e-mail form John saying something like “Nonny when I get you I’m going to fucking kill you”. Naturally I was like, “Yeah whatever, I’m in nam, catch me if you can”. Approximately three days later my darling dearest appeared in the hotels reception with two of his mates who still aren’t sure why they went. Anyway, John never wanted to travel but he gave up his job, sold his car, and gave his house to a letting agent all for moi. Please note it was not a romantic embrace or passionate kiss when we met it was more, grab Nonny in a headlock and threaten violence should I ever try to leave him again. He probably had more stalker potential than that of the romantic persuasion. I was thrilled though. The newbie is a bit slack when it comes to going the extra mile.
I still believe in love.
Babysis; You're so lucky! Or very good at maintaining a relationship. I love that you get butterflies seeing his car!
Nonny: You're a pragmatist. But keep the faith.I'm sort of like that. I'm ont a bluebirds flyi8ng around the halo type. I'm not sure I believe in "The One" but oh what a romantic gesture . . see I've never experienced that. And like my friend . . it had to be done even if it didn't work. Maybe Newbie has other attributes to commend him!
Brianf: Good.
Meh, some people just live on the drama of such things, that can’t be good thing either, eventually there is no appeasing them. So don’t think you are missing out unless off your into the whole stormy relationship thing.
Oh and Newbie, he shouts a lot but gives good back rubs and brings me tea in bed in the mornings. Hanging on by a thread I tell ye!
With the right person love is wonderful. With the wrong one it is HELL on earth.
Thankfully personally I have only experienced the former.
When I was a wee fella back in the rare auld times - okay, back when I was sixteen, all of eight years ago - I was attempting to woo a girl called Aobheann. She was having none of it, so I decided to go all out and take her to Eddie Rocket's in Donnybrook and buy her anything she wanted. A massive meal later and still no exchange of saliva.
So myself and Tommy Cajones came up with an idea, and two days later I turned up in a chicken suit and said she was eggs-actly the right woman for me.
I haven't been able to show my face around parts of Dun Laoghaire since.
I have been unlucky and I just wrote an essay for the Hungarian teacher which was quite against love.
What would I do for love? Difficult one - I've never been called on to make a major sacrifice so I really don't know how far I would go. But I guess I would be happy to donate a kidney for Jenny if she needed it, even though I'm scared of hospitals.
I went back to my true love after a horrifying set of betrayals, worked harder at this relationship than I've ever worked at anything, have walked away from my dream job and have put up with A Mother-in-Law... and don't have a single regret.
Grannymar: You and I were lucky (and unlucky) . . better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
BrianD: Um well unusual but I guess sort of romantic in a comical kind of way. Pretty brave for a 16 year old! There's really a place called Donnybrook?
Ah Ropi: Time will tell. Fortunately you're young! I'm sure you'll fall in love.
Nick: You are one of the lucky ones 26 years together is no mean feat. Like me I've never had to make too many sacrifices. My late husband once stood up to his mother in a "don't ask me to make a choice between her and you". She backed down and we are now very close but it was touch and go there for a while! I thought that was very romantic if not a bit awkward.
Kate: You forgave for love and that's something pretty amazing.
Eh, yeah. It preceded the meaning of 'having a drunken brawl'. Wikipedia has a fine article on it, but now it's a fine village altogether.
I don't want to write a novel. Had a very full life early and now enjoying someone who actually compromises - which means sacrifices are equally shared. Easy :)
OH MUST tell about my response to proposal! I told him I'd think about it ... hehheeee. THEN three days later had two big scary looking biker guys knock at the front door with a bunch of flowers saying I say "YES" but threatening Bearman they will be watching and would take care of him he didn't take good care of me. Meanwhile I was sprawled in the bedroom wearing a red ribbon - Bearman didn't know I was home. Unfortunately, Bearman ACTUALLY KNEW one of the guys and they had a hard time leaving because he offered them a drink etc. HAHHHAAAAA. Blah. I was pretty bored by the time he discovered me at home.
Well I would do anything for love, but I wont do that!
Oh Christ, I can't believe that I just quoted Meathead. I'm tired.
Anon: I hope it was a warm day! Wrapped in nothing more than a red ribbon!
Jack: Better late than never and I saw Meatloaf years ago . . I have Bat out of Hell somewhere . . on vinyl! *cries cos she can remember the words*
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