I have spent the whole day in my fucking pyjamas. No not the ones that I wear during romantic interludes and not because I'm that attached to them, despite the fact that they are very comfy and cool but because it was apparent, the Dell wasn't well. My morning habit is to wake very early - make a cuppa, crank up the old battleaxe, check the blogs and emails, then shower, dress and get on with the day. Only if I'm happily distracted by some overseas Skype pal am I ever in me jimmy jams after 7:00am.
After a few spits and squeaks and numerous restarts, Ctrl Alt Deletes, Task Manager manipulations, Disk Cleanups and Defrags and even a half hour cooling off period and some serious power point poker, the bitch decided to give up the ghost for about half an hour hastening panic among the humans in the house, "Shit, shit, shit, shit . . motherfucking PC. I only wanted you to last until the end of January . . fuck! fuck!" from me (practising my best Four Weddings and a Funeral 'fuck') to accusatory "What the fuck did you do mum? If I can't get my photos on a disc, I'm fucked! I need them for Fringelet's birthday present!" from the normally quite politely spoken DrummerBoy who's romance collage for the Fringelet's birthday relied on him downloading a disk of carefully chosen snooxy photos.
I managed to get the old girl resurected but with a few provisos:
- She started slower than frozen treacle
- She refused to let me load a new version of Nero
- Simply wouldn't allow Quicktime
- Stalled every 3 CD's due to exhaustion
- Positively went into a spin over MSN and Hotmail
- Made a totally inappropriate buzzy/farty noise if I moved the mouse too fast
- Will not open Word most times and when she does, all the drop down menus appear to jump all over the screen
- Simply turned off the screen ad hoc if I swore at her
I wouldn't mind in a month or so . . . I know I need a new PC and this six year old Trojan doesn't really owe me anything but after a $470 ignition replacement in the Hoonda and $270 of new brakes on top of the Christmas spendfest and exorbitant council rates, the last thing I can afford is $2000 for a decent PC. She has to last until 31st January when I can clean out the iMac of ClareBear's images and optimise the whole shebang. Lets face it, I only use my home PC for Internet and Skype so the Mac should do me for a few more months.
The rest of the day was spent 'nursing' files onto a CD so that when the old crone finally carks it, I have my photos and files intact. (For God's sake don't tell her I called her a Crone . . she already takes half an hour to download a You Tube vid!). The big problem besides a cancerous processor and 512 RAM is hard drive memory. DrummerBoy has so many narcissistic Aktor jpegs, iTunes, Winamp and band (not banned- although I didn't watch them all!) video files that even copying them to disk took veritable hours while he plonked along with his gesture of romance for the girlf! (which looked very pretty when he'd finished with it by the by!)
So for those of you on dial up . . .trust me . . your PC's are faster than mine!
Maybe Ms Dell has been talking to this guy . . .