Monday, March 22, 2010

My Second Job

Right things are getting dire downunder and it's time to look for a second job. Easy yeh? Well I thought surely I could find something shelf-stacking at Coles or Woollies in the evening even if I have to wear a ski suit and spend the night in a freezer. Not so!

I was unwell today, bit of stress and and a touch of too much chili jam in the burritos last night I expect. S0, after coming home from work early, snoozing a little, washing my floors because housework clears the head and distracts me from 'issues' right? Then doing what comes naturally . . I started trawling the net for appropriate casual work either in the evenings or on the weekend:


Promotional Models
Hi girls,
We are Sydney's fastest growing monthly Tech-house nights in Kings Cross. For our next event on Easter Sunday we need outgoing, go-getter, positive and passionate-about-music girls to hand out flyers and attract club goers into the club on the night. Please email us with a photo of yourself. Given that Kings Cross is our red light district, I think not.

Flat Cleanup and Cooking Help
I am looking for a girl who can help us in general cleaning and may be help in cooking as well if she can. we prefer Indian /punjabi girl. good pay/hour time adjustable.

I cook a mean Rogan Josh


Pregnant Model Required

Hello, I am the owner of a maternity wear company and I need a model who is pregnant, ideally 7 months or thereabouts. The tummy is needed for a close up shot for some packaging (wearing jeans). Ideally size 8-10 with good legs.
A great face is a bonus, as we may to a "lifestyle shot" , but it is a really good tummy with nice belly button that is very important. Half a day's work. Good pay. Hmm could probably get away with that one .. wonder if they want an 'innie' or an 'outie'?

Cleaner (BINGO!)
Needed for 2 and a half hours work is a girl willing to work in lingerie uniform. Employment is on a regular but casual basis. All is supplied and only general cleaning and office duties will be required. For more information and interview and almost immediate work 5:30pm; email with pic to:
Do I get paid extra because there's 'more' of me?



What? . . . It's Lingerie?

38 comments:

Dragonfly said...

So many opportunities!! Which one will you choose??? ;-)
Best of luck on your search! I'm not sure if its any easier in Bris?

Lorna Lilo said...

Look for some temp work doing filing. You just file everything under 'T' for 'The'. You probably could do this in your underwear as well.

Mim said...

good lord, are these real? you're not allowed to specify sex in US ads, although it always comes thru, who else would be a pregnant model.

Brian Miller said...

sounds like you have lots of oppotunity there baino..lol.err...a few sound a bit odd.

Ocean Girl said...

lol..this is so funny. you are so funny Baino. I'm still chuckling.

Australia offers plenty of job opportunities!

Alan Burnett said...

Not exactly equal opportunity employers are they. Do such laws extend to your neck of the woods?

Tom said...

i wish i could go to work in my pajamas.

Susan at Stony River said...

Well now all you need to do is become a 20-year-old pregnant Punjabi girl wearing lingerie, and you'll be spoiled for choice.

Yikes!

kj said...

a cleaner in lingerie? who pays the dry cleaning bill?

these are hilarious. equally hilarious is lorna lilo's instruction on filing.

it's a temp agency for you, honey hells. you are a valuable commodity skill wise. of course. i can't comment on your backside although i'm sure you will qualify there too if you choose the right lingerie.

hee hee

Liza said...

"Flat Cleanup and Cooking Help"
when I first read that I thought I read FAT Cleanup...Ewwww.

Variety is the spice of life!

Best of luck to you Baino.

Roy said...

Hmmmm... Slim pickings for the mature adult there. Not too far different from the situation here. Good luck!

nick said...

Depressing to see the sort of jobs you have to resort to if you're desperate to keep yourself solvent. The blatant sexist overtones are appalling. I hope you can find something that at least leaves your self-respect more or less intact.

Darlene said...

I wonder if I could qualify for that lingerie modeling job. I guess not; wrinkles and love handles are not in this year.

Gledwood said...

"Pregnant model required"... never heard that one before!!

Janice said...

Very amusing job opportunities! lol

e said...

I can certainly empathise, although your ads are more creative thsn those I've seen here...

Best of luck!

Grannymar said...

Those adverts are good for your health if not for your purse. The time spent laughing will bring down the BP!

happy hunting!

Ronda Laveen said...

You downunderlings certainly have some interesting choices for work. Thanks for the cultural cross-section and good luck with the lingerie.

unstranger said...

Find out how to make money with your blog. It can be done. Talk to bocktherobber.com he's doing it and he will advise you. I have no doubt you'll make a killing Baino.

i beati said...

I'll do it need money to pay fora new health care bill sk

otin said...

You had me laughing at the really nice tummy comment! LOL!!!

laughingwolf said...

too funny, including the comments!

Kath Lockett said...

Jaysus - the mind boggles at what you'd have to wear to ANY of those job interviews!

Submit some of your articles to the paper - they'll love 'em and pay you for it! Write about your experiences with Troll Bitch and the job market, and your kids and life, and darling deceased husband, and.... and..... everything else that keeps so many regular readers coming back for more!

Pam said...

Susan and Stony River beat me to it. Love the image.

Megan said...

Innie.

Baino said...

Oh you're all very silly. Actually these were 'online' ads on a site called Gumtree that is quite popular here and yep, legitimate! Crazy world. I think I'll keep looking for the shelf-stacking job!

Rowe said...

Ah, yes, the classifieds, they don't get much better online, either.

Kate said...

And I thought barmaiding jobs were hard work - I wish you luck my friend!!

Mmm said...

Well I have a 2nd job--it's my design business --keeps me going and exhausted too as i do it as many hours as my regular work and when I add up the hours i work for about 1/3 of minimum wage, if that. Oh dear me. Go for the Indian chef job! you get to be spicy at least. :)

River said...

A temp filing job sounds good, but if you follow Lorna Lilo's advice to file everything under T for "the", you risk calling down upon yourself the wrath of K, who frequently has to sort out the files after some temp has speedily buzzed through her job by filing everything under T.

River said...

P.S. Let's expand on Kath Lockett's thought. Does your home have a name? If not, get one, then market your stories as a book titled "Life At *****", with some sort of subtitle that will grab the attention of potential buyers.Naturally, you don't publish ALL the stories, keep some for a sequel book. You could become a best-seller.

Sarah Lulu said...

Email with pic and it's for a cleaning job?!

Mim said...

Here's a thought...how about writing as a second job. Maybe for a local newspaper, or magazine. Your writing is wonderful - you'd bring such a good view to local news.

Isabella Golightly said...

All you need is a dark spray tan, some prosthetics and a visit to Victoria's Secret & you're in. Can't wait to see the pics!

Ces said...

These are funny Baino. Hahaha! I want to see the pic of the person looking for a cleaner in lingerie uniform.

Cheeseboy said...

Wow, those are some pretty great options. I think you may have to decide once you interview.

JamaGenie said...

"Cleaning" in a lingerie "uniform"? I'd like to see the (gal?) who landed that one!

JeffScape said...

HAHAHAH! I wrote a "Help Wanted" piece a few months back. You should see if you qualify for any of those positions.

;)