Thursday, July 12, 2012

An apology
I am often a needy biatch and a paranoid idiot. I don't know where this insecurity comes from and it passes as quickly as it takes me over but I hate it. I used to be a confident, happy, resourceful and capable person - and in many ways - I sometimes am. But lately, whether it's mood swings, my lot in life, the sadness of a dreary winter, the patronsng attitude  of some, empty nesting, empty pockets or just plain nicotine withdrawal; I have become a whiny bitch and an overthinking paranoid idiot. It's something I'm working on but in the meantime, please be patient with me.  I'm sorry to Jeff who is infinitely patient with me at the moment and to Siobhan because I am sometimes a Skype witch and she deserves better.  Apologies to my children for being a negative sour puss and an anti-social freak. I will have the outlaws over when the sun shines, I promise.  I am making a conscious effort to overcome whatever it is that's gripping me these days. Happiness is a state of mind and sometimes I feel like I'm losing mine.

An Appreciation
A good start would be a few thank you's.  Huge thanks to those who contributed to the Dog Kickstart. Some of the people I haven't met but know through the blogs, some who have never heard of Jeffscape and some who I haven't seen for a very long time. It's been quite a surprise to see who's come forward and I would be lying if I wasn't a little disappointed in those who I thought might have supported someone I care about so much, yet didn't. But, Ces la vie...thank you, thank you to those who donated so generously.  Mim, Karen Jasper, Karen Sagovac, Ashleigh, Rigmore,Sue, Patti, Ros ....There's still a few days for those of you who want to make this happen and be part of film making history. They've almost reached their minimum and are now aiming for $7500 to make the film truly spectacular.

A Promise
I will blog more often, visit more often, smile more often and exercise patience with those I love. I will curb my envy, squash my insecurities, be kinder, nicer, happier and look forward to the warmer weather because it isn't far away/ I'm not a very nice person to know at the moment. But things will get better.

...and yes...there will be a Friday Fuckwit..

13 comments:

Brian Miller said...

nice...i look forward to the return of fuckwits...if for no other reason than the possibility of the return of you....smiles.

Roy said...

Ah, nicotine withdrawal; I remember it well! No worries, kiddo, we still love you.

kj said...

Hells, what you have done for jeff's project says everything about you. I know I would in some fashion feel that same loyalty and support if needed and that's all I need to know. Bitchy whines are allowed sometimes: in fact: WAAAAAA!

I will be glad if you are back blogging. I hope we can get milady and Melissa back too: those days before these days :-)

I loves you, period
kj

Grannymar said...

Welcome back missus! You have been missed. When I am feeling grumpy, I make sure all the windows and doors are closed and then shout at the walls. They cannot answer back and I get rid of my angst.

You are in winter facing better weather. We are in dreary wet and cool so called summer - there was snow in London yesterday! What in H**l will we be like when the winter actually comes. Can I come and camp on your doorstep?

Siobhan said...

All is already forgiven chooken. Chin up!

Janice said...

Oh, yes...bring on the fuckwits!!! Please. As for being a grump on occasion or even often, it happens. And then we move on.

Kath Lockett said...

Sorry for not contributing, Baino. Living here in Switzerland has shocked us financially to the very core and Sapphire's re-emergence of last year's stomach infection has seen the arrival of far too many scary medical bills.....

As for whining or being paranoid, never fear - I do it far more frequently and at 'louder' levels than you do! :)

Baino said...

Thank you lovlies. I do feel the mood returning although my commenters have gone awol, except perhaps for you guys.

Baino said...

Thank you lovlies. I do feel the mood returning although my commenters have gone awol, except perhaps for you guys.

PattiKen said...

I knew something was wrong. Aw, my friend, you know that I have an up-close-and-personal relationship with the grumpies. Everybody needs a good pout now and then. So go with it, Hells. And know you have a worldful of friends who will wait and look forward to seeing your happy self out here in the ether. Big hugs!

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nick said...

Oh, it looks like suicide to me. An Afghan man living alone in a flat. Quite deliberately climbing into the tigers' enclosure. Hardly an accident.

Karen Sagovac said...

Blame it on the weather - hate the cold. Soon it will be warmer and sunnier all will look brighter (this is my mantra but you can borrow until it makes you feel better or drives you completely insane...). Love ya x