I am often a needy biatch and a paranoid idiot. I don't know where this insecurity comes from and it passes as quickly as it takes me over but I hate it. I used to be a confident, happy, resourceful and capable person - and in many ways - I sometimes am. But lately, whether it's mood swings, my lot in life, the sadness of a dreary winter, the patronsng attitude of some, empty nesting, empty pockets or just plain nicotine withdrawal; I have become a whiny bitch and an overthinking paranoid idiot. It's something I'm working on but in the meantime, please be patient with me. I'm sorry to Jeff who is infinitely patient with me at the moment and to Siobhan because I am sometimes a Skype witch and she deserves better. Apologies to my children for being a negative sour puss and an anti-social freak. I will have the outlaws over when the sun shines, I promise. I am making a conscious effort to overcome whatever it is that's gripping me these days. Happiness is a state of mind and sometimes I feel like I'm losing mine.
A good start would be a few thank you's. Huge thanks to those who contributed to the Dog Kickstart. Some of the people I haven't met but know through the blogs, some who have never heard of Jeffscape and some who I haven't seen for a very long time. It's been quite a surprise to see who's come forward and I would be lying if I wasn't a little disappointed in those who I thought might have supported someone I care about so much, yet didn't. But, Ces la vie...thank you, thank you to those who donated so generously. Mim, Karen Jasper, Karen Sagovac, Ashleigh, Rigmore,Sue, Patti, Ros ....There's still a few days for those of you who want to make this happen and be part of film making history. They've almost reached their minimum and are now aiming for $7500 to make the film truly spectacular.
I will blog more often, visit more often, smile more often and exercise patience with those I love. I will curb my envy, squash my insecurities, be kinder, nicer, happier and look forward to the warmer weather because it isn't far away/ I'm not a very nice person to know at the moment. But things will get better.
...and yes...there will be a Friday Fuckwit..