Friday Fuckwit(s)

I once wrote a story about a man who got himself into a bit of strife with the wrong woman but more than one Chinese policeman managed to emerge red faced after a daring rescue.

The phrase "inflated body count' took on new meaning for 18 cops in China's Shandong Province who worked together to save a sex doll they thought was a drowning woman. (No shit...cos we all look the same to them?)

The incident happened July 11 when officers responded to a report that there was a lady in distress in one of the province's rivers. The crew worked frantically for nearly an hour to rescue the woman, according to Digital Journal, and in the process, attracted a crowd of about 1,000 curious, excited and anxious spectators to the scene.

It took more than 40 minutes before the officers were able to recover the pleasure toy.

After confirming that they had indeed run around in a panic for nearly an hour over trying to rescue someone’s blow-up girlfriend, the police presented it to the anxious crowd, who quickly covered their children’s eyes and walked away.

Friday Fuckwit

Alright, six bloggers did donate to the Kickstart for Dog and I promised them a Friday Fuckwit. I was torn between the teenager in America's south who swam in aligator infested waters and wondered why one of these highly territorial but normally calm predators decided to nab a forearm and death roll him for dinner....seriously son? Shouldn't you have avoided the murky waters and gone for a dip with the floaters and toddlers in the local pool.. you fucking idiot. I hope you're left handed.

But no....today's Darwin Award and dual Friday Fuckwit goes to the knob who decided that playing with oversized pussycats after hours was a good idea.

In Copenhagen, Denmark, an unnamed 20-year-old Afghan man was killed by tigers in the city's zoo after he climbed a fence and crossed a moat into the animals' enclosure, early this morning.
He was found dead, surrounded by three Siberian tigers when the zoo staff arrived for work.
It is unknown unclear why the man entered the tiger area, but police have not ruled out suicide.
According to the Danish newspaper Ekstrabladet, the young man lived alone in a flat near his family in central Copenhagen and was just about to finish high school.
Superintendent Lars Borg told Ekstrabladet: "We received an emergency call at about 7.30am that a person had been found lying in the tiger pen and that three tigers were surrounding that person."
"The tigers attacked him and killed him. It is likely that a bite to the throat was the primary reason for his death. He has been in the water and the animals must have seen that and attacked him."

Perhaps it was a better alternative than landing on Christmas Island in a leaky boat and waiting to be processed in a detention centre in Australia.

Have a great weekend folks and don't forget to support the yarts and give the price of a cuppa to my darling man....

An apology
I am often a needy biatch and a paranoid idiot. I don't know where this insecurity comes from and it passes as quickly as it takes me over but I hate it. I used to be a confident, happy, resourceful and capable person - and in many ways - I sometimes am. But lately, whether it's mood swings, my lot in life, the sadness of a dreary winter, the patronsng attitude  of some, empty nesting, empty pockets or just plain nicotine withdrawal; I have become a whiny bitch and an overthinking paranoid idiot. It's something I'm working on but in the meantime, please be patient with me.  I'm sorry to Jeff who is infinitely patient with me at the moment and to Siobhan because I am sometimes a Skype witch and she deserves better.  Apologies to my children for being a negative sour puss and an anti-social freak. I will have the outlaws over when the sun shines, I promise.  I am making a conscious effort to overcome whatever it is that's gripping me these days. Happiness is a state of mind and sometimes I feel like I'm losing mine.

An Appreciation
A good start would be a few thank you's.  Huge thanks to those who contributed to the Dog Kickstart. Some of the people I haven't met but know through the blogs, some who have never heard of Jeffscape and some who I haven't seen for a very long time. It's been quite a surprise to see who's come forward and I would be lying if I wasn't a little disappointed in those who I thought might have supported someone I care about so much, yet didn't. But, Ces la vie...thank you, thank you to those who donated so generously.  Mim, Karen Jasper, Karen Sagovac, Ashleigh, Rigmore,Sue, Patti, Ros ....There's still a few days for those of you who want to make this happen and be part of film making history. They've almost reached their minimum and are now aiming for $7500 to make the film truly spectacular.

A Promise

I will blog more often, visit more often, smile more often and exercise patience with those I love. I will curb my envy, squash my insecurities, be kinder, nicer, happier and look forward to the warmer weather because it isn't far away/ I'm not a very nice person to know at the moment. But things will get better.

...and yes...there will be a Friday Fuckwit..

Please Send Moneez

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted here. I guess the fact that I broke my arm on Good Friday then ruptured an extensor tendon five weeks later, means that I've been in a cast and splint for just about 10 weeks....there, that's April and May sorted...and now here we are half way through June.  My fingers are free, my wrist is a mangled mess and I have the scars to prove it but after my bully of a physiotherapist has finished manipulating the bejeezus out of my bones and causing me more pain than the original ailments...life should get back to normal.

And before you ask. No, I haven't given up smoking...yet....although my role model has gone since March with only four nurrells smoked, and is lauding it over me nicely so...guilt will take it's toll even if sheer economics does not.
Not much to report, work, being a one armed invalid, working, hack writing on the other blog and mostly socialising with family and friends.  I'll let the pictures do the talking. So how are all of you? Or those who are left with me in their reader? I'm feeling a slightly renewed urge to blog...perhaps it will pass, but truth be told, I miss you all and a quick look back on the old girl and I kinda miss her too.

Although my reason for posting is less than altruistic. My darling boy, the light of my life Jeffscape has been hard at work writing scripts and screenplays. One of which is in pre production as a short film in preparation for the festival circuit. I've had a lot of faith in this guy's ability and it's been a long time coming seeing the puzzle piece together but now, with a fine team of film makers, producers, cinematographers and actors, he as the writer is ready to fledge. Please help them raise the tiniest bit of cash to fund this project.
You can invest, yes I said invest, as little as a dollar or as much as you want. Given that for the cost of a loaf of bread you could be part of something sweet, creative and with a message, should be it's own reward. They have a "Kickstarter" page where you pledge and leave credit card details via Amazon so it's safe, secure and if they don't make bank, no funds are deducted. If they hit their target, your card will be debited. They're already 30% there with a couple of weeks to go so please, if you have any interest in the creative arts, slip a coin in their virtual pocket. If only half a dozen of you help, I'll do a Friday Fuckwit for the next six weeks. And that's a promise.

If you can't see the Kickstarter Video, just click here