Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The First to Go
I used to have a crush on this guy at Uni . . I'm prone to crushes . . always have been. Tall, rugged looking with brown wavey hair and blue eyes. Infectious smile and a slightly hooked nose that gave him a Robert Redford'ish look (Don't laugh he was hot in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!) He had the body of a surfer,played golf at Pennant level and was part of the group I hung around with during that time. We attended lectures together, joked, laughed. He scribbled on my lecture pads and we shared smokes on Level 11. The only problem, he belonged to someone else! She too was lovely,friendly and a pretty good golfer herself - and after I met my own true love, we were invited to their wedding and kept in touch for a few years.
After a long distance move to Melbourne chasing a job, the marriage became unsteady despite the birth of their pigeon pair twins. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She couldn't leave him while he was ill. The tumour was successfully removed but the effect on his personality (I am told) had an even more negative effect on an already crumbling relationship and they separated and finally divorced. It wasn't pleasant and I never saw him again although I kept in touch with his wife through other friends. The last I heard of him was that he'd started a coffee shop in the same town where my Brother in Law lives and it was via him, I got the news.
Today I was told that my uni crush had hung himself on Sunday afternoon up on the Central Coast. I don't know how I feel about it.. . .I haven't seen or heard from him in 30. In fact I can hardly say I 'know' him . .I doubt I'd recognise him in the street even if I saw him . . for me, his suicide is sadly painless. I don't really feel anything except a sense of awful waste - he was 53 years old.
It is so very sad when someone, anyone, let alone someone you have known becomes so desperate that this is the only course of action open to them. I don't know why he did it, nor will I probably ever know. But his children will now be beneficiaries of a reasonable estate . . I wonder how many times in the past when things were really tough they 'wished' they had more money. . . just shows, you should be careful what you wish for.
He was the first of Ray's golfing friends to leave us and sadly by his own hand.
Apparently he was a difficult man to deal with in the latter years, but nobody deserves such misery. Bless you Denis . .I hope you're in a happier place.