Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday Fuckwit/s


So many I have to give you more than one. . .in the spirit of fairness . .an Aussie heads the bill:

A THIEF has bungled an attempt to break in to a car in Adelaide, locking himself inside the vehicle as police arrived.

Police said the man was one of two caught early this morning breaking into cars at Port Noarlunga, in the city's southern suburbs. A 28-year-old was found hiding in some bushes while a 53-year-old was found hiding in one of the cars.

"The man, while breaking in to the car, had locked himself inside and couldn't get out," a police spokesman said.

Two men have been charged with illegal interference and theft.


but they have them in England as well . . .


A SUSPECTED armed thief got himself stuck on a narrow unit block ledge 15m above ground and stayed there teetering on the edge for six hours.

The alleged thief, 50 and holding a six-inch knife, nearly toppled over the ledge three times but managed to stay on the ledge with his knife until eventually getting down to waiting police.

All residents of the block were told to evacuate their homes as the alleged thief broke through the windows of one unit and then another as he moved along the ledge.

Police, fire and ambulance officers were even made cups of tea by neighbours in Hove, East Sussex, England, as they waited for the alleged criminal to come down.


But no . .we have the best and the stupidest in Sydney this month


IF PETER Hinton had stopped after allegedly stealing five T-bone steaks and a frozen corn-fed chicken, he could have dodged any comparisons with stupid criminals.

Hinton, 20, is accused of breaking into Dangerous Dan's butcher shop in Macksville and taking the meat from a freezer room early yesterday.

Not content with having allegedly nabbed a decent dinner, it seems he then took the frozen chook to nearby Cafe Au Lait. After a couple of rocks failed to shatter the glass, he allegedly threw the bird in, badly slashing his hand in the process.

It was then that Hinton gave up the game and dialled triple-0 himself.

Police said he was fearful a few blood stains left at the scene would have led police to him - and he may have wanted an ambulance.

Police have compared Hinton, from Nambucca Heads, to two handcuffed escapees who ran into a pole and managed to wrap themselves around it in New Zealand last week.

Cafe Au Lait's Jessica Ormandy cast doubt on the seriousness of any injury, discovering only a small amount of blood when she arrived for work.

"Well, he is a bit of a chicken. There were no big splashes of blood," she said.

Police said they were stunned by the triple-0 call.

Ha . . vegetarians don't get into that much trouble nicking a lettuce!

25 comments:

nick said...

Really, thieves nowadays, they just don't know their trade. In the old days they had to have a decent degree in criminal studies and a PhD in robbery techniques. Nowadays absolutely anybody's allowed to do it and the rest of us have to pick up the pieces.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

And Granny Were says, "Serves the plonker right"!

I love the way the Hove police were kept going by cups of tea - it speaks volumes...

Off for a nice cuppa now, chook.
;-)

Baino said...

Total lack of preparation Nick. What's the world coming to? Not a cat burglar among 'em. Who steals a chicken? Now honestly!

Keystone cops are alive and well and living in Hove AV! 'ello ello, what's goin' on 'ere then'

subtorp77 said...

Baino-thief locked in car reference; "52 Pick-up" with Roy Scheider and Ann Margaret ;). And there's always time for a cuppa!

Candie Bracci said...

ROFL!!Thanks for that good laugh.
I've seen so many on tv,caught on cctv,so funny.:D

Candie Bracci said...

P.S:I don't eat meat so..lol

Grow Up said...

Amateurs. If you'r going to do it do some research and planning first.

Gledwood said...

Some thieves are famously DUR...

You know in this country they actually have boobytrap cars that tea-leaves can climb into and yet, no matter how hard they try and vandalize a way, will never get out of before the "old bill" arrive...

jackmcmad said...

"Ha . . vegetarians don't get into that much trouble nicking a lettuce!"

That's coz we're so weak with hunger we can't run or climb, in fact some of us can't even get out of bed. Me sooo hungie!

Mrsupole said...

Vegetarians so weak with hunger, am laughing so much.

Thief's stealing meat, gosh if he would of just snaked some food from a garden, he might not of gotten hurt. Maybe in prison he will get some meat.

Oh my, locking yourself in a car you are supposed to be stealing, how the heck do they think they are going to drive the thing.

This was so funny to read about stupid criminals. Sure hope I never become one. I guess that maybe smart criminals don't get caught.

River said...

There's a whole website somewhere dedicated to the stupidity of criminals.

Susan said...

Everyone else has already said what I had to say, so I'll leave it there.

But Baino, thank you for a day where I woke up laughing! It's a great start!

Jay said...

I think police ought to be made to carry cameras so they can capture these idiots in the act, and publish the images - thus humiliating them as they deserve, and giving us a laugh in the process.

I NEED to see those handcuffed bozos in NZ, wrapped around that pole. I can imagine the expressions on their stupid faces, but I'd have paid good money to actually see it!

Jay said...

I meant to add: I do love your Friday Fuckwits series!

Cinnamon said...

Very funny Baino! If the police could get enough footage as Jay suggests it would make a great TV programme!

kj said...

ha! baino. yesterday i got my purse strap caught in one of those newspaper holders, where you put in the coins and open the front and pull out your paper. well i closed the front whateveritis and my purse strap was firmly closed upon. i put in more coins, i shook and rattled, i wondered if i would have to cut my straps and leave them there. don't ask me how i finally got it all undone. divine intervention, probably....

have a good weekend!
:)

Ropi said...

How could he lock himself in? I can't imagine that, didn't you watch Dumb and Dumper by accident?

Brian Miller said...

that's hillarious! locking himself in the car tops the cake for me. He should have used onstar...lol.

Baino said...

Havent' seen it Subby but yep, tea seems to cure all ills! *goes off to boil kettle*

Candie, proves that idiocy is international and perhaps universal!

Quite right GrowUP or perhaps just don't bother.

Not sure what happened here Gleds, I'm suspecting the car wasn't locked and he managed to either activate the child lock or snookered himself with the central locking system.

Jack! You're a veggie too . .god I'm being taken over!

Msupole what are you suggesting! Don't feel to sad for Jack, he's fit enough!

There is? Link me River cos I get most of this stuff from one source.

We aim to please Suze. Despite being in a bit of a malaise this week, always looking on the bright side!

Jay there was a photo of the meat thief, not the sharpest tool in the shed if you catch my drift!

I don't know how they keep a straight face half the time Cinnamon

Oh kj, passer's by probably thought you were trying to rip off a newspaper! Glad you were freed without attracting too much attention. We don't have them here thank God.

Ropi, I have no idea either! Quite a feat eh? Yep, I've seen Dumb and Dumber, seems it happens in real life too! (Don't go licking ski lifts now)

Well Brian, I had to pick on an Aussie idiot this week. I've been giving the Irish and the Yanks a hard time! Just shows we nave nits down under too!

ashleigh said...

ha ha ha!!! You have to wonder...

Kath Lockett said...

Baino, you're tagged, baby!

http://blurbfromtheburbs.blogspot.com/2009/02/blogging-beauty-my-beautiful-kind-dear.html

Bimbimbie said...

LOL got to laugh he must have thought he was really brave picking on Dangerous Dan - nick says it all - where's style gone these days - *?*

i beati said...

hahahahahah

laughingwolf said...

gotta say they're brilliant... not! lol

Quickroute said...

that's what happens when they've had it so good for so long - thieves forget their skills - amatuers!