Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday Fuckwits or Good Vibrations

Friday once more and frankly, this week's gone slower than frozen treacle or a dust cloud oozing over Europe but here we are . . Chardy chillin', music playin', pasta cookin' (love you Adam!) a dozen muscles (of the fishy kind) in the fridge and a bouillabaisse just waiting to be made. In keeping with the blatant sexual inuendo afflicting this blog of late (it's not deliberate, honestly) I bring you a couple of interesting fuckwits that could work together to solve each other's problems:

A woman claims falling from a Wii Fit board turned her into a nymphomaniac.

Amanda Flowers told the Daily Star she now needs up to 10 sex sessions a day after damaging a nerve after falling off her Wii Fit.

She has been diagnosed with persistent genital arousal disorder, a condition which gained global attention when it featured in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy in 2008.

Ms Flowers, who lives in Manchester, said the urge to have sex was irresistible.

She said small vibrations from her mobile phone or food processor were enough to turn her on.

"It began as a twinge down below, before surging through my body," Ms Flowers told the Daily Star.

"Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm."

The single Ms Flowers said all she could do was try to control it with deep breathing, or "find a superstud who can satisfy me".


Now if Ms Flowers met this lady, they might be able to come up with a compromise:

Police buzz in to solve vibrator mystery

A WOMAN phoned police after hearing "suspicious noises" in her flat, but much to her embarrassment officers found the source was a vibrator, authorities say.

The noise was so loud and strange, even over the telephone, that police in Bochum in western Germany decided to send a patrol car around to the "scene of the crime", a statement said.

"Daringly, and with the occupier's permission, one of the officers opened the drawer of a wardrobe where the noise was coming from.

"Underneath some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated object which had obviously switched itself on... The tenant's face abruptly changed colour."

Police then "wished her a nice evening and left".




Excuse me, I'm off to buy a Wii or a battery operated device . . . .have a wonderful weekend! Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . . . then maybe I'll just find a coin operated boy!



27 comments:

i beati said...

hilarity ensues- grab that weekend and have a blast !!sandy

Sarah Lulu said...

Oh dear that has made my friday night hahaha ...that first video with the little boy ...had me in hysterics!

Obviously I need the real thing ...

Are you listening God?

Kate said...

oh thank you Helen - I needed that laugh!!! Enjoy your weekend!

Brian Miller said...

haha. ok, so buying a wii this weekend...ahem...bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....have a marvelous one yourself baino!

laughingwolf said...

so, what's wrong with a glad hand? :O lol

Ropi said...

Interesting. I feel old fashioned because I had to check in Google what Wii fit is. :P

nick said...

I think it would be better to keep them well apart. If the first woman had a vibrator on top of her existing hyper-sensitivity she'd soon die of exhaustion....

Kathy G said...

Thanks for including the video for one of my favorite songs. Great way to start the day!

Roy said...

Hmmmm... I wonder if they'll have to add a warning on the Wii Fit box now? Heh, heh!

I never heard of the Dresden Dolls; I'll have to check them out.

California Girl said...

Oh Helen Helen Helen...you really know how to find the good stuff. I thought the first item was funny til I saw the second. bawhahahha!!

word ver: intent (should have been "intense"

ebony said...

I CANT BELIEVE THAT WAS AN IKEA ADVERT!!!!!!! Lol. Where do you find these news?

Talking about news.... I find it really hilarious (in a sympathizing way) that the whole of Europe is stuck right now. Maybe it's just an evil masterplan made by the trains and ships because plains get too much attention...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiaNFcMSbmA

Have a nice weekend!! :)

Grannymar said...

:lol: That is all!

Tom said...

oh, ha! If you were in a funk, i think you've crawled out, 'cause that was classic Baino stuff! thx for the DD's vid, have only listened to 'yes virginia' so that was new to me. Great weekend...rainy today, but hopefully clear sat & Sun!

Darlene said...

I'm not going there on the vibrator story or the Wii one.

But the little boy was a hoot!

K8 the Gr8 said...

And the Wiimotes vibrate during some games which is handy... that's gaming at its best. High fives Nintendo!

jay said...

Haaha! I've seen the ad with the toddler before - it's so funny! LOL! Love the Dresdon Dolls vid. I'll have to see what else they've done.

And mmm. I've often thought about getting a WiFit. Food for thought. ROFL!

Ronda Laveen said...

The Wonder Husband said to go buy a Wii Fit right now! Thanks for starting my weekend off with a great big belly laugh.

Pam said...

Haven't seen the video or the Dresden Dolls before. Funny post Helen - what a laugh!!!Happy weekend!

Janice said...

You did it again...two great Friday Fuckwits. Loved the videos, as well.

e said...

I'm in tears from laughing so hard...

Happy Weekend and don't forget the batteries!

River said...

Oh, I'm staying right away from this one.

tony said...

"persistent genital arousal disorder"LOL! That Would Look Sooooo Cool if I took it into Work on a Sick-Note!

kj said...

to think i might have gone to bed without seeing this.

well, 'seeing' is not really the right word.

actually, i am doubled over and i'm not saying why.

hells, you are MUCH TOO MUCH and it's all good.

i swear, the word verf is 'swelia' and doesn't that sound like a sensitive sensual part of the body?

lettuce said...

those swedes, eh?

she has very funky eyebrows

:-D

steph said...

Thanks for tickling my fancy! LOL

blackwatertown said...

Good videos.
And yes! Check out those eyebrows!

Megan said...

Oh my.