I've done bugger-all this weekend beyond the usual cleaning and washing stuff. Well, prepared a short story for competition submission, caught up on a few blogs, took my dawg for a walk, fed the horses and sploshed copious amounts of chemicals in my now clean pool, edited some photos and IM'd with my sweet friend Tom at Half Moose With A Twist and my 'second son' in Ireland. Nice as it was, all a bit of an anti-climax compared to last weekend's wedding shenannigins but a welcome relief.
Watched "Ghost Writer" not bad, then I have a mighty crush on Ewan McGreggor. Then Nick Cage in "The Sorcerer's Apprentice," not to be mistaken for the Disney classic cartoon. Lots of explosions and effects but generally a yawn and my 'mostly online friend has secured work at the LA "So You Think You Can Dance" Auditions for the next few days, so that he can afford a big bottle of Chanel No. 5, so no time-wasting on Skype.
What's a girl to do? Meh! Just take the dog and the camera for a spin. Since I have no cash, I went to meet the other Merry Widow at the Castle Hill Grower's Market on Saturday morning at some un-Godly hour but had a coffee, a chat, and took the Lilster for a little walky-poo, (of course that's a real word) around the showground. No possums, roos or hot, hot men. Just a cock or two, er, I mean Cockatoo.
Just one, high in a sawn-off branch. Unusual because they're usually in flocks
Now, how to get into said hollow branch
Check the circumference, measure against diameter
Perfect, backwards entry successful
Amazes me how something so colourful can be so hard to spot - then they're noisy as hell
Rainbow Lorikeet sucking up some Red Flowering Gum delicousness
Look at his likkle footsies
Acrobats all, when it comes to nectar
Lily living in my shadow- oops bit over exposed that one.
You know, there are some things which do not deserve compromise. Sure, in a relationship there has to be give and take. At a wedding reception, you get the fish, he gets the lamb, you can swap. Christmas? Sometimes you have to go to his family first. Even when your kid's behind in his board because the bike payment's due, hey we can waive it. But there are two things which I will never compromise . . . soft toilet paper . . .good perfume.
I know, I know, in my current precarious financial state, these are probably two of the last things I should be thinking about but hey . . I can make a million meals with mince and I'm a dab hand with eggy thingies. Veggies are cheap. Wine is currently being paid for by a gift card presented by my previous employer. But that which wipes the area from which only sunshine emanates . . . must be soft Quilton Triple length which apparently provides 'the gift of time, soft and pillowy' Well not sure about that but it makes the toilet smell nice and saves me from rescuing dozens of toilet roll holders from the loo windowsill (because my son thinks that's where the empties should be stacked rather than the small bin beside the toilet).
Perfume? I blame my mother. The first I remember was Elizabeth Arden's Blue Grass. I guess it was 'her' smell. Cheap enough but she bought it for me as a tween. Then, my Nana who was given a 150ml bottle of Chanel No 5 Eau de Parfum. Get that! Almost full strength and 150 mls of the nectar. I was in my early 20's and went ballistic when she said, "Oh you have it, someone gave it to me and I never wear it." (She was an Estee Lauder Youth Dew freak - yuk). At that moment, there was a God. It worked with the romance at that time too. But enough said about that.
Sadly, Chanel is way too expensive and I still use the bottle I bought in Paris very sparingly. Thanks Clare Bear. It is the perfect pong.
So I dabbled in a little Thierry Mugler Angel, (well until I found out that it might kill me - Yar!), Yves Saint Laurent, La Rive Gauche and Lancome's Magic Noir even Giorgio Armani's Aqua de Gio was quite nice but in recent years, because it's affordable at $75 for 150mls, Calvin Klein. Which Calvin Klein? Not fussed really. My favourite? Eternity. Second off the rank probably Euphoria. But if you really want to turn me on, or him for that matter (I can vouch for it's efficaciousness) . . still Chanel No. 5. As the lovely Madame Chanel said herself: "A perfume like nothing else. A woman’s perfume, with the scent of a woman."Sexy, non?
You paying attention Jeffscape? Bring it on and I'll find you a Gippsland worm. (Don't ask!)
Another week gone by already? I've been working in a Mortgage Broker's office setting up his Financial Planning business this week and hopefully will be able to spin the job out for four or five weeks but seriously? I could nail it in two so going slow is a bit difficult for me. It's a lovely job, really nice friendly people and only 20 minutes from home. Shame it's just a one-off but hey, it'll help pay the rent for the next month or so.
My Mother In Law is now at home, still a little uncomfortable nd short of breath but hopefully on the mend after heart surgery. A few too many visitors last night so we'll leave her to settle in for a few days before springing up there to see how she's going. She looked wonderful when I saw her last Tuesday but had to stay in a little longer due to palpitations which have now settled. Thank you to those of you who asked about her welfare.
Since, I'm using the Boss wife's laptop, I haven't had much time to search for a fuckwit but this darling needs no words to accompany it. I just thought it was funny.
Avagoodweekend everyone. No Weddings or excitement this weekend, hopefully some rain and a little couch potato honing. Oh, and a lot of job applications. Wish me luck.
My nephew was married on the 4th March at our place and it was lovely. I know everyone says that but my brother spared no expense and this was an al fresco wedding of grand proportions from the huge marquee to tea lights on the pool, lanterns in the trees and rose petals along the aisle. Chef's buzzed hurriedly for two days preparing, gravlax, mushroom and goat's cheese pastries, lamb cutlets and barramundi fillets. There are dozens of bottles of wine and champagne left over and everything was just perfect.
For the first time in a long time our entire family was together with the exception of our errant brother who I'm sure was invited but . . . The settings were gorgeous, the bride looked beautiful, the groom didn't show his nerves and everyone behaved despite the whole shindig not winding up until 3am when finally, the MIL demanded music be turned down (by which time I was long in bed and couldn't hear a thing).
Highlights?
Laurie deciding to do a poo in the background during the ceremony
The tea light candles getting stuck in the corners of the pool due to the breeze
Me gamming my knee dancing like a teen when I should know better
Rebecca (the groom's sister) giving by far the most heartfelt speech
The food - awesome!
The chef's (two of them) eye candy all over
My Sister In Law giving the bride away (since her father is in England)
Adam managing to get the bloody pool sparkling just in time
Brownie swan diving into the front seat of a ute and not moving for six hours - priceless
Seriously, it was a gorgeous day, the weather was perfect and everything went according to plan. The happy couple are now in England having another wedding before heading off to Thailand for a proper honeymoon. Congratulations James and Jessica, it was indeed a night to remember. Just enough breathing time before the next one in July.
The Marquee went up around a green pool
The crowd waited in anticipation
Nervous Groom but he didn't show it
Beautiful bride and her Mother In Law to be
Sister, Cousin, Sister
Lighting a candle was a little trixy
Sealed with a kiss
Off in a Hummer for photographs, no it wasn't pink
And not in a good way. For the second time in as many weeks a phishing spoofer has attacked my Gmail account and sent you lovely people in my address book unpleasant emails. I've been locked out of my account for 24 hours twice so please accept my apologies.
Account names have been changed, complex passwords employed, settings set to https:// and security updated including a new phishing filter that unfortunately, doesn't do much for internet based spammers. My apologies to those who think that I'm assaulting your sexual prowess. It has nothing to do with me and I've made the necessary complaints to Google reporting the spammer and providing their link. If you get an email from me, please, don't open it. If it happens again, I'll have to enact a new gmail account and hope they can't find me.
River, I'm sorry but since I'm locked out, I can't respond to your email. I didn't send it. The only emails you'll receive from me will be in response to blog comments or clearly marked as legit from now on.
You know the movie "Fight Club"? One of my absolute favourites but the first rule of Fight Club, is "You never talk about Fight Club." Same with "Wine Club", so I'll show you then that means I'm not 'talking' about it.
I'm sure there were more than three bottles . . the 23 was delish
My daughter can cook when the mood takes her. Home made chicken satay and spinach salad with sugar glazed walnuts and parmisan - it was awesome
Clearly you have to discuss the merits of Merlot, the suavity of Shiraz and the candour of Cabernet
Sniff it, swill it but never spit . . . always swallow
OK . . .get this one into you son
Today, I went with the lovers to a Wedding Expo at our local Entertainment Centre. Not for any particular reason other than I've never been to one. Interesting. Well. Amazing in terms of what things cost. I wouldn't know because my two lovers are planning and paying for their own wedding. I feel guilty about not being able to put on a Royal bash but they want control and given current circumstances aren't interested in being subsidised. I'm still overwhelmed by the cost of things from flowers to cars. I'm even more overwhelmed by the potential crassness of weddingy things from pink Hummer limousines to having your bouquet 'framed' for posterity. Aren't you supposed to chuck it to some hapless spinster?
Apparently the 'average' wedding costs about $15,000 . . . A guy at work recently had a $200,000 wedding thanks to wealthy in laws. Are you serious? Anyway, here are a few happy snaps. I wasn't allowed to photograph the fashion parade which is a good thing because it was full of women impersonating pavlovas. All they lacked was the passionfruit and strawbs on top. I think Adam enjoyed the lingerie set though.
You can get a fake Californian cop to escort your wedding party and 'arrest' a designated guest . . .er why?
Horrible, all of them, just horrible
Hmm . . so you haven't bought the rings yet?
You know you're kid is going to dye it blue and wear to Medieval day at school?
Not feeling very fuckwittery this week since I lost my job on Wednesday. Poor profits, non revenue raising member of the workforce. Yep dream job is down the toilet but hey, I get to go in Monday and eat cake and get presented with a pen. Awesome. A post on how to be made redundant 4 times is pending. No I'm not a hopeless case, I am extremely employable I just have bad luck. KJ read those cards and soon . . .
A gang in Ireland on Monday and forced him to eat part of his own ear, police say. The man, 21, is recovering in hospital. The attack occurred in Newbridge. Police said the gang dragged the man down a lane and beat him with a hammer and a metal bar. The suspects cut off part of the man's ear and forced him to eat it, police said. He also suffered injuries to his head, jaw and leg. No arrests have been made.
Er hello? No arrests? Only in Ireland.
Have a good weekend everyone. Thank God for Wine Club and no, can't talk about Wine Club. I will survive.
It hardly seems a year since we were there but the 2011 Tropfest Finalists strutted their stuff at the Domain in Sydney last night. Whilst I was very embarrassed about the way the presenters put the finalists forward, the 16 short films were indeed entertaining. Australians have such a relaxed attitude that frankly the commentary bordered on amateur. Still, there's nothing nicer than sitting on green grass, champagne, smoked trout dip and pate with rye on a warm summer night with bats flying overhead and movies playing free on the 'could be a bit bigger' multi screen:
Domain Carpark moving walkway - $25 to park when it's normally $10 after hours frooooaar
The walkway walls are muralled to make us invaders feel guilty
Used to be held at the Tropicana Hotel but now it's just too damn big
Plastic bag man ensures we take our rubbish away with us
Camera men dodging fruit bats
Beautiful women
Questionably dressed men
Oh no, some beautiful men
Some hersuite men
Scantily clad picnickers
A very little chanpagne
Happy Campers
And the winner is:
but the one I liked best was:
You can see all the entries/submissions at hhttp://www.youtube.com/user/TROPFEST
Now I'm pretty sure if someone had stabbed me in the jaw, broken the damaging implement and a blade stuck in my brain I'd seek a little more help than Panadol.
Updated: Thursday, 17 Feb 2011, 11:29 AM EST
Published : Thursday, 17 Feb 2011, 11:28 AM EST
YUNNAN, China (CNN/CCTV) - Doctors in China have recently succeeded in taking a 10 cm. dagger blade from the head of a man who had been suffering from an unknown headache for more than four years. Mr. Ni came to the hospital seeking treatment of what he suspected of aural disease. After careful examination, doctors found a metal blade in his head. "We checked his mouth, but no wound or scar has been found. It is very strange as to how the blade got into his head," said Xu Wen, deputy director of the stomatology department of the People's Hospital in Yuxi city. It turned out that Mr. Ni was stabbed in the lower right jaw when fighting with a robber four years ago. After that, he had suffered frequent headaches of unknown causes. His mouth would bleed and it felt difficult to swallow food. His voice also became hoarse and he spoke gibberish. But he had had hospital examinations on several occasions and no cause of the symptoms was found. "As time goes on, I used injections to kill pains in head and ears," said Mr. Ni. Doctors were able to remove the blade. Fortunately, the blade did not touch the brain artery and important facial nerves and that has kept him alive. Mr. Ni is now receiving recuperating treatment in the hospital.
So many fuckwits, so little time. Have a wonderful weekend folks. Dinner with friends tonight, massive garden clean up tomorrow and hopefully it'll stay dry for Tropfest on Sunday. Now . . where's that chardy. Where's your head at?
I haven't much time tonight, it's "Wine Club" but I'm not supposed to talk about "Wine Club" but I've just heard that my wonderful Mother In Law has been admitted to hospital with Angina and heart complications. Just the right side of 80 she is amazing. Fit . . still plays Tennis every week and goes to aerobics and Zumba would you believe but has been suffering pain for a few days. They shipped her off to Brisbane Waters Private Hospital on the Central Coast of NSW and next week she'll be flown (I guess) down to Sydney's North Shore Private for a double bypass operation. I can't believe it's her frankly. The Groovy Grannies as she and husband Arthur are known, are fastidious about their diet and exercise but the old arteries are clogging up and she needs the operation.
Good luck to you my darling. In one way, I'm really glad that you're coming to Sydney for the operation, I worry about those regional hospitals although I'm sure I need not. Her surgeon is good, her family are around and we just hope that this sorts her Angina and that she recovers to Zumba another day.
