Christmas is Coming Whether You Like it Or Not So Thinking Caps on Please!

Right, what good are bloggy friends if not for offering suggestions and advice. OK some are silly and some are banal and I'm expecting little useful from my lot of comedic commentators but next weekend, is the only weekend I have free to complete my Christmas shopping. If I was as creative as Ces, I'd give them a drawing. Or if I had a penchant for photography a framed print. Or capable of writing a decent yarn, a bound manuscript. If I'd been to kj's Yart Sale, I'd have probably picked up a few original gems or had JD's penchant for photography a few framed prints.

I know, I know, it's early but then the problem is also compounded by two badly planned birthdays, Clare's on the 4th December and Adam's on the 11th. Traditionally, they've had decent birthday gifts and a load of rubbish for Christmas. Then we have early Christmas at the Groovy Grannies before our more traditional Christmas Day celebrations. That's every weekend in December occupied.

So here's a quick precis of the people in my life and I want your suggestions for an appropriate gift. I have the younglings covered. It's the oldies that cause me grief!

Babybro: sports freak, new to the Wii and PS3, dapper but casual dresser, likes novelties and fun stuff, keen red wine buff, music DVD fan and an habitual buyer of things in the Innovations Catalogue that rarely work. 2 years ago he bought me tickets to the Cricket (that went down like a lead balloon so I told him to ask a friend in my stead and didn't go but received no replacement). One year ago, a nice base for a large pool umbrella which didn't fit and was returned but never replaced . . .

Stressany: Petite, sporty, loves a chardy or a Merlot. Sudoku nut, bookworm, totally stressed by full time work even though she does little else (Pete's the domestic type). Likes her pampering, spas, weekends away, theatre and sports events. Needs slippers rather than the ugg boots that are drying on the windowsill but wouldn't thank me for a 'domestic' or practical gift.

Babysis: very materialistic, loves things. Nice linen, crockery, platters, jewellery, quirky ornaments (the rusty bronze garden doggy thing with a bobbly head went down well). Candles, fragrance, earrings . . If I bought her a Ba mix or a Kitchen Maid it would go rusty before being used. She loves surprises although cannot resist the urge to peek.

The Plumber: every year he asks for a pair of Havaianas and some Dunlop Volleys or an unusual tree . . .no clothes horse, family man, keen gardener, low level gamer, DVD watcher . . he usually gets his thongs and a T Shirt or a rain gauge but I want something different this year. He was very impressed with an electronic pepper grinder . . any clues?

Groovey Granny: 75, goes to Senior Citz exercise classes. They travel locally, picnic, enjoy their Sunday drinky poos and are well equipped with folding chairs, beach umbrellas eskies and all things outdoorsy. She plays tennis, cooks healthy food, likes her little knick-knacks from the little solid gold cat sitting on a silver chair to Swarsovski swans and picture frames. She's sea-sidey but slightly 'frilly'. Wouldn't go a week without her New Idea . . or Women's Weekly which is odd because it's now a periodical and published monthly.

Spunky Art: my father in law. Also plays tennis, is the ultimate barbecue guru. Slightly wizened but very active (last year I bought him nose hair trimmers by request - I never thought of implements of torture as an appropriate Christmas gift but Groovy Gran was happy that his ear and nasal hair was now controllable). He's the sort of man that if you bought a wallet it would go in the top drawer because he likes his soft bum moulded old one. He's deaf so movies hold little joy but he does like the odd 'nature' DVD (no not that sort . . the David Attenborough sort!)

Angela: My sister in law. She's a beautician. Not a bimbo. Picture perfect and no stranger to giving the odd Brasllian wax. She's beautifully 'turned out' as we horsey people say. Manicured, trimmed, classic. A redhead with a penchant for putting herself together. She likes the high life but can't really afford it. She's quiet, sweet and I see her once a year. No hobbies to speak of but crafty and impeccable taste.

GB: Ray's brother only bigger, louder. Plays golf. Sells real estate. Likes brand clothing and always buys the 'ladies' in the family a bottle of Moet and Chandon for Christmas, a tradition he can ill afford but cannot give up. Likes his food, wine, gadgets but is a technophobe. He's generous but not really 'connected' to us. Something humorous would do him well.

So thinking caps people! Next weekend is it so sagitate and prognosticate all you want but gimme some clues before Friday! I'm also open to T Shirts with inappropriate slogans so share please! We've already done "James Blunt Must Die" and "I'm With the Drummer" and "Drummer: someone in a band that isn't s roadie" and "I'm not Immature You Great Big Poopie Head".

As for the kids! I was going to buy Guitar Hero World Tour as a joint birthday present for Adam and Clare but Mr Impatient decided it HAD to be purchased for last weekend's parentless shenanigans despite his past employer now holding out on paying him for his last week's work . . .right he's now getting a Bridge Climb whether he wants it or not! Oh and the only casualties were my wall clock, smashed after an enthusiastic closing of curtains and my Bodum glass coffee plunger . . .the Fringelet thought it was adhered to the frame . . .God life will be interesting when they move out together!