Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Joyfully Awesome

For Gaye

Last night, I came home and burst into tears. I lost the plot at the wrong person, had a moment of sheer desperation and the word 'low' didn't cut it. My heart was in my throat, I didn't feel like eating I just felt awful. Today, things seem a little better and despite three of these, all for jobs to which I'm well suited:
Thank you for your application for the position of Office/Administration Manager. We have received a large number of applications for the advertised role and all have been of an excellent calibre. Factors were considered when reviewing your resume and unfortunately, I regret to advise that you have been unsuccessful in your application.

I also had an interview with a company very close by, young, dynamic, go-getters! They seemed fun and within minutes of arriving home a psychometric test was waiting and asking me questions about how I felt about the 'open jail system' among other bizarre things. Where they get 'em from I don't know but I already know the result because I've been tested about 5 times and it's always the same. It's always exactly as I am. However as I am, is not always exactly what 'they' want. Are they ready for a 52 year old in age denial with a penchant for alternative rock?

Frankly, my downness was lifted by a link from Ribbon to this site . . nothing remarkable, just a young woman who has the temerity to call her blog "Welcome to the Joy Rebellion" now that can't be bad? She has decided to post a 'mission' each Monday, a mission to enhance joy and self-worth. An affirmative emotional action. I think it's time my wallowing ended. I have to realise that I'm not going to be paid what I was at Parkside until I prove my worth. I have to realise that to others, I look old and may be less competent, I have to prove to others that I am flexible and adaptable, competent and hard-working and fun to be around. Here's hoping that practice makes perfect!

So after relishing in the new positivity of the Joy Rebellion I have the courage to do Candie's "Awesomeness" meme. It's difficult to think of yourself as awesome - It does go with a 'Queen' of Awesomeness tag but I thought that might offend the blokes so pick it up in the sidebar if you're really keen:

Here are the rules:

List 7 things that make you awesome
Pass the award to 7 bloggers that you love (sorry I just can't pick 7 even if some of you top the awesome list)
Tag those bloggers to let them know and tag back to the blogger who tagged you so I can have a perve.

I am an awesome mother. Don't know how that happened but I've managed to balance 'ma authoritay' with a sense of fun and friendship and now have two pretty amazing friends who love and respect me, are well mannered, (if not a little messy) and who contribute to the running of our little commune more than your average progeny, and are not ashamed to be seen out in public with me (except when I talk too loud and glower at check-out chicks). And despite absolutely having a Mt St Helen's mega-erupting-narny-tanty at one of them last night for being a messy disorganised bogun, by and large our cohabitation is an awesome thing. In fact this afternoon at an interview I was asked, "What is are your greatest personal achievements . ." and frankly I don't have any other than surviving the death of my husband and raising my children, however, raising two human beings, single handedly, who are compassionate, caring, responsible and loving . .doesn't seem that spectacular to a 30 year old Director of an internet security company but believe me . . it's truly Awesome.

I am awesome at smashing shit. As I type, I have three band aids on three fingers after letting not one but two laksa bowls slip through them whilst washing up last night. If it can be broken, smashed to smitherines or chipped on a tap . . I'm your girl! And you've already heard abut the chutney jar! Maybe I should look for a position in a glass recycling plant on their crushing machine.

I am an awesome cook. Well when I get my act into gear. Normally it's spag bol or pan fried something or other but if I'm entertaining, I can whip up a Beef Carpaccio on warm baby leaf salad with horseradish cream, bung on a gourmet barbie or something simple but 'legendary' (not my word) Lasagne. . .Christmas is a gourmet delight with a degustation menu to die for. Come over for dinner and I'll show off.

I am an awesome host. You visit me and I will show you the sights and sounds of Sydney and her environs, entertain you, ply you with alcohol, laugh, relax and generally show you a good time so if you're heading down under, let me know. I love company, I love entertaining and I love showing off my wonderful country albeit a tiny piece of the larger puzzle.

I'm not sure I agree, but Adam says I am awesome at detail. Not in the academic, workplace sense but fastidious about manners, cleanliness, tidiness. I love beautiful simple things and sometimes its the little details that shine. That vase of lillies on the counter (well they would be there if I hadn't broken the vase). The basket of perfumes in the bathroom, plumped cushions, delicious crisp clean linen . . . just the little details that make a difference. I'd be more awesome if other people didn't keep putting the kybosh on my anal retentiveness.

I am awesome at listening to the problems and woes of others and making them feel better about themselves. I don't mind it. I always wanted to be a Social Worker but didn't make the cut at Uni and so never took that path. But I'd be a good counsellor, empathy comes naturally to me and I have a deep caring about people and their circumstances. I'm genuinely interested in people and listen to what they have to say. The best friend of an acquaintance once asked "How do youknow so much about my closest friend?" - Simple, I listened, I enquired, I was interested in what she had to say. That acquaintance is now one of my most treasured friends and I still listen. Weird, because sometimes I'd like someone else to listen to me moan but I can't bring myself to do it anywhere other than my 'secret blog'.

I am awesomely adaptable to change. My life has been full of it, good and bad and the latest change has seen me lob into deep depression. I'm not one to seek help but last night, I actually considered it until I realised there was a significant financial cost so self-help it will have to be and relying on the generosity of others. Lately I've had to really work on being positive and optimistic and many of you have come to my rescue by emailing and keeping my spirits up. Thank you. I cope well with change, I manage it, embrace it and give it all I've got. In fact now I'm itching for it . .a big change . . soon! Damn that scratchie . .$5 is better than a poke in the back with a pork sword . . well you know what I mean . .
There . . not mind boggling but it's difficult to recognise the awesomeness in yourself.

I'm supposed to tag others but there are so many who I deem awesome and I don't really like publicly singling people out, so please . . take it and run with it . . I know you're awesome so share it with others!

And speedy recovery to my friend Steph from the Biopsy Report who's having a shit of a time fighting Irish bacteria . . . miss you my love and please get well soon.

32 comments:

Ribbon said...

Beautiful Baino... you are awesome!!!
I rely on your awesomeness here in blogland.
A big cuddle for you and try and focus on what you want rather than what you don't want.
Hope that makes some sense... give it a go.

much love
Ribbon x

The Jelly Monster said...

I agree with Ribbon you are awesome!

Jill said...

Baino...despite your LOW...you managed to pull off the HIGH.

The elephant photo just HAS to make me smile. PURE JOY. This: "Mt St Helen's mega-erupting-narny-tanty" also made me smile...I have one of those here and there and never had such a PERFECT word to describe it!

nick said...

Hey, a pretty good bit of self-promotion! And from what I know of you, all completely true! You have so many talents, a shame the outside world is not properly appreciative. But it looks like your current employer is starting to value your skills. Hope that leads to bigger and better things (and a mega pay-rise!)

subtorp77 said...

Baino you're awesome! The problem with some of these corporations, is that they want to continue to project an "air of youth". It sucks, I know( and so does Mum )If it were me, I'd rather have the someone with the hard experience, rather than a "wet in the nappy", right out of school. Here in the States we call it "age discirmination". It's illegal but companies and gov't continue to get away with it. Wot's the bloody sense of havin' to train kids when there's someone ready to go?

Like you, I've had to start over and it was pure hell. And I'd let you smash some of my things but...or you can go find that twit with the Swift car-LOL!

steph said...

Hello awesome friend!

Put simply. You DO NOT deserve the shit that comes your way. If it helps, I for one appreciate everything that I've come to learn about you. The 'others' don't know what they're missing!

I've just procured an ancient laptop which I now have at my bedside in the hospital. It's heaven to be in contact with outside world again!

It looks like I'm here for the long haul but at least the pain has settled and life is beginning to look up again.

They can take away my freedom but they can't silence me!

Love 'n hugs...Steph

California Girl said...

That is a great exercise. If I didn't have to leave right now for work I'd do it. It isn't easy to praise yourself. If it were, we'd have less psychiatrists running around. Of course, there are those, like Donald Trump, who over praise themselves. They could use a bit toning down. Most of us are great at the critical so this is awesome.

Nice job Baino.

Candie Bracci said...

YOU ARE AWESOME BAINO!JUST AWESOME AND...THEIR LOSS!!!!!

laughingwolf said...

farkin faaaaaaaaaaar out, as john denver useta say :)

next time they give you one of those goofy tests, just have fun with it and tick off things randomly rather than what you would do as a 'responsible' adult... can't get any worse than previous results, you're done a lot faster, and can enjoy the rest of your day with no worries ;)

Colette Amelia said...

That was awesome!

Just keep those rejection letters in the mindset that although you are very capable and could do the job...one person who was interviewed was a better fit for the position.

And that is good for you want a good fit in the place where you are going to spend so much time and energy.

Job hunting sucks though.

And these days most don't even send out the sorry we found someone else letter...or a phone call!

I will let you know I am coming down under for sure!!! I do dishes!

Brian Miller said...

while it has been said...you are awesome! just for the things you picked...hope they put a smile on your face after the day it sounds like you had. are you sure those bowls slipped...smiles.

those psych tests are junk...and deserve a good smashing...

Baino said...

I think I may have turned a corner Ribbon, it's becoming water off a duck's back now. I just apply for everything.

Thanks Jelly belly

Ha! Jill I don't have a wobbly too often but when I do, it's a good one! We're all a bit work stressed around here at the moment. It'll pass.

Nick it's hard to promote yourself. Maybe all the interviewing and bullshit is helping! If I think I'm fantastic, maybe a future employer will too!

Subby I'll never know if it's my age or not. It's illegal to discriminate here as well but it happens. Same with the public service. They HAVE to advertise jobs publicly but 9 times out of 10 there's already someone acting in the position so it's just a 'show'. I just wish they'd be straight and I'd save a lot of time doing the applications. From now on, I'm only applying for 'new' or vacant positions

Hi Steph, so glad you're connected. I'll write you some drivel to make the hospital stay a little less boring. Get well my friend!

Cali, you sound like me, a little pressed for time. Give it a go, it makes you think about the positives which we so often neglect

Aww Candie poppet. You're pretty neat yerself.

Wuffa, they all come out the same, "Great with people, creative, cooperative, shit with numbers" I could have saved them some money and told them that!

Collette, I just want to know who's getting these jobs. I had one recruiter tell me that despite the stipulations in the advertisement, they wante someone with little experience so they cold mold them.

Cheers Brian

GayƩ Terzioglu said...

A big thank you and a big hug for the :)

Gx

Jay said...

"raising two human beings, single handedly, who are compassionate, caring, responsible and loving . "

That's certainly a majorly awesome achievement, and don't let some 30-year-old stripling tell you otherwise!

otin said...

I love your awesome list! Makes me want to come over for dinner!

Marianna said...

You are an...awesome person!! I'm happy to have found your blog :)

Stay the way you are and keep trying for the best! The next best thing is waiting for you in the corner (who knows maybe you've found it already:)

xoxo

Paddy Bloggit said...

Baino ..... from the little I know about you ... you are totally awesome and it's a great privilege to know you.

Baino + awesome =

Bawsome .... you'r bawsome to me Baino!

:-)

Brandi said...

can I have dinner at your place?? OMG-so awesome! I am so sorry for the work troubles but please know that WHO you are is wonderful. :-)

Ronda Laveen said...

Those are truly 7 awesome things about you. To bad the 30 year old director of security doesn't know squat about management. He doesn't realize that the qualities it takes to raise a family well are the same ones that make a great manager. Employees are just like kids only they have to mind.

Loved your list and keep your dauber up!

Renee said...

Baino you are amazing. You are wonderful. You are clever. You are an amazing mother. You Baino are amazing.

I also went to the Joy Rebellion after reading Ribbon's blog isn't that just a brilliant idea for a blog. I haven't looked at it quite yet, but I'm planning on it.

Baino I think that you are a very strong woman. Incredible really and your strength comes right off the page.

You can do anything and you will.

Love Renee xoxoxo

kj said...

baino, i'm too tired to respond now but i will. for now i have two things to say, firmly:

1. i love the way you think
2. i love you.

there. i'll be back.

xo
kj

Megan said...

Well, I think you deserve any and all awards that are going, always.

So lucky for me to have found your blog - will have to go thank Paddy Wherever He Is Now for that.

And you can bet your pad is my first port of call when I touch down in Sydney. Someday!!!!

Hugs from L.A. to you, Awesome Blossom!

i beati said...

I AMLOST i THOUGHT YOU WERE WORKING..TEMP??aNYHOW LOVED THE LIST GOING TO DO IT ..SK

i beati said...

I love smashing shit. I break all good dishes etc.

Bimbimbie said...

Tsup*!*Tsup*!* Sometimes you just need to let it all out, the famous THEY say it's healthier for us... so just consider you gave your immune system a boost*!*

Bimbimbie said...

... forgot to say I love the joyele ;)

Baino said...

Hi Gaye, good to see you smile a little!

Well Jay, I'm pretty happy about it

Otin any time . . once you get over your fear of flying! The fishing's damn good here I believe.

I just need a little patience Marianna.

Aww Paddy, you're very sweet, thank you.

Brandi, thanks for the Monday Mission, keep it up! Joyful is something I need to focus on.

Renee, you don't need any more joy. You're an inspiration.

Thanks kj. Too tired? All that cycling plum tuckering you out eh!

Haha . . well Paddy and I have been going through similar job distress! Kindred spirits. And you and Offspring are welcome any time.

Yeh Beati, just a 4-6 week contract but they think I'm a star so it's good for Agency confidence in me.

Tsup*!* Bimbimbie. Yeh, well . . only way is up I guess! You're little treasure yourself, you know that?

Christopher said...

Baino, I just have to add my voice to the chorus stating your awesomeness. Limiting yourself to just seven things that make you awesome isn't fair--there are so many more than that.

Grannymar said...

My finger is sore scrolling down the miles of comments. I would only do it for somebody awesome!

Bringing up a child single handed is no easy task and you did it twice! How many of the little squirts behind the desks at interviews have done or will ever do it????

e said...

Baino,

You rock and so does this post! Your outlook and humour, kindness and wit make this blog a wonderful place to visit, even when you're down. I hope things continue looking up!

Mrsupole said...

You know you are most awesome in my books, but have you thought of just being a tour guide as a side job, or actually some kind of job where you have to listen to people, I think maybe a counseling job where you do not need a degree, and if they ever ask what is the best thing about you, just tell them your ability to adapt and change with each situation, so as to make sure that the job gets done. I think that is a really good answer and they would probably like that.

I think you need to put a list of jobs available out there that you think might not be the ones for you and list the requirements and then let us see how we think you would do. I wonder if we would think a job is great for you that you are just not seeing as an opportunity. More eyes, sometimes help. And you take the best pictures. Have you thought of photography for tourist books, I think that is what Liza has started doing as a business, she has gotten some photographs published and then is also photographing for some other ways to earn money.

I was watching a show and they said that you have to find out what there is a "Need" for that is not being met and then go for it. They say that is how these businesses get started. Just start tossing ideas at us and we will let you know with you know our oh so brainfilled minds working here. I do think that if you could figure out a business to do on your own, that would be the better route to take, because you don't give a damn how old you are. You know you are a smart, beautiful, intelligent, experienced woman and those idiots need a brain check. We just got to really do some brain storming here with you. I will try and think. You know you are totally awesome.

God bless. And I keep praying for you.

Kath Lockett said...

Awesome you certainly are, with an A++++ for emphasis.

....the German backpacker who went on the Red Centre tour with us (Love Chunks, 41, me, 40) said, "This is the oldest tour group I've been on." Oh.