OK a complete change of pace because Sunday's post caused such a rucous. Thank you again for your very honest perspectives.
Renee is doing OK. She's still worried and there is a hard road ahead.
Now it's all about me. And a quiz for you my poppets.
Every time I apply for a job on www.seek.com.au, and if it's through an Agency, the rule is that you need to meet with the agency rep before they put your CV forward to the client. Now for the past 3 Tuesdays and with great thanks to my current boss who understands the need, I have had to traipse into the city (about a 1 hour bus ride) and meet with various recruitment consultants. Happily the city consultants are more 'mature' than their local counterparts, who are barely out of nappies. So today, I met with three (killing birds - one stone). But honestly, some of the questions floor me so I want your answers to the following. Try to think about a 52 year old woman with credit card debt to die for and the need for occupational validation. These are real questions. The answers however have been tempered for slightly comedic value:
"Why would you like to work for Parcels Direct"
Erm so I can get the staff discount and ship cocaine to England cheaply?"
"So, what are your weaknesses?"
Well my left knee actually and the fact that Eclipse chewing gum makes me fart
"If you had three jobs lined up in front of you, what would make you choose one over the other?"
The one closest to home or the one that pays the most - do I have a choice or is this is a trick question? You don't have any jobs do you?
"What is your greatest achievement?"
I guess considering that you're 18, living at home and still wearing a training bra . . raising two children to balanced adulthood wouldn't actually hold any resonance . .oh you need me to spell resonance and explain what it means?
"So, how much would you like to earn?"
One beeeeelllllioooon dolllarrrrrs!
"What's your idea of the perfect job?"
Well one that has me being paid one beeeeellllioooon dollllarrrs for having sex on the boardroom table with Johnny Depp (without Jay there and her camera!)
"Where would you like to work?"
In bed? In the kitchen? In the garden? Actually I don't really want to work, I want to volunteer for pets as therapy and do lunch three times a week on the Northern Beaches. Or breed pretty little ponies for spoilt rich kids. Bucking has never been so much fun!
"What excites you, motivates you?"
Having sex with Johnny Depp on the Boardroom table
"What locations are you prepared to work in?"
Erm . .Paris? Venice? Vienna? New York? I suppose Papeete is pushing the envelope?
"Describe your perfect work environment"
Well there has to be a big boardroom table and a pirate and I have to be allowed to bring my dog and an espresso coffee bar and a putting green and I can work in my pyjamas . .do you have a position at Google?
Ok your turn. Throw em at me. I am an "A" Grade Interviewee . .send me your questions . . .