Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday 'Slightly Flummoxed' Fuckwits

Quickie tonight. I'm all blogged out after this week. I took two sanity days yesterday and today and have visited just about every blog on the blogroll - and some, so, time to rest the eyes a little.

SCOOP: Tightarse Baino managed to score a Grey and a Navy suit for less $250 for both. Man I love a bargain! SCORE! And, a new Mac Keyboard (which is proving a bit trixy cos it's like a flat laptop keyboard and I'm not crash hot on it yet.)

OK Down to business two little fuckwits this Friday:

A man vying for the title of New Zealand's most incompetent criminal left his name and contact details with a shop before robbing it and fleeing.

The man - a regular customer of the music shop in the southern city of Christchurch - grabbed handfuls of notes from the till with four surveillance cameras trained on him on Friday, the shop's manager told a local newspaper.

Just minutes before the robbery, the man had approached the assistant saying he wanted a copy of Pink Floyd's album The Wall held for him and provided his correct address and contact details.

Manager Garry Knight says although the shop assistant was distracted with helping another customer, two other people in the store witnessed the theft.

"It's comical," he said.

He also had other long-standing requests for albums at the shop, also accompanied by his name and contact details.

Wot a twat!

So why pick on the New Zealanders when idiocy is international:

Thieves in Oregon were much luckier well, initially -

Police Chief Steve Scibelli said it was pretty embarrassing to have a thief hit his downtown station last week, stealing a radio, two stun guns and a Crown Victoria patrol car. The one saving grace is that police made a quick arrest.

"I'm so upset about it, I can't even find any humor in it," Scibelli told The Register-Guard newspaper. "It's pretty embarrassing."

Robert Lloyd Finder, 26, remained in the Coos County Jail on Wednesday, facing just about every charge the police could think up: burglary, possession of burglary tools, theft, unlawful use of a motor vehicle, unlawful entry into a motor vehicle, criminal mischief, criminal trespass, tampering with physical evidence and reckless driving.

Scibelli, who oversees a department of 16 officers - including himself - said the burglary occurred when all the officers left a section of the building to respond to an assault call. Finder, according to the chief, later told investigators he was walking near the station and noticed most of the police cars were gone so decided to help himself to a few tidbits and the last remaining patrol car! So what's the term for a group of twats?

Have a great weekend folks. It's a warm 25 degrees and the north westerley's are freshening the air . . Spring is just 2 weeks away.

I was looking for a killer rap song about the weekend that I've heard on radio but I'm buggered if I know who recorded it. My music guru's haven't a clue, probably dude to my inability to sing the chorus adequately (this keyboard is very annoying) and . . . yes the Google Queen has been flummoxed. So and for no particular reason enjoy some silliness from NZ comedians Flight of the Conchords!

Havta go . . . Drummerboy is playing a Samba! "It's Fri-Day, yes Fri-Day . . "

KK Chardy time and I loves yous all!


Ropi said...

Well, the first story is very funny. We have 4 days long weekend because the state holiday.

I also survived my date, but I am a bit disappointed.

Kate said...

Well Helen,
Its good to know that not all of the twats are in England!!!! I love it - I've always wanted to have a go in a patrol car with sirens going - just to watch people move out of me way!!!

Have a lovely weekend - you power dresser!!!!

jay said...

Is it this one?

I'm not a rap fan I'm afraid, but actually I rather like this one!

The Fuckwits are priceless, as usual. I mean, who robs a police station? Hahaha!! And the guy who gave his name and address? How many brain cells does he actually have, do you think? LOL!

Alan Burnett said...

Great post Baino : the Friday Fuckwits series always sets me up for a good weekend. I love the idea of "sanity days" : I will pass the phrase on to Issy who is one of the few people I know who is still working. Have a good weekend.

i beati said...

2 weeks away how heavenly we are looking a fall in about a month here in Fl.

Brian Miller said...

love dumb crook nice score on the suits. i hope you have a great weekend! big plans?

Candie Bracci said...

Lol!Yes not really smart!
Have a great weekend too!Enjoy the weather,25 is the best temperature,after that,it's too hot for me!:)

Marianna said...

My that was funny!! Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend Helen :)


Grannymar said...

Two suits... and just my colour. I would only need them on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you could sport them on the other five! ;)

That incompetent criminal sounds like he has Irish blood in him! I'm gone before and more Irish folk appear and try to scalp me.

Anonymous said...

Baino, methinks there is a "Dumb Crook" disease going round. The copperss are finding more and more of them, in this way-HA!

And nick a patrol car? D'oh! We had some blokes nicked a few military Humvees, a while's not like they were hard to take and you didn't need a key to start one( ignore that )-LOL!

And you go dazzle 'em with that new suit of yours :)

Ces said...

Ah! They are both contenders for the Darwin Award! I love it when criminals are dumb!

Headline in the news:

"Crack Found In Man's Buttocks"

Renee said...

Hillarious. I love flight of the conchords.


hokgardner said...

My sister used to date a police officer, and he said the only reason the police were as successful as they were is because most crooks are stupid.

Although in the case of the Oregon cops, it's a question of which group is more stupid.

kj said...

hokgardner has a point.

ah but it is so nice when you sprinkle your comments around the blogs. can't you do with less sleep and just keep doing the rounds? :)

Leah said...

Oh good lord on both of those fuckwits.

And good for you on the suits score!

Happy weekend--

ebony said...

We just had a listening comprehension about stupid thieves. Lol. The video was so funny.

Megan said...

Have you ever seen the video of the guy in San Diego who stole the Sherman tank?

How did he think he was going to get away?

Darlene said...

Thanks for the laughs, Baino. I needed that after reading all the blogs on health care reform in the U.S.

Baino said...

Ropi glad you survived but it's a shame she lives too far away. All good practice! Next time ask for her address before you ask her out.

Oh Fuckwittery knows no nationality Kate.

Nah not that one Jay. It's an Aussie duo but I can't for the life of me find it.

Well that's the intention Alan. It was just one post but so many people liked it, sorta kept going. Have a good weekend yourself.

Well Sandy, the cool might bring some relief. Our weather systems are similar. Yours a little more humid in summer.

Nah no plans. The suits are for work Brian. Very corporate environment.

Candie I like that too. . .any hotter than 30 and I expire. It won't last, there's always a warm spell before September.

Thanks Marianna. You too. I'ved been over but didn't have time to let your video load, I'll try again today.

Grannymar, my suits would fit two of you! I try to avoid the Irish jokes. Just in case!

Subby I know! Do they not think they'll get caught? We had a guy here a couple of years back pinch an armoured vehicle from an army base and knocked down a load of mobile phone towers because he was cranky about the way his provider had treated him

Haha . . you said buttocks!

Great aren't they Renee, if ever you need a giggle, there's loads of them on You Tube

Heather we had a similar incident here only the burglar was 'known' to the man he burgled - easy to dob in!

kj seriously if I had any less sleep, I'd fall over! It's this Theme Thursday and Blogland Lane thing .. like having three blogs and you have to visit everyone!

Leah I hate shopping for clothes so it was a coup!

Hey Ebs, good luck with the exams!

Megan, sometimes the havoc is worth it I guess. Now who leaves their tank parked with the door unlocked? I always lock my tank don't you?

Ronda Laveen said...

A life of crime is not for the weak minded. But somehow they can't resist.

King of New York Hacks said...

LOTS of Fuckwits here in New York. Very funny post...I don't think Sanity days exist here in NYC...however I will be calling someone a "Fuckwit" this weekend !! lol

Bimbimbie said...

Tsup*!* Good bargain shopping.

I think people are just trying too hard to be stupider ... words out about your FF's Baino ;)

Anonymous said...

@Megan, I thought that was in Sacramento and it's not Sherman tank( ducks shoe ). And didn't the cops kill that guy?

Kurt said...

I thought I was the biggest tightarse. My suit (I only have one) is from Nordstrom Rack, where they send their old styles when the new ones come in. It was $500, then marked down 50% to $250, then marked down another 50% when they couldn't get rid of it, to $125.

Mine came with tailoring, tho.

otin said...

Some real smart crooks these days! I read a story about a guy who is in a burn unit because he was trying to siphon gas and he could not see, so he used a lighter! LOL!

Baino said...

It's a hot topic over there Darlene. I really can't see what all the fuss is about.

Ronda I'm never short of a Friday Fuckwit. The choice is endless,

Welcome over your Magesty. Feel free I have plenty more where that came from. Fucktard is a particular favourite although not politically correct . .

Do you think they're trying to get a guernsey Bimbimbie *Tsup*!

You tell her Subby, silly woman not getting her military hardware right.

Dammit Kurt and there I was thinking I'd scored the bargain of the century. I hate suits but need them for work.

Haha . . Otin we recently had a petrol sniffer (big problem with our indigenous population) who had so much petrol on his shirt that when the police tasered him for resisting arrest, he burst into flames! Not funny I know but . . not sure who were the biggest idiots the police or the victim. He's ok by the way.

kj said...


VE said...

Wohoo, Oregon made it on your list of stupidity! It was the Oregon coast so it doesn't surprise me. The weather is miserable there; anyone would have to be stupid to live there...

River said...

I don't own a suit. I've never owned a suit. I will never own a suit. I would never take a job that requires me to wear a suit. I hate suits. I'm a casual person. Old t-shirts and raggedy jeans, that's me.

lettuce said...



twat and fuckwit are such good words and these are priceless examples of both twattage and fuckwittage.

also love the Concords.
have a great weekend

Melissa said...

Hi Baino! It's fun to catch up with your blog and I love the new look! These stories made me giggle ... there was a guy in our town who robbed an ATM and would have gotten away with it, had he not been wearing his baseball team jersey with his last name printed on the back ... which the security camera behind him captured beautifully. :D

Miladysa said...

Numpties :)

Really strange to read that spring is in the air over there and we're still waiting for summer - wait a minute maybe we had that at Easter?

Hope you have a great weekend Bainster!

Megan said...

Sherman, shmerman. All tanks look alike to me.


laughingwolf said...

yeah, twats know no boundaries :O lol

btw - tell the nice folk in north america the twats you speak of are NOT what we horridly call female genitalia...

Ces said...

Ah! I am still seeing my favorites though, just getting off the pressure of creating for posting.