Thursday, May 27, 2010

Fingers Like Prunes


I can't for the life of me work out why modern houses bother installing a bath in the bathroom other than it would become a 'shower' room, or a 'sink' room which sounds a bit funny . .well you know what I mean. Then we actually call going to the toilet, visiting the bathroom even when the toilet is separate and clearly there's no bath in the toilet . . .

My point is, that these days, baths themselves are too small and useless to be of any resorative or relaxing use. They're good for bathing babies, washing the dog (although mine prefers the shower)  and exceptional for accumulating dust, catching stray hairs and dead flies. At least that's all my bath is used for these days. It's just a big porcelain hole that I have to clean every week!

Very occasionally,  the mood will take me. You know how it goes, home alone, run a bath (although I usually have a shower first and do the obligatory shave and shampoo thing).  Splosh in something smelly and sweet. Light a few candles and fragrant oil burners. Slap on a peel off mask, pour a glass of bubbly, make a little pillow from a towel and sink into the fragrant waters with a sigh. Are you with me ladies?

Problem is that I'm 172 cm tall and the inside of my bath about 165cms long. The bath isn't deep enough to cover even half of my ample bosom, leaving crippled nipples exposed and I end up with my folded knees, goose-pimpled and poking above the bubbles, body bent, like a consatina'd cadaver or a Brett Whitely model excruciatingly bent in the bath. Alternatively, I can slink down into the bath so that my torso is nicely marinated in said fragrant waters but then my thighs, calves and feet are well exposed and resting uncomfortably on the taps or spread eagled either side on the tap end of the bath rim as if I'm about to partake of a water birth.

This is where hotels come in. They at least have a decent sized bath that you can languish in, or better still, a spa where you can be pummelled and pushed, whilst neck-deep in froth and simply luxuriate until your feet and fingers wrinkle like prunes.

Yep, in this one of few cases, after imbibing in a luxurient bath, I simply don't care who sees my wrinkles!

Check out what the other Theme Thursday mob are doing with their Wrinkles

38 comments:

nick said...

I quite like a bath myself. I usually shower but there's something about immersing myself in steaming hot water and just wallowing for a while that's very soothing and luxurious. I may be taller than you are but my height doesn't stop me luxuriating. And luckily I don't have the uncovered bosom problem....

Ropi said...

Well, I don't talk about my problems with my 196cm. :P

Dragonfly said...

Lucky for me I'm just 160cm - perfect size for my bath :-)

babysis said...

Now thats where being married to a plumber comes in handy! I say, honey I want a bath that ALL of my body can fit into (mmmmm and maybe his too?).....and the man delivers...when we built our house he put a whopping big bath, with spa jets to cope with my 170cm frame. It was delicious! I miss it so! (only problem was, the kids were little then and always wanted to join me!!!

Mrsupole said...

We put one of those Jacuzzi bathtubs into our bathroom and I step in to take a shower and then next thing I know I am stepping on the plug and sinking down into the bath.

Ever since I hurt my shoulder and then during the recovery from the surgery I just want to take a long bath every day. I do have to say that the jets can hurt when they are pushing on my shoulder. But I just want the pain to go away and so for just a little bit of time, while in the hot bath I can relax and forget a little about the pain.

I wonder when the pain will totally go away but I do think the baths have helped. I now have times where the pain is not so bad for hours at a time, but never a whole day has gone by without the pain still there. And in the last month I have been able to lift my arm higher then in a long time. Putting on underarm deodorant is finally getting easier. Yippee, you have no idea how hard it is to do that without your shoulder and arm working correctly.

I would tell you to buy some washcloths that are fairly large in size and then just cover up the parts that are not under the water. It works for me.

Wishing you many long enjoyable baths.

Happy TT.

God bless.

Brian Miller said...

see this is why a 'bath' in the mountain stream is much more enjoyable. you can stretch out and let your ample bosom float beneath the gettle flow...i have the same problem with baths...i do enjoy one on occassion, but they are so darn small...

Ms. Gibson said...

I know exactly what you mean: Calgon Moment...I was at a hotel for a few days last month and was truly disappointed to see the bathtub was even shorter than the one in my own house.

Janice said...

And that's why I prefer showers!

laughingwolf said...

can't recall the last 'bath' i had... i'm in and out of the shower, once i've soaped the naughty bits and shampooed my graying locks, then rinsed em off...

a standard tub here's 5 feet long, and i'm 5'16"....

wf: squee

Roy said...

At 5'10" (178 cm), I don't fit in my tub, either. And on hot days I really would like to soak in a tub of cool water with Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Soap in it; that's even better than air-conditioning for cooling off! Oh well, showering with Dr. Bronner's is pretty cooling, too.

Nanc Twop said...

Ah yes, just like the giant white bathtub of my childhood.

Filling it with superhot water because it chilled down so quick if you didn't...

i beati said...

great take on wrinkles hahah sandy

Darlene said...

I shower now and haven't been in a tub since I left Europe. One hotel tub was so deep I didn't think I was going to get out of it and thought it might be days before my shriveled body would be discovered. That incident was enough to convince me that the relaxing soak in bubbles was no longer for me.

Give me a cubicle I can step into and out of without falling and I will stay clean forever. (Well, I will try to avoid being a dirty old woman, anyhow.)

padraig said...

I haven't fit in a bathtub since I was about 14.

The default bathtub is a travesty against humankind, inflicted upon us by the alien overlords of the Illuminati.

Ronda Laveen said...

I'm like you, I like my bath after I'm clean. Stewing in dirty water kinda grosses me out.

And spa wrinkles and folds are ABSOLUTELY acceptable.

California Girl said...

thanks for sharing...TMI! trying to erase you and your wrinkled nipples or whatever from my mind. bwahahaha!

btw, great piece of art you used here. who did it?

Leeuna said...

Ahhh. I dream of a large bathroom and a garden tub with jets. Until then, I'll stay with the shower.

Kris said...

Sexy!

JeffScape said...

My parents have an over-sized tub. That thing rocks.

Leah said...

Vivid, funny, true. I long ago gave up on baths.

Kath Lockett said...

I have to admit that, as a keen bucketer of shower water onto the garden, I get annoyed at seeing house and design magazines featuring these huge, egg-shaped, free standing baths in Aussie homes.

Take a four minute shower and get out. Even you overpaid yuppies you!

Kate said...

I don't bath often but I shower lots (honest) - I like a bath (as described above!) but I have trouble getting out of it!! The problems with my hands really show their true colours and it is such a problem I have to let the water out and then try to turn round so I can kneel up before getting out!
By this time I'm so flustered I need to take a shower!!!

Cinnamon said...

Hi Baino! Exactly! my bath gets used for washing wellies and football boots!

Carolina said...

Hi, you poor other half ;-)
I'm 180 cm tall, and our bath comfortably ensures that no nipples can be seen. Oh, and we have a jacuzzi bath (I know, it's just too much of a good thing), so when I turn on the bubbles, the foam covers me up to my chin(s). And just to make things worse, we have a television in the wall above the foot-end of the bath.
Sorry.

River said...

I'm only 152cms and I've noticed that baths are ridiculously tiny these days. Like you Baino, I can sink in and have my knees exposed or just lay back and have my boobs getting goose pimply with exposure. The bath simply isn't deep enough! In these days of cheap housing of course it's cheaper for builders to use the smallest cheapest tubs available to them. If I'm ever in a position to build my dream home (you know, when I win those millions of dollars), I'm having a custom built bath. For sure. I can't lay back in one because of the arthritis in the back of the neck, so my dream tub will be more Japanese in style, deep enough to sit in with a built in seat so I'm sitting comfortably with hot water up to my neck. With bubbles of course.
One thing I've never done is say "I'm going to the bathroom" when I mean toilet. I don't care that people know I need to wee. Everybody does it....

otin said...

I actually have sort of a claustrophobic thing with bath tubs. I am actually a shower person all the way. I can't tell you the last time that I sat in a tub.

Pam said...

Crippled nipples. So funny.Having shifted house far too many times, I could write a book about baths I have known and loved, or at worst, tolerated. The worst example was in the South Australian riverland where the bathwater before you even got in the bath, was like mud.Everyones was.Made having a bath in Adelaide extra special.So clear!

steph said...

I'm with Mrsupole... on the joy of sinking into a hot bath to escape pain.

Sometimes, when my head gets really sore, I run a large hot bath and just lie down in it so that the heat of the water around my head, affords temporary relief.

In fact, I use the bath as a barometer of my health. Whenever I come out of hospital, I always bath rather than shower daily. When I start wanting to shower again, it's a sure sign I'm better!

Megan said...

Once we got to stay in a house that had those wonderful huge bath tubs.

I took a bath every night.

Haven't since...

You do have a way with words!

Gledwood said...

If they can't be bothered making the bath full-length they could at least make it double-depth. I heard Japanese baths are like that. I'd like to have a go in one ...

PattiKen said...

I find the idea of a long, luxurious scented bath with music, candles and wine to be very appealing. It's the reality of one that fails to appeal. I haven't had a bath in years. As for the name of that room, perhaps WC or loo is best. They all have water, after all.

lettuce said...

crippled nipples
:o/

i can't be doing with baths these days..... M likes to languish for a good hour or two, he reads and dozes.
which makes me think of lukewarm scummy water yuck.

definately with you on the spa tho.

CatLadyLarew said...

I haven't had the luxury of a bubble bath in ages... I think it's time.

Dakota Bear said...

Even though I once liked lounging in the tub, I am now a shower girl. About ten years ago while I was still recuperating from a badly broken ankle, I was in Paris on vacation by myself. On the last night I decided to take a relaxing bath. Well all was fine until it came time to get out of the deep and narrow tub. I couldn't put weight on the mending ankle to help get the necessary leverage to get out of the tub. So I had to keep adding hot water until I could finally figure how out was going to get out. I thought I might be in there all night until they realized I hadn't checked out. Eventually, I was able to rollover and get on my knees and hoist myself out of the tub. There were many water wrinkled areas to been seen. This incident makes me think twice about getting into a tub.

Cheryl said...

Oh how you summed up my bathing experience. My wish would be a tub long enough and deep enough to actually be able to relax.

Jingle said...

I prefer showers 2,
nice post!

Robyn said...

I noticed when holidaying in NZ that a lot of the homes have super long baths and the water is soft too.
It's one of the reasons that I think NZ would be nice to live in for a short while ... just for a long soft water bath ;)

x robyn

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