Impending Neutoronomy

Ha! I'm s-o-o-o-o glad I took a day off before my surgery. I started the day right with a half hour lie-in. Hilarious . . woke at 6:00am! Hey! That's a half hour sleep-in! I am a mutant, my internal alarm is persistent and regular as clockwork. I tried to roll over and take it easy but my body was screaming for a cup of tea so pushed the hound off the bed, made a cup of Irish Brekky then checked the blogs. So far, a normal day. Then swanked over to the Vampire's to give blood, that was fun . . . it's still pumpin thank goodness! She bruised me this time so I look like a junkie. Actually I have no problem with needles and feel constantly embarrassed that I don't donate enough blood. Although I don't think my A RH- is very valuable as a cross match these days. So, denuded and a little woosy by the loss of a little blood for my op (just in case, always the pragmatist) and further blood work to make sure they don't pump me full of type O instead of A, I headed off to the Chemist. I have to take 4 super duper antibiotic tablets with a meal tonight and NO ALCOHOL *sobs uncontrollably* So the plan is to have an early afternoon drinky poo then a meal, dry out by 10 then the drugs . . . . sorted!

11:00 am and my lovely Outlaws popped in on their way to a lunch and dropped off all sorts of freezer food. Sadly, none will be left by the time I get out of hospital. DrummerBoy will have consumed the lot: Spinach and Fetta Triangles, Mushroom and Chicken Pasties and a home made Quiche - but at least that means my staple store in the pantry will remain untouched. He prefers 'ready mades' to actually putting ingredients together, even though he's quite the chef so for now, my tomato stir throughs, coconut milk, rice, pasta, baked beans and pizza bases are safe.

Sadly, work got on top of me so I had to go in this afternoon and finish the Newsletter and brief the troops - not my best effort I have to admit. I've left a few loose ends. I still haven't updated the website or completed a big mail merge to clients who will be receiving a Wilderness Calendar for Christmas but then again, it won't do any harm to leave a few things undone . . . proves I actually can justify my existence. Even Sgt Bilko was quite sweet and TheBoss of course. The self-obsessed Elder Statesman cranky as ever said nothing. I hope his prostate plays up over the weekend and gives him a severe case of brewers droop!

While I was at work, the hospital rang with the brief.

Her: "You need to show up at 6.00am with your Medicare card and you'll have to pay your $200 excess prior to admission"
Me: "Ooh nice surprise. I thought I was up for $1000. Do I get a private room"
Her: "Yes if there's one available - are you just staying the one night?"
Me: "Um I don't think so, I'm being neutered"
Her: "Oh, well you'll be with us for a few nights then - in that case, you'll need a clean nightie and some toiletries. Don't forget your toothbrush"

I am in good hands . . .really . . . I think . . . or will they send me home after day 1?

Back in time for a quick chotapeg and chain smoke my remaining cigarettes. Roit . . I think Im ready. I have two new large pinky/bluey T-shirt style nighties and a pretty pair of pink pumps with stars on them - all colour coordinated of course and thankfully they cover my less than fabulous knees, a new 'hotel style' cotton dressing gown, three pairs of black yoga pants, two new T shirts. A bevvy of Bridget Joneses which I'll trade for pretties once the scar heals and just for good measure, I bleached my Havainas so they're nice and turquoisy and clean looking. Packed my toiletries bag, complete with about 3 kilos of Naprogesic. Man that's a wonder drug - I sure hope it works in the area where my bits used to be, certainly did when they were still in place and some ibuprofin just in case. I'm not taking ANY chances on running out of Analgesia, private hospital or no! Also bought some American Indian preparation called Black Cohosh and Red Clover or something which is supposed to be good for menopausal symptoms. Apparently, we're straight into it after the op . . . I'll be flushing and sweating all over the place (Why does that make me think of Fat Bastard from Austen Powers?) DrummerBoy asked if they'd give me the bits in a bottle! I think not baby puppy! I've packed some smellies and lip gloss and of course the ubiquitous curl taming creme so I don't look like a nappy headed ho when visitors come. Bang the Gong, We Are On!

Thank you to all of you who have wished me well. I'm a woos and need the positive reinforcement so it's much appreciated, especially from the progeny of course, Christine Hyphen (who lent me 3 series of Six Foot Under and Hamish Macbeth), Thommo and her lovely, lovely, lovely, seven second hugs, Strawberry Girl, Brian (who's lit a candle for my unrecoverable soul bless his gaelic tattoo), Daz, Vanilla and Steph (means a lot coming from you two ladies who are not in the best of health yourselves right now so reciprocal healing thoughts), BabyBro and BabySis and the rest of you who have ventured into the oestrogen zone recently. (I wonder if I'll be less emotional once I'm neutered?) Anonymous . . . you'd better let me know WTF that bird is or I'll go insane!

I've put my order in for a bit of 'tightening' and a 'tummy tuck' so who knows!

See you in about 5 days! Unless it all goes pear-shaped in which case . . . . it's been a hoot and say 'hello' to Paris for me!

You caption it and make me smile!