Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Kicking the Habit

I am one of those filthy smokers. I have been for years. I only ever smoke half a cigarette which makes it even more silly and expensive and I don't smoke during the day except for the Friday chardy lunch with Thommo. . I have my 'breakfast' of a couple of cigs, two cups of Twinning's Irish. Then, when I come home, I make up for lost time and smoke about 10 fags with a bottle of wine throughout the evening.

I was cajoled as a teen down by the creek in Loyalty road by my newbie friend Kate who told me to 'do the draw back'. Eager to make friends and fit into one of the many schools I attended as a teen, I complied and that was the beginning of a lifelong habit. In those days, you could smoke in restaurants, bars, theatres, at your workstation . . . even in designated smoking rooms in hospitals. Can you imagine? Now you cannot smoke anywhere other than the gaming rooms in hotels (providing they have iceberg ventilation), beer gardens or your own home.

I gave up when I was pregnant . . both times . . .true! Didn't smoke for the duration then startedup again once the babies were born. Ray didn't smoke so why did I? Thommo smoked, TheBoss smoked, Pauly Boy smoked, even TheMerryWidow smoked . . . over the years they all kicked the habit but I plugged on blaming circumstance, stress, hard times, hard work and "Hey I like it . . I only smoke half . . bla bla bla . . .".

Similarly with alcohol. I never drank during the week, just the usual weekend benders or wine with a meal on the weekend. I never drink in the morning and only ever at lunchtime if it's a special lunch. I only drink wine or Champagne. I don't hide bottles under the bed or secret them in whilst nobody's looking but I am what could be described as a 'moderate to heavy drinker' importantly, I rarely get drunk. OK I over do it at Weddings because the booze is free or the occasional Bonfire night - it helps me deal better with cranky Firies.

Seriously, I know my limitations. I gave up completely in the late 80's and lost a shit load of weight (due more to hard work than lack of alcohol consumption I hasten to add), it was fantastic. Looked good, felt better . . then again, crisis after crisis and alcohol became a crutch and while some of the drinks I enjoy, most just pop me into a nice calm place where I can deal with the world, work, loneliness, anger and all those destructive emotions that creep in now and then. It puts me in my happy place and tastes nice to boot. Prozac with flavour.

A deal has been struck. The riot act has been read again by ClareBear and DrummerBoy and I suspect the Fringelet is also in cahoots! They're pretty serious this time. It's about time actually and the timing is just right. Time to put that $12 per packet in my wallet not my mouth. Even the awful warnings that appear on Australian packets haven't prevented me and the dreadful shock ads on TV just prompt me to change the channel. But now its time to stop whining about never having any money begin to save myself. As a drinker, it's about time I learned the word 'moderation' and saved it for a glass of wine with a meal and celebration times.

So, here's the go. I'm off to the outskirts of Melbourne from the 15th to the 21st so I have a few drinkies with the girls on the Great Ocean Road . . they would be disappointed if I didn't show usual form. Then I have a date with the Lovely Lenore and GeekBoy so again, I cannot disappoint in the drinkies department but as the only smoker on the entire trip consumption of nurrels will have to be vastly reduced so as not to offend.

Next step, try to maintain the reduction in imbibing and inhalation through to the 29th November when I go in for the removal of all things within the oestrogen zone and endure, instant menopause after the operation and a 5-6 day stay in the institution from Hell - which by the way costs more than a five star hotel in Europe and I'll bet the food ain't as good!

Satan will pale to insignificance in comparison to my mood I'll vouch. Dante hasn't even seen an inferno like my life from 29th November to the 29th December. Once home, I will become completely dependent on a 20 and 22 year old in terms of lifting, bending, stretching and doing. I will be restricted to 10 minutes exercise a day for the first couple of weeks with no alcohol, no smokes, lo cal diet, no driving! If I can handle that insanity for 4 weeks, I think I will have cracked the addiction code!

Well it's a plan and we all know how good I am at making plans . . . Actually GeekBoy/Arky/Crispy or whatever his nick name is this week, gave up thanks to a nicotine patch, lots of encouragement from the girlf and the motivation to purchase expensive geeky gadgets . My motivation? My trip to Paris next July!


Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Listen, if Significant Other can do it, you can do it. Willpower, woman!
And may the force be with you!

Anonymous said...

I wish you THE MOST of luck! Because don't believe only willpower is enough HAHA. I too have smoked since high school and only gave up during pregnancy. Agree, the drink would have to go along with it! I think the only way it would work for me is hospitalisation for a lengthy time or be marooned on a deserted island. But then I might start smoking the banana trees and I'm sure there would be something poisonous around to boil up to drink!

Ryan said...

i'm not coming near your house till the new year.

Grannymar said...

Baino you are a tough cookie, you survived many wars before today.

Sit back and enjoy the young folk running and fetching for you.

Then bounce back and enjoy Europe (I hope Norn Iron will be on the list)!

Ian Poulton said...


Paris in the summertime is worth any sacrifice. It's the most beautiful city on Earth and there are brilliant places to eat and still have money to pay the fare back. If you are there on Bastille Day, there will be loads of stuff happening

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

This is your only chance to see me cook and clean so make the most of it! In return, I want you smoke free and $2000 richer by this time next year! (Drink all you want, we're having plenty of champas in Paris!)

Anonymous said...

BLAH I should have been more positive ... but that's my weakness NOT yours!

Baino said...

AV:Will Power? If I could find him, I'd do him!

Anon: DrummerBoy does have some tobacco plants growing as a result of a hort assignment. Could be a good time to start drawing and taking pics. Nicorette gum and a patch might be needed.

Ryan: So young, so wise . . .if you do, you're not allowed to smoke. You should be giving up anyway!

GM: It's motivation enough. I'm just priming them so that if I'm not as bad as I think I'll be, everyone will be happy!

Ian: Thank you, now I know for CERTAIN I'm the only person in the world who has never been to Paris. Faarrrrkk. (sorry Rev)

Clare: You're loving being so bossy and controlling aren't you?

Anony: Nah, you're just telling it like I know it is. I'll manage.

Jefferson Davis said...

Stick to it, Baino!!! I've not had a drop of alcohol in two weeks, and I very rarely smoke.

Well, I did have a fag last night, but only because the chick I was talking to was smoking. :)

Smoking is a social thing for most of us, I reckon? I can go days or even weeks without a ciggy, but as soon as I'm around somebody smoking, I want one badly! :)

Be Tough!!!

nonny said...

Well go Miss Baino I wish you every success. Incidentally are you not going to take HRT?

Baino said...

JD: Thanks. I'm pretty committed this time, the savings alone are worth it.

Nonny: I think so, just for the short term. Depends on symptoms I guess, some women have 'em, some don't. It's not that I'm concerned about, more being bored and unable to do anything physical for a month.