Kicking the Habit

I am one of those filthy smokers. I have been for years. I only ever smoke half a cigarette which makes it even more silly and expensive and I don't smoke during the day except for the Friday chardy lunch with Thommo. . I have my 'breakfast' of a couple of cigs, two cups of Twinning's Irish. Then, when I come home, I make up for lost time and smoke about 10 fags with a bottle of wine throughout the evening.

I was cajoled as a teen down by the creek in Loyalty road by my newbie friend Kate who told me to 'do the draw back'. Eager to make friends and fit into one of the many schools I attended as a teen, I complied and that was the beginning of a lifelong habit. In those days, you could smoke in restaurants, bars, theatres, at your workstation . . . even in designated smoking rooms in hospitals. Can you imagine? Now you cannot smoke anywhere other than the gaming rooms in hotels (providing they have iceberg ventilation), beer gardens or your own home.

I gave up when I was pregnant . . both times . . .true! Didn't smoke for the duration then startedup again once the babies were born. Ray didn't smoke so why did I? Thommo smoked, TheBoss smoked, Pauly Boy smoked, even TheMerryWidow smoked . . . over the years they all kicked the habit but I plugged on blaming circumstance, stress, hard times, hard work and "Hey I like it . . I only smoke half . . bla bla bla . . .".

Similarly with alcohol. I never drank during the week, just the usual weekend benders or wine with a meal on the weekend. I never drink in the morning and only ever at lunchtime if it's a special lunch. I only drink wine or Champagne. I don't hide bottles under the bed or secret them in whilst nobody's looking but I am what could be described as a 'moderate to heavy drinker' importantly, I rarely get drunk. OK I over do it at Weddings because the booze is free or the occasional Bonfire night - it helps me deal better with cranky Firies.

Seriously, I know my limitations. I gave up completely in the late 80's and lost a shit load of weight (due more to hard work than lack of alcohol consumption I hasten to add), it was fantastic. Looked good, felt better . . then again, crisis after crisis and alcohol became a crutch and while some of the drinks I enjoy, most just pop me into a nice calm place where I can deal with the world, work, loneliness, anger and all those destructive emotions that creep in now and then. It puts me in my happy place and tastes nice to boot. Prozac with flavour.

A deal has been struck. The riot act has been read again by ClareBear and DrummerBoy and I suspect the Fringelet is also in cahoots! They're pretty serious this time. It's about time actually and the timing is just right. Time to put that $12 per packet in my wallet not my mouth. Even the awful warnings that appear on Australian packets haven't prevented me and the dreadful shock ads on TV just prompt me to change the channel. But now its time to stop whining about never having any money begin to save myself. As a drinker, it's about time I learned the word 'moderation' and saved it for a glass of wine with a meal and celebration times.

So, here's the go. I'm off to the outskirts of Melbourne from the 15th to the 21st so I have a few drinkies with the girls on the Great Ocean Road . . they would be disappointed if I didn't show usual form. Then I have a date with the Lovely Lenore and GeekBoy so again, I cannot disappoint in the drinkies department but as the only smoker on the entire trip consumption of nurrels will have to be vastly reduced so as not to offend.

Next step, try to maintain the reduction in imbibing and inhalation through to the 29th November when I go in for the removal of all things within the oestrogen zone and endure, instant menopause after the operation and a 5-6 day stay in the institution from Hell - which by the way costs more than a five star hotel in Europe and I'll bet the food ain't as good!

Satan will pale to insignificance in comparison to my mood I'll vouch. Dante hasn't even seen an inferno like my life from 29th November to the 29th December. Once home, I will become completely dependent on a 20 and 22 year old in terms of lifting, bending, stretching and doing. I will be restricted to 10 minutes exercise a day for the first couple of weeks with no alcohol, no smokes, lo cal diet, no driving! If I can handle that insanity for 4 weeks, I think I will have cracked the addiction code!

Well it's a plan and we all know how good I am at making plans . . . Actually GeekBoy/Arky/Crispy or whatever his nick name is this week, gave up thanks to a nicotine patch, lots of encouragement from the girlf and the motivation to purchase expensive geeky gadgets . My motivation? My trip to Paris next July!