Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Sometimes I am Serious

Two of the most memorable experiences of my life, the most wonderful, the most intimate were the birth of my two children. Within seconds of the arrival of each, the pain, the puffing, the waiting all faded into obscurity as each little slimy bundle was handed to me. This little miracle made from nothing but pure love (OK and a little slap and tickle). All jokes aside - and I could tell you a few - they arrived perfect, all pieces intact, kicking and screaming . . . healthy, defenseless and the most precious people in my life then and now. Little bundles of noisy leakage at both ends. Hurting them, shaking them, sexually abusing them was and is inconceivable. Even the thought of piercing ClareBear's ears as a toddler or circumcising a four day old son were abhorrant. Why would I mutilate such perfection. I didn't want to change anything about them. Even though they were denied a father at a very young age, they have been raised with love, warmth, respect and honesty which has helped them to become the amazing young adults they are.

Today, A cross-border investigation into a European wide child-sex network led to 92 arrests in eight countries. It involved 18 European police forces and the Australian authorities, Operation Koala led to 40 arrests in Britain, 21 in France, 11 in Spain, eight in Sweden, five in Belgium, four in Italy, two in Iceland and one in Denmark. Using the name of such a cuddly marsupial to challenge such an ugly operation seemed more than disgustingly ironic.

The main suspect was nabbed in Italy, laden with cash and large quantities of paedophilic materials. Italian police arrested him as he was apparently trying to leave for Ukraine, where the vast majority of the victims are from. The news story continued: Often young girls aged nine to 16, the victims were lured into a Ukrainian studio where photo shoots would become increasingly explicit and end with the victims being sexually abused, the investigation found. They were lured with promises of modelling careers in the west. According to Europol, 21 of the 23 victims were from the Ukraine. The other two were Belgian girls whose father forced them to take sexually explicit pictures. He was arrested last year for their rape - his own daughters - He was their FATHER! Over 2,500 clients accessed . . .wait for it . . .
1.5 million paedophilic images by internet. They are as bad as the abusers. Degenerate in every sense of the word. And we want to pass legislation against smacking our kids?

So who are these perverts, these awful downtrodden psychopaths. Surely to abuse children or to watch children being sexually mistreated must be the province of the deranged, the lonely, the sexually frustrated or deficient, the mentally retarded, the outcast . . you think? "Customers come from all layers of society - lawyers, school teachers, students, people with no jobs,"

We're all aware of the focus lately on Catholic Priests abusing positions of trust. Or the odd teacher who inappropriately 'handles' a child but this goes beyond disgusting, beyond imagination, these men, and they are invariably men are worthy of castration and incarceraton. Whether wanking over the internet or perpetrating the acts and recording them on film.

These stories make me sick. They are far too prevolent. How many times must we hear of some 40 year old businessman setting up house in Thailand and keeping young boys for his sexual pleasure. It moved me to tears. These maggots get away with unimaginable pain and suffering inflicted on their victims. What makes these men adore the nubile, the young, the vulnerable?

These predators need to be stopped. Not just those who are actively involved but those who get their jollies off watching little children abused in such a way. At risk of trivialising this, there is obviously a 'thing' about some sexual predators with the childlike form. The smooth skin, the hairlessness, the innocence, the ability to manipulate the betrayal of trust, their vulnerability. I'ts like rape - a crime of passion? Bollox, it's about control and manipulation of the weak. It's revolting. I see this androgenism in models who are portrayed as waifish, asexual beings with a Brasilian wax to make them look like 10 or 12 year olds. Stop it! I'm serious. Stop trying to be something you're not. Beyond the age of 12 you are not supposed to look like a pre-pubescent nymphette. You're supposed to gain body fat, gain shape, grow pubic hair, mature physically. Stop appealing to the perverted sexual desires of twisted men.

I am fortunate to have been raised in a highly moral, loving family, where values about the sanctitiy of the body and sex have been discussed and valued. Where touch was important but it was the stroke of the hair or a bear hug that suspended breathing it was so filled with affection. I have passed these values on to my own children who are highly respectful of their opposite sex and not at all expliotationist. Remember, these little darlings, wooed by the hope of a better life are forgoing all innocence with some slobbering 50 something who isn't 'man' enough to attempt a relationship with a real adult. There are things we can do to prepare our children:

  • Be suspicious if an adult seems more interested in spending time with your child than with you.
  • Be wary of people who are overly kind, affectionate or loving towards your child or who give your child lots of gifts. Remember, most people have good intentions, so don't jump to conclusions.
  • Be very choosy about leaving your child with others. Ask your child how he feels about being cared for by that person. If there's any reluctance . . . don't do it.
  • Teach your child about different parts of the body and which are his own private parts. Let them know that it's inappropriate for someone else to touch them there.
  • Teach your child to try and get away as quickly as possible from any person who makes him feel uncomfortable or frightened and to then tell people he trusts about what has happened.
  • Teach your child never to keep secrets that make him feel uncomfortable or bad. Always listen to your child and trust what he says even if you are shocked by it. Act upon the information so your child feels supported by you.
  • Teach your child that adults are not always right. This will help your child if a paedophile tells your child the abuse is okay and not to tell anyone.
  • Supervis their internet access and know who they are talking to. Tell them to never reveal their real name or address. Install a Disk Nanny or password so they can't access without your supervision.
  • Ensure they are supervised going to and from school or are aware of Neighbourhood Watch safe houses
  • Teach your child never to go into public toilets alone. Never let a child under 10 go to the toilet alone.
  • Ensure you know where your child is at all times.
  • Always answer your child’s questions honestly and at a level that he can understand, even if you are embarrassed.
  • Things you teach your child will help, but they will not guarantee your child's protection. Children are not able to totally protect themselves. It is up to adults to do this.
  • Love them with every fibre of your being until they are old enough to know the difference between sexual predators and the joy of sex.

Of course, this assumes that you are a caring, cautious, wise and loving parent . . .unfortunately, the parents of many abused children are in fact the perpetrators.

OK. I'll jump off my soapbox now.


Anonymous said...

That would have been a difficult post to write but you have done a brilliant job - most informative!

Grannymar said...

Department Stores and clothes shops have a part to play as well. STOP selling prevocative clothes for very young girls eg. 5-6 yearolds.

Baino said...

To be honest Anony, I was so enraged by the ABC news item that I jumped on the computer and spewed forth. I just don't understand this behaviour anymore than I understand man's other inhumanities to man.

GM: You are so right, we are robbing our children of childhood by portraying them as PussyCat Dolls or little Bratz images then perpetuating it into adulthood with our obsession of the nubile and immature model. Fwooooaaar. I also have a message for mothers . . .dress your children like children! Just because they ask for a bra at 8 years of age doesn't mean you have to give it to them! Shit. Then I have the opposing view (Libran pscyhe kids in) that provocation is no defence. No matter how tarty a girl looks, it's no provocation for gratuitous behaviour by sexually perverted men. (Did I say I'd get off my soapbox now . . ) Sorry chickens!

nonny said...

"circumcising a four day old son"

You are going to be in trouble again.

They should all be castrated, it is not inhumane it is just. I don’t believe they ever learn to stop, lock them up forever. There are of course lots of ways to protect children but the thing is some parents are stupid. I was shopping Sunday with my niece, she was on them strap things, well they don’t look like straps (I got them in merica) it is a little Tiger bag that you fasten onto her and aunty Nonny holds Tigers tail, it’s cool and she can’t escape and her little hands are free to touch things she’s not suppose to, ye know break things and such. Anyway some gimp passed comment as we walked past about how it was like a dog on a lead. Her little nipper was running riot around the place. 80% of children who are abducted or abused is down to carelessness.

Terence McDanger said...

Good post Baino. It reminds me of a line from Open All Hours, an old sitcom over here, when the old shopkeeper and central character exclaimed to his young assistant: "Puberty? Puberty? We didn't have puberty when I were a lad, we went straight from school into hard labour."

Kids neither want to be or are given the time to be kids any more, you're right.

wordnerd said...

This is powerful and important. I almost cannot watch the news or read the papers because of stories like these. I think for all the good that the internet does, it is also an evil tool that has come very close to putting pedophilia in the mainstream. It's just too easy to get now. And I'm frightened. For my kids, for yours, for everyone's.

Baino said...

Nonny: Nah, I don't have a strong opinion on cirumcision I just couldn't do it to my perfect little parcel. And hanging onto 'tiger' by the tail isn't a bad idea, at least you know where she is and she's happy playing the game.

TMc: Yeh, I remember it. Ronnie Barker I think. Puberty is important but it should be hormonally driven, not commercially encouraged.

Wordnerd: You're right of course, while we enjoy the positive end of the internet, there's much to be afraid about. The Government here offers free software that allows parents to monitor their children's internet activity. There's been a huge outcry about 'invasion of privacy' from the under 18's!

Thanks for your comments everyone. Usually when I write a serious post, the ether goes suspiciously quiet!

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

I know what you mean about provocation...Our tour agent said not to wear revealing clothing in South America because its a sexual invitation for the men over there! How can those men justify that! Seriously, I don't go around raping guys cos they're wearing less clothing!!!

Kate said...

Sure, it's a soapbox... but a well-chosen and important one. Vent away... there's no such thing as wasted effort if it makes even one child just a little bit safer.

Baino said...

ClareBear: Maybe not but when in Rome. Seems a contradiction in terms when you look at the beaches of Rio - keep yourself covered my darling and you'll keep yourself safe!

Kate: It's got to be something close to the heart to get me going and there's nothing closer than the safety of the vulnerable.

Thank you everyone yet again and interestingly, only one male voice in the wilderness?

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

I am so glad you posted that, Baino. This whole subject has been really getting to me since I recently heard that 300 paedophiles were caught in France. The irony which brought it all home that much more was during Phoctober I thought it would be a good idea to get people to run a photographic tribute to children everywhere by posting pics of kids. Then I stopped and thought. One, others might come and perve over those innocent pics and those taking the picture might be accosted by parents wondering what the hell the photographer was doing. What kind of world do we live in where we have to think about stuff like that when all one would like to do is pay a tribute to children and point out the evil that some do. I still haven't got my head around how I want to deal with the subject but I will definitely be linking to your post when I do it. I have some ideas, courtesy of photoimpact.

One other point, it's not only adults who abuse children, children abuse children too - and that's possibly doubly horrific if one considers future ramifications of that behaviour.

Baino said...

AV: Sorry, it's been a few days and since I am a technophobe who hasn't worked out Reader I didn't notice the comment. How sad isn't it that we're afraid to highlight the beauty in childhood for fear some moron might take advantage or some parent take offense. Over here cameras are often banned at children's sports carnivals and swim meets for fear that some pervert might take inappropriate photograhs. It's a mad world. I like the idea of children as photographic subjects and I think you should run with it. Just be careful how it's tagged. I think fully clothed kids doing what kids do would hold little charm for these insects.