Two of the most memorable experiences of my life, the most wonderful, the most intimate were the birth of my two children. Within seconds of the arrival of each, the pain, the puffing, the waiting all faded into obscurity as each little slimy bundle was handed to me. This little miracle made from nothing but pure love (OK and a little slap and tickle). All jokes aside - and I could tell you a few - they arrived perfect, all pieces intact, kicking and screaming . . . healthy, defenseless and the most precious people in my life then and now. Little bundles of noisy leakage at both ends. Hurting them, shaking them, sexually abusing them was and is inconceivable. Even the thought of piercing ClareBear's ears as a toddler or circumcising a four day old son were abhorrant. Why would I mutilate such perfection. I didn't want to change anything about them. Even though they were denied a father at a very young age, they have been raised with love, warmth, respect and honesty which has helped them to become the amazing young adults they are.
Today, A cross-border investigation into a European wide child-sex network led to 92 arrests in eight countries. It involved 18 European police forces and the Australian authorities, Operation Koala led to 40 arrests in Britain, 21 in France, 11 in Spain, eight in Sweden, five in Belgium, four in Italy, two in Iceland and one in Denmark. Using the name of such a cuddly marsupial to challenge such an ugly operation seemed more than disgustingly ironic.
The main suspect was nabbed in
1.5 million paedophilic images by internet. They are as bad as the abusers. Degenerate in every sense of the word. And we want to pass legislation against smacking our kids?
So who are these perverts, these awful downtrodden psychopaths. Surely to abuse children or to watch children being sexually mistreated must be the province of the deranged, the lonely, the sexually frustrated or deficient, the mentally retarded, the outcast . . you think? "Customers come from all layers of society - lawyers, school teachers, students, people with no jobs,"
We're all aware of the focus lately on Catholic Priests abusing positions of trust. Or the odd teacher who inappropriately 'handles' a child but this goes beyond disgusting, beyond imagination, these men, and they are invariably men are worthy of castration and incarceraton. Whether wanking over the internet or perpetrating the acts and recording them on film.
These stories make me sick. They are far too prevolent. How many times must we hear of some 40 year old businessman setting up house in
These predators need to be stopped. Not just those who are actively involved but those who get their jollies off watching little children abused in such a way. At risk of trivialising this, there is obviously a 'thing' about some sexual predators with the childlike form. The smooth skin, the hairlessness, the innocence, the ability to manipulate the betrayal of trust, their vulnerability. I'ts like rape - a crime of passion? Bollox, it's about control and manipulation of the weak. It's revolting. I see this androgenism in models who are portrayed as waifish, asexual beings with a Brasilian wax to make them look like 10 or 12 year olds. Stop it! I'm serious. Stop trying to be something you're not. Beyond the age of 12 you are not supposed to look like a pre-pubescent nymphette. You're supposed to gain body fat, gain shape, grow pubic hair, mature physically. Stop appealing to the perverted sexual desires of twisted men.
I am fortunate to have been raised in a highly moral, loving family, where values about the sanctitiy of the body and sex have been discussed and valued. Where touch was important but it was the stroke of the hair or a bear hug that suspended breathing it was so filled with affection. I have passed these values on to my own children who are highly respectful of their opposite sex and not at all expliotationist. Remember, these little darlings, wooed by the hope of a better life are forgoing all innocence with some slobbering 50 something who isn't 'man' enough to attempt a relationship with a real adult. There are things we can do to prepare our children:
- Be suspicious if an adult seems more interested in spending time with your child than with you.
- Be wary of people who are overly kind, affectionate or loving towards your child or who give your child lots of gifts. Remember, most people have good intentions, so don't jump to conclusions.
- Be very choosy about leaving your child with others. Ask your child how he feels about being cared for by that person. If there's any reluctance . . . don't do it.
- Teach your child about different parts of the body and which are his own private parts. Let them know that it's inappropriate for someone else to touch them there.
- Teach your child to try and get away as quickly as possible from any person who makes him feel uncomfortable or frightened and to then tell people he trusts about what has happened.
- Teach your child never to keep secrets that make him feel uncomfortable or bad. Always listen to your child and trust what he says even if you are shocked by it. Act upon the information so your child feels supported by you.
- Teach your child that adults are not always right. This will help your child if a paedophile tells your child the abuse is okay and not to tell anyone.
- Supervis their internet access and know who they are talking to. Tell them to never reveal their real name or address. Install a Disk Nanny or password so they can't access without your supervision.
- Ensure they are supervised going to and from school or are aware of Neighbourhood Watch safe houses
- Teach your child never to go into public toilets alone. Never let a child under 10 go to the toilet alone.
- Ensure you know where your child is at all times.
- Always answer your child’s questions honestly and at a level that he can understand, even if you are embarrassed.
- Things you teach your child will help, but they will not guarantee your child's protection. Children are not able to totally protect themselves. It is up to adults to do this.
- Love them with every fibre of your being until they are old enough to know the difference between sexual predators and the joy of sex.
Of course, this assumes that you are a caring, cautious, wise and loving parent . . .unfortunately, the parents of many abused children are in fact the perpetrators.
OK. I'll jump off my soapbox now.
OK. I'll jump off my soapbox now.