I am not a terrorist, and I don't need to launder money acquired by ill begotten means so why does the Federal Government insist that I provide a primary photo ID document and secondary ID document in order to deposit, switch or withdraw my money from my fund manager?
It seems we are following in the biometric paranoia of the American Government and tarring everyone with the same brush. We are all potential terrorists and mafioso hit men so we must all justify who we are before depositing, transferring or redeeming our own bloody money!
In November 2007, the Federal Government very cunningly passed Anti Terrorist and Money Laundering Legislation that has given financial institutions the excuse to create even more forms and red tape (and anyone who knows me knows how fucked up I am at doing forms!) What part of 'broad brush, creative, marketing, conceptual, project management, no eye for detail, logical and pragmatic' don't you understand. I HATE FILLING OUT FORMS. Yet 30% of my job depends on me doing it. Lately, it's been a nightmare because I didn't tick the right box to say we'd sighted ID or I didn't present the right ID, or as a Justice of the Peace, I didn't certify copies of a person's ID. For fuck's sake. I feel like I'm in a Douglas Adams novel pushing pen and paper around with the rest of the Accountants and Telephone Hygienists!
So how do I help little old Widow Moffatt withdraw funds from her fund manager? She is 89 years old. She has never driven a car so there goes her licence as a source of photo ID. Her passport hasn't been renewed since 1938 so that's no good, the near sepia picture is a semblance of its former self and bears no resemblance to our lovely silver haired lady. She is financially self sufficient so she has no Social Security number or need of a pension. No Seniors Card . . in fact nothing with photo ID. But apparently, she is a potential terrorist, a money laundering granny from hell who is bent on the destruction of democracy and not entitled to her own savings without jumping through the proverbial flaming hoop!
Eventually, we can get Edna's money for her after presenting a rates notice, a letter from her doctor, her last 12 months of phone bills, letting the Government know her shoe size, parading her and her zimmer frame in front of a panel of experts and having her teeth x-ray'd!
Mr High Net Worth is filthy rich and deservedly so, he is a highly successful engineer and businessman . . . has a bank account with Macquarie Bank. . .big bank . . very big bank. He's had his account for 20 years, they've been more than happy to do business with him and he gets a VIP Christmas Card and party invitation every year. They are constantly telling him what a 'valued' client he is. But, this week, when we want to put a goodly some of his cash into not one, but three Term Deposits . . he, read me, (All he has to do is sign the fuckers but has trouble doing that in the right place!) has to fill out a mountain of forms AND provide ID to the point where I thought he was going to withdraw the lot and stick it in a tin under the bed!
If it wasn't for the good cash rate return on Term Deposits at the moment I think he may well have done that!
I have often had arguments with libertarians and those of the right wing persuasion about my socialist leanings and I stick to my moderately leftist politics, I do believe in subsidised health and education and the wealthy looking after the poor but . . . when we virtually accuse an entire nation of being potential criminals, create even more bureaucracy and red tape, and respond to a problem that barely exists here . . . it's time to rise up and tell your politicians to stick their ridiculous accusations up their proverbial bottoms and to get on with governing the country!
I am not a terrorist! And the only laundering my money has been through is in the bottom of a washing machine!
Please, Mrs Moffat and Mr High Net Worth look nothing like a terrorist: