Sunday, March 02, 2008
Sign of the Times
Well hopefully we've moved up from the handle and into the pointy end. We were gazetted for sub-development in April 2005. Our block has the only allowable road access for the rest of our side of the street so we have a distinct advantage. Between the two blocks that are currently listed for sale is my immediate neighbour. He's a gentlemen who I like and respect but who also has a completely unrealistic idea of what his site is worth. Frankly, it's worth shit thanks to a power easement right through the middle. He has a potential 9-12 developable blocks, we have 22.
We have had our house officially on the market with a Developer's Agent for 3 years and no interest. This week we have another Agent, just a normal Real Estate Agent, present us with a serious offer on behalf of a mega-developer. Sadly, I am sworn to secrecy so can tell nothing other than it was highly conditional and short of the ball park so we've thrown it on the tarmac to see if it sticks, we've run it up the flagpole and basically told them to come back when they're serious.
We resisted putting up for sale signs. All this selling to developers apparently is secret stuff. We are to remain united with our neighbours but we never discuss our asking price or who we're listed with. We meet with council and developers as a group but never let on what we really think. I don't understand it. Anyway, our Agent has told us that yes, there is interest out there now and that developers and speculators are on the prowl and that the best way to demonstrate our seriousness is to have a couple of "For Sale" signs banged up out the front. Let them know who they're dealing with, up the ante, show the spirit of competition! Okay says I. No worries bring your fine erections and place them carefully. This week the signs went up on our block and next door but one . . however, the middle block belongs to Steady Eddy. And he isn't a happy camper. The placement of both our signs gives the distinct impression that Eddy is also for sale . . the signs are on our land mind you but still, it does look like the three five acre blocks adjacent to each other are all listed by Acquire Property.
Poor Eddy, he's having a coronary as we speak. Imagine his chagrin . . chagrin be fucked . . .he is pissed. Mind you, our Eddy is a rich man . . he has a thriving business, his children are financially independent, his poor wife is riddled with arthritis to the point that they holiday in Queensland during the winter and is building a house on the coast but still insists his little piece of Oz is worth the same as ours. So . . phone call this afternoon:
Ed: Helen that Acquire guy has put For Sale signs up on your block and on the other side!
Me: Brilliant powers of observation Eddy - gold star! We've both listed with him.
Ed: Well the signs give the distinct impression that my block and Hector's block is also listed with the same agent?
Me: Really? Well the signs are on our boundary lines!
Ed: Do you mind if I move the sign on my boundary a little closer to your driveway?
Me: Well no not really, *snide smile* I'll get the agent to move it.
Ed: No, no that's alright, I'll move it this afternoon
*Sound of 60 something-year-old hammering an aluminium frame with a mattock*
I swear the agent has set the sign in concrete . . it won't budge and is made of something tantamount the same material used in black box flight recorders . . . perhaps I should offer Eddy a massage . . his elbow must be reverberating.
. . .and so it begins . . .