Sunday, March 02, 2008

Sign of the Times

Well hopefully we've moved up from the handle and into the pointy end. We were gazetted for sub-development in April 2005. Our block has the only allowable road access for the rest of our side of the street so we have a distinct advantage. Between the two blocks that are currently listed for sale is my immediate neighbour. He's a gentlemen who I like and respect but who also has a completely unrealistic idea of what his site is worth. Frankly, it's worth shit thanks to a power easement right through the middle. He has a potential 9-12 developable blocks, we have 22.

We have had our house officially on the market with a Developer's Agent for 3 years and no interest. This week we have another Agent, just a normal Real Estate Agent, present us with a serious offer on behalf of a mega-developer. Sadly, I am sworn to secrecy so can tell nothing other than it was highly conditional and short of the ball park so we've thrown it on the tarmac to see if it sticks, we've run it up the flagpole and basically told them to come back when they're serious.

We resisted putting up for sale signs. All this selling to developers apparently is secret stuff. We are to remain united with our neighbours but we never discuss our asking price or who we're listed with. We meet with council and developers as a group but never let on what we really think. I don't understand it. Anyway, our Agent has told us that yes, there is interest out there now and that developers and speculators are on the prowl and that the best way to demonstrate our seriousness is to have a couple of "For Sale" signs banged up out the front. Let them know who they're dealing with, up the ante, show the spirit of competition! Okay says I. No worries bring your fine erections and place them carefully. This week the signs went up on our block and next door but one . . however, the middle block belongs to Steady Eddy. And he isn't a happy camper. The placement of both our signs gives the distinct impression that Eddy is also for sale . . the signs are on our land mind you but still, it does look like the three five acre blocks adjacent to each other are all listed by Acquire Property.

Poor Eddy, he's having a coronary as we speak. Imagine his chagrin . . chagrin be fucked . . .he is pissed. Mind you, our Eddy is a rich man . . he has a thriving business, his children are financially independent, his poor wife is riddled with arthritis to the point that they holiday in Queensland during the winter and is building a house on the coast but still insists his little piece of Oz is worth the same as ours. So . . phone call this afternoon:

Ed: Helen that Acquire guy has put For Sale signs up on your block and on the other side!
Me: Brilliant powers of observation Eddy - gold star! We've both listed with him.
Ed: Well the signs give the distinct impression that my block and Hector's block is also listed with the same agent?
Me: Really? Well the signs are on our boundary lines!
Ed: Do you mind if I move the sign on my boundary a little closer to your driveway?
Me: Well no not really, *snide smile* I'll get the agent to move it.
Ed: No, no that's alright, I'll move it this afternoon

*Sound of 60 something-year-old hammering an aluminium frame with a mattock*

I swear the agent has set the sign in concrete . . it won't budge and is made of something tantamount the same material used in black box flight recorders . . . perhaps I should offer Eddy a massage . . his elbow must be reverberating.

. . .and so it begins . . .


Brianf said...

Good for you! I hope you get a billion dollars for it.

Thriftcriminal said...

Best of luck with that, what's the game plan after you are immensely wealthy?

Anonymous said...

Good luck and the rest TriftCriminal said! Poor Eddy (hehehheeehee)

Nickq said...

Wow, everything's really hush-hush over there. Here we have estate agents' boards everywhere and we all blab about purchase prices and offers. Sounds like the jackpot getting a major developer interested but as you say, make sure you get a serious offer that reflects the real value of the site and not some laughable try-on.

Nick said...

Oops, where did that rogue Q come from?

Baino said...

We've been in the middle of this for four or five years now so I won't hold my breath. The sale is my retirement income! What will I do with the dosh? I daren't even think about it until its a done deal. Pay off the kids Uni loans, buy a house, have a proper, long, holiday

ian said...

Five acres?

When the Dublin market was at its peak you would have got megabucks here - prices in this parish were around €5 million an acre.

Are you planning to retire after making this big killing selling in prime suburbia? Are there not lots of Hillsongs Christians who would like to pay you a lot of money?!

Baino said...

Yep Ian, 2.3 hectares. We're in a real estate slump at the moment so things are moving painfully slowly. At least this recent offer is inching towards true value.

I'll probably think about retiring at 55 or doing work I like for less pay rather than being a wage slave.

Well there's a lot more land on offer down under I guess and our cost of living is much lower than Europe. Going rate is about 582,700 Euro an acre at the moment. I'm the major shareholder with 3 siblings owning varying shares.

Hillsong own half of Norwest down the road so I think they're set but next door on the other side has been bought for a Seventh Day Adventist school! Told you I live in the Bible Belt!

nonny said...

Where are you going to move to Baino? Will you stay beside the family? You all live so close how will you cope with separation? And how did you win with the inheritance are you the oldest?

I ask a lot of questions don't I?

I feel your pain with the neighbour, I was building a wall built out my garden, a nice old lady lives next door. The dividing fence was old and falling, she likes Floyd and the cats going in and out but he hates her son who doesn’t live there but Jesus the Dog hates him, I’d be afraid he'd bite him. Anyway I told the lady I was thinking of building a wall in my garden, she even offered to pay half but off course I would not dream of taking her money. She told me enjoyed Floyds Company and if he bit her son, “sure fuck em” (her words, I think she told me she was 87) so I relented and put the wall on hold. And lo and behold the son comes in demanding I build a wall to stop the dog getting in and ruining his mothers garden, The garden is a wreck, well was a wreck until I planted a few rose and Strawberry bushes for her, I even mow her lawn. The old lady had told him and he obviously anticipated the added value of the wall when he eventually inherits the house. Anyway they won, old lady sent son sent packing, Floyd, cats & hens roam two gardens, are petted for hours on end and the lady has company all day. I did not win, as I know have the added chore of doing her shopping. Them ladies are rare though. My mother said I have one of those faces, I asked what face was that she said, “the one of a lickarse ”