Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Cruising


Today I received two tickets, travel tags and an Itinerary for a Caribbean cruise on the Carnival Valor (Exotic Western Caymans). I was thrilled! Whilst I'm not in exactly swimsuit condition a carefully chosen, slimming black number and a GrannyMar style spray tan might disguise the fact that we've had an arctic summer. A quick water diet for the next couple of weeks might even disguise the cellulite and cut off a few kilos. I began the cucumber diet.

I was a little concerned that I haven't yet put in my passport application but nevertheless began thinking about who I could invite to accompany me on this great adventure full of Spring Break revellers. Unfortunately, the tickets are in the names of ClareBear and Toots. Bugga.

I have actually been freaking out a little as I think they thought they were going to pick their tickets up in Miami on April 10th . . in readiness for an April 13th Departure on the Love Boat. Sadly no . . the tickets are sitting on my kitchen bench and the timezones are playing havoc with my attempts to contact the Carnival Cruise organisers. Their Toll Free number is obviously for the US only and I haven't been able to contact them via phone. This was made even more difficult by the fact that the booking was made through Cruise Web in Maryland!

Hopefully someone will answer the many emails marked with little red flags and displaying the word URGENT DESPERATE MUMMY NEEDS HELP. I need to know where I should return the tickets or whether they can be reissued in time for the exhausted travellers to experience the cruise of a lifetime. South America isn't an option as they are never in the same place for more than three days, internet access is limited and experience has taught me that it takes 7-10 days for parcel mail to hit the US so they need to be returned to someone soon!

Failing that, anyone up for some quick impersonation of two nubile 23 year olds and wanna share a cruise during the US spring break on the party boat?

17 comments:

nonny said...

US Sring Break yeee haaa!! I'm sure when you eventually contact somebody they will just issue the girls new tickets where ever they are.

Also I can view your blog from work again!!

Grannymar said...

I've booked my spray and my bag is packed! :lol:

Baino said...

Hey Nonny: Glad to hear it. Now all you have to do is write something on your own blog. I'll have to either stay up until 2am and ring or just hope they get the email!

GrannyMar: I'm doing some quick desktop publishing to change the names . . you . . me . . .Miami . . .13 April!

Brianf said...

"URGENT DESPERATE MUMMY NEEDS HELP"
This subject line is going to be deleted as SPAM!
The only MUMMIES here in the States are in museums.
Try Desperate MOM needs help.
If I shave my beard, ya' think I'd pass as 23 year old girl?

K8 the Gr8 said...

You lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky woman. I have absolutely no sympathy for you.

Damian said...

Well, we haven't caught up in a while, so perhaps this cruise is the perfect opportunity...

Quickroute said...

You should still be able to call the US 800 numbers - it'll give you msg saying it's not free and local rates apply - I did it all the time when I was in UK.
Can't join you I'm afraid. The missus forbids me to wear womens clothes especially hers!

Baino said...

Well sorry folks. Turns out thanks to the wonderful American service ethic and the internet, they can download their tickets and present them at the terminal. . .panic over ... damn . .I was looking forward to it! Now I wonder if I can still scratch out their names?

Jefferson Davis said...

Damn, I was ready to drive to Miami!!! :) It is only about an eight and a half hour drive for me. :)

Boshena57 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Damn .... I'm REALLY late!

"impersonation of two nubile 23 year olds " HHAHHAHHHAAAAA!!

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

Hey, I'm up for an impersonation of a nubile 23 year old - any day! Let's go, girl!

Baino said...

Haha. . .looks like a travel companion won't be hard to find next year as long as I'm paying the bill!

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

Sorry mum, I´ll take you on a cruise when I get back and pay off my debt ok

RED MOJO said...

The cruise sounds great! How's the diet going?

Baino said...

Red: Diet schmiet . . I just can't do't capt'n

Ryan said...

Baino, i may have a contact in Carnival Cruises if you get desperate....