More News than New Idea

Too sinusy to post tonight, it's all I can do to prod the remote control. I've decided that when I have sinusitis I am reduced to the genetic composition of a man . . . Hysterectomy is a doddle compared to feeling your teeth throb! Fortunately, my draft library is prolific . . so as they say on the culinary shows . . here's one I prepared earlier!

There are those who check the web, read newspapers, watch the morning tabloid news or thumb through those gossip magazines such as New Idea but I kid you not, you can learn a lot from farriers . . those brown and burley guys who spend their entire day bent in a 45 degree angle, swathed in leather pinnies, sweat dripping from their eyebrows, trimming horse hooves and applying cold shoes with a deft hammer.

I've had the same guys visiting our boys for about 15 years. A father and son combination of "Master Farriers". One well into his sixties is now taking it easy after a hernia operation . . .and The new master, Jeff his son . . probably late 40's tends to be the regular Saturday morning visitor along with his rather surley son who has none of his father' or grandfather's people skills.

But our Jeff is a diamond in the rough with milk bottle-bottom glasses. Well muscled and tanned but a beer belly and a peak cap, blue singlet, trademark leather apron and a love of ski boats with blown donks (over powerful engines apparently). I learned a lot about engines from TheMaster. Even more about skiing, barefoot or otherwise. Even more about the pollution in the Hawkesbury . . .not a place one would want to have a gaping wound apparently due to the phosphates leached into the river from local turf farmers . . seriously, I know of someone who lost a leg, not due to the cut he sustained falling from a waterski but the infection generated by the putrid water - a great incentive not to come off your skis apparently.

I learned that the principal vet in our local equine veterinary clinic is a child abuser (well take that with a grain of salt!), that horse racing is fixed and that jockey's have attitude. Not unlike ponies only unfortunately, farriers can't whack a jockey in the ribs with a hammer if they're obstreperous. I learned that he's pussywhipped and forced to strip and shower before being allowed in the house. He likes it that way and would belt the living Jesus out of anyone who treated him or his poorly. I learned that Monaro's are the coolest cars in the world, but only if they're red with GT stripes (red cars go faster apparently) and that a swift hammer to the ribs is the best way to calm a beligirant pony. I learned that there are over 22 different types of standard horse shoe designed for work, racing in all conditions, eventing, trekking, pulling, endurance, dressage . . . I learned that he has feet the same size as DrummerBoy when he kindly gave us a fantastic pair of 'as new' motocross boots for a mere $50!

I also learned that the girl down the road left her husband because he used to hit her. That the owner of the warmblood over the hill has a disabled daughter. That he had a horse that lived to be 45 years old and that daily doses of Voltarin keep back pain at bay. He's an outrageous gossip, talks a million miles an hour while he's working and gives me a Christmas calendar each year. I know that at 10.00am tomorrow morning, I will be standing in a slippery, muddy patch thanks to overnight downpours, or a hot dusty one depending on the weather, listening to tales of blown donks and speed skis, who's up who and loving everything about it.

Oh, and happy birthday Maddie, sorry I can't make it tonight but I would be poor company . . big hugs! Now you're a tweeny!