Thursday, July 03, 2008

It's All HIS Fault . . .

I should have taken notice of this morning's horoscope:

Taking care of personal business might just have to come first today. It's not that you are less than professional when work-related issues need resolving. It's just that you won't get much accomplished on the job when your mind is worrying about something else. Tackling a tough domestic problem now can free up your mind and turn you into a powerhouse at work later.

I had a late start this morning . . flat battery . . chat with an Oirshman . . power off at 8:30 .so I'm pootling off to work at 8:45 instead of 8.00 . . heading west and the sun is shining into my rear view mirror. I'm a bit late with the lip gloss so park at the lights on Victoria Road . . ready the lip gloss and the sun is shining brightly on my lower face (no before you go all . . women and makeup thing there I was stopped) . . .Aaaaaggggghhhh . . .I swear the other motorists heard the blood curdling scream . . .I'm growing a moustache!

Seriously, as I get older and blinder and since my neutering, menopause has been kind. My lovely Sth African hunkospunk gynecologist told me that after the hysterethingamebob, I'd go into full blown menopause - but I've been lucky. No mood swings, skin's better than ever, no sore boobs before the crimson wave and WAHEY . . . no crimson wave (suck eggs Carefree) but . . the sun shining on my lovely lips exposed a veritable forest of small but potentially devastating black hairs!

So on arrival home tonight . . HE copped it . . "Why didn't you tell me, you know I can't see without my glasses?" . . .he said "What? As if I'd notice that! I can't see anything, you're over reacting!" . . I said "Surely the Fringelet said something about your mustachioed mother?" he said . ."Nup . shuttup I'm watching Futurama" . .I said . . "Yeh but I give you hugs and kiss you goodnight" . . . he said "But I'm not looking at you when you do that!" I thought . . . Useless bastard!

It is a child's responsibility to tell its mother when obtrusive hirsuteness is not cool . . . fortunately I have not got to the plucking the three inch hair from the chin stage so blossom didn't notice but I did!

Nothing a good schloop of Nads and a cotton strip can't fix. This evening, I have a face like a baby's bottom. Apart from the 'red' across the top lip which possibly looks worse than the tash!

Getting old sucks arse!

*Younglings, this is your opportunity to tell everyone that I don't look that bad!
Gratuitous compliments welcome*

27 comments:

ebony said...

Hey!
I'm sorry. I have to tell you that... I laughed at you a little. But I guess when you get older, you get wiser. I'm usually a -know it all and fail, then blame it on the world- person and that's stupid! So um. I'm sorry for rudely just coming in. I "found" you through Emperor Ropis blog. I hope it's ok :)

laughingwolf said...

lol... if THAT'S a pic of YOUR face... :O

not to fret overmuch, just your imagination working overtime....

English Mum said...

1. Nobody EVER looks at our faces as closely as we do our own (bet you own a magnifying mirror too)

2. Hubbies and younglings (in fact, anything male) never notice f*ck all about the feminine form apart from large breasts.

3. Even if they do, it's not in a derisory way. I was lying in bed having a cuddle with my youngest son one morning and he said 'ah, Mummy, you're so beautiful'...and just before I could enjoy the moment fully, he added 'I love the way the sun sparkles on your moustache'.

I rest my case, your honour.

Quickroute said...

Nag Nag Nag! Your complaining about a few little hairs under yer nose?

Howd'ya like to half to shave every day? Or have to pluck unwieldly hairs out of your nose and ears only for them to grow back two fold thicker. Nag Nag Nag! lol

Baino said...

Hello Ebony . . .you can come over any time .. you can laugh at me any time, I often do!

Laughing wolf . . .I like to lower expectations just in case I meet some of my commenters!

EM: At least he NOTICED! Although there's something slightly disturbing about the prospect of my son noticing my large breasts!

Quickroute: I know what you look like, soft as a baby's bum! You shave every day . . get outta town! Damn, does that mean my moustache will grow back two fold?

laughingwolf said...

ah, ok then ;)

Melissa said...

God d@mn those black hairs!! Once Charlotte told me she hoped that she had boobs as LONG as mine someday. Dear Lord.

Grannymar said...

ROFLOL!

I feel your pain. I have all those t-shirts!

steph said...

Baino

I often look at the hairy chin on my 80 year old mother and also that of my 89 year old M-I-L and I think...

OMG! should I warn the family now that when my time comes, I'd like someone to take care of this problem for me so that I don't end up looking like THAT!

Men only sit up and take notice when there's something in it for them!

Nick said...

"Hubbies and younglings (in fact, anything male) never notice f*ck all about the feminine form apart from large breasts"? Excuse me, Eng Mum, but I notice everything. My problem is being diplomatic about the things that J doesn't like but I'm quite happy with, or even turned on by....

A few upper lip hairs? What a big fuss over nothing....

Anonymous said...

HAHAHHAAA!!!!! I shouldn't laugh but it's REALLY late for you to grow "a veritable forest of small but potentially devastating black hairs!"!! Must be the 'English' in you ;) I was angry at my Mum for yet another thing she should have told me about growing old! My kids delight in announcing I'm busy in the bathroom ridding my moustache...

Baino said...

Melissa . . thank God for push up bras!

GM: I had a feeling you might. I hate that Maxine Cartoon woman!

Steph, you have to have a magnifying makeup mirror and a pair of tweezers at the ready! As for telling others, it's mandatory for the sisterhood . . like pointing out a bit of parsley stuck between one's teeth!

Nick yer a SNAG dag! Jenny has a mo?

Anony . . gotta love the lip wax and a good pair of tweezers. Problem is I rarely have my specs on whilst concentrating on my makeup . . *note to self*

Gayé Terzioglu said...

laser... enuff said

Baino said...

Gaye . . trust you, the pamper queen. Laser's cost $, wax is cheap, tweezers are freeeeeeeeeee!

Babysis said...

Ah...alas, upper lip, eyebrows, bikini, underarm, legs, feet.....thank god I havent got nose hair yet1

I feel your pain oldersis, ooh hasnt that got a nice ring to it!

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJUf38v1Qc8

Kath Lockett said...

LOL oh Baino, this is a classic, mate, a classic.....

Baino said...

Babysis . . I feel your pain . .(in the ass if you keep up with that oldersis business!) perhaps I could buy you a depilitory session for your way belated birthday?

Anonymous . . take it easy on the bulmers and red bull . . you're flying!

Kath, the only consolation is I no longer suffer from those bloody pre menstrual blind zits on the right of my chin! Fwoaarrr!

Emperor Ropi said...

I hate horoscopes. I should have been in life danger twice but fortunately I lacked it.

Baino said...

Ropi darling . .they're rubbish but that one just made sense on the day. And by the way, I still thing the person that achieved 100% on your history quiz cheated!

jackmcmad said...

No Fair on the Fringelet!

The last time I told a lady she had a moustache I couldn't pee straight for a week. Saying 'By the way Mum, do you know you have a moustache?' is right up there with;

'Why yes, now that you ask, your ass really does look huge in that!'

I applaud the Fringelet's reserve.

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

Sorry mate, I'm with Adam, you're overreacting!

Baino said...

Jack! Your alive! Nice to see you around again. Yeh, The Fringelet is too sweet to say anything even if she did notice and too often my bum does look big in that!

Clare: Think about when you wake up with puffy allergic eyes!

laughingwolf said...

wuffs are about as hairy as they come ye know ;)

Nick said...

Baino, Jenny has virtually no body hair at all, how lucky is that? Certainly no upper lip hair. She must be awash with female hormones.

Emperor Ropi said...

Well if I trust in Szélsőfa and she scored 100% on the last quiz and I think it was the easiest one and I asked the US girl on her blog whether she used her and she got pissed off including her friends and started telling not really nice things about me. So that's the story. And I emphasise, THE US girl.

Baino said...

None at all Nick? Lucky girl!

Ropi: That's very immature of the US kids! From my experience US students in high school are taught 'world history' (not much of it) economics, and US history so the US student must have studied Ancient History independently or fluked the score! I'm on my way over to see who won! (haha certainly wasn't me!)