Wednesday, May 13, 2009


The Madhouse is back again, another week another topic. This week it's Psychic. I have one or two tales of the supernatural but I think they can wait.

I have an iGoogle page . . you know the usual - weather in Dublin and Budapest, Capetown and New York, Carolina etc. . . I like to know how hot or cold my bloggers are. There's The Register and a couple of other bits and pieces, Daily News, Blogthings and of course the daily horoscope.

Now I don't believe these, so why do I have a horoscope on my home page? I've never been to a clairvoyant, never had my Tarot read, was totally put off seance and wija after my son freaked out in front of a wija board. In fact, apart from an undying belief in the power of nature, I am a total sceptic. Yep you can bend spoons before my eyes, tell me my grandmother's maiden name and predict my future and I'll put it all down to a load of bunkum.

Yet still, I'm compelled like a blonde dog hair to a pair of black pants to read this generic little snippet that will tell me what to expect with Mercury rising and Venus in my anus.

Oh Yeah? Well get a load of this:

The lunar eclipse on February 9 will bring stressful messages about social issues. Falling in Leo, it will highlight either a friendship or a role you’re playing within a group or charity. A very close friend may move away or do something that changes the very nature of your friendship.

The possibilities are broad here - your friend may show a lack of loyalty to you - as in a betrayal - or may simply be moving into a new phase of her life, say by getting married or having a baby. Either way, it doesn’t seem like the two of you will have the same kind of friendship that you’ve had, and realizing this may make you a bit sad.

In February, my best friend told me that my position was being re-evaluated. Intended as a 'heads up' and believe me, it worked but I was devastated, emotional, angry, bitter and frankly very rude to someone who did everything in her power to prevent things turning out the way they did. Spooky yeah? Don't worry, we'll be OK. We've been together for 35 years so a little thing like a REDUNDANCY probably won't harm things too much.

Saturn (insecurity in your hidden enemy house - you can say that again!) and Uranus (I knew my anus would creep in there somewhere) in health and work matters, are not supporting you near this time. If you were born near 12 then things could be really hard to handle.

I was born on the 16th October and yes, insecurity and work matters have been insane. "Not supporting me" you don't say!

Good news is about Jupiter, it is moving in your creative matters whole year. Whatever happens to you near this time, you have opportunity to bounce back in last nine months of 2009.

Oooh, light at the end of the tunnel. Only six months to come to fruition. Re the creative thingy. I have been helping young ClareBear with her business and marketing plans, costing analysis and Adam with business names, promotional tacs and launching their various businesses and websites.

Another lunar eclipse is happening on July 7 in your fourth house of property, domestic environment, home, or mother. If you are selling or buying a house, make a list of all contingencies that could possibly come up and draw up solutions for every one of them. If you are about to rent a new apartment or buy a house, the right space will appear. Ask about electrical systems and be sure your computer, television, and other equipment will be able to run easily without a blowout; both are blinking areas of your chart. You will want to make sure outlets are not overloaded.

Definitely selling a house although not a bite since March 2008 but it is getting cold down under and the heaters have been trawled out for the evenings. I have two heaters. An oil filled Dimplex in the lounge and a radiant heater in the living room . . if I boil the kettle . . yep . .trip the circuit breaker! And it's a cold walk out to the fuse box in bare feet I can tell you! And I'm not even starting on that tiny bat that has been living there for umpteen years.

Another solar eclipse is happening in your career house on July 22. If you were born near end of Libra, this is great opportunity to celebrate a career success. You are in middle of career changes. These eclipses in your tenth house would change your perceptions about your social status. You have unexpected support from your boss. Your boss may give you news of promotion but it may involve location change.

Hmmm . . well time will tell on this one but I have been applying for a lot of jobs in the city and even sent one off to Melbourne by accident today. Wouldn't that be hilarious if I was called to interview in Melbourne?

A solar eclipse is always also a new moon, known to open a whole new path. Your daily routine will soon seem very different after this new moon appears, with many people to become acquainted with, and you will be given new standards to meet. You are ready, for all that you have done in past years has prepared you for this. You simply need to step up and take your prize. Your new position will compensate you generously.

Shit yeah! See, I believe this one . . .

Don’t resist the process, even if you are a little scared about changing jobs. Welcome change. You can handle it. Often we have to give up something for an eclipse to make room for the new, and we have to be courageous about moving forward when something intriguing is offered us. If you were born near 22, this eclipse will be good for you. This eclipse would have impact on you for at least next six months. You would take at least one major career initiative near this time.

Scared . . frankly I'm terrified. It's awful moving out of your comfort zone but I know my limitations and my skills. So, looking pretty positive - Wackadoo!

May 24 –New moon you will probably travel, embark on higher education or think seriously about religion.

Well Clare and I are having a mini break from 20th to 26th of May visiting friends and my niece in Melbourne - can't wait frankly. Nah sorry religion won't factor in unless the plane hits turbulence and I'll be calling on God to stop it! Stop it now!

If you were born during 15 to 27 date range in Libra, then this year would be more about many new initiatives. Most of new moons and solar eclipses are happening in your part. Among them major are romantic and creative initiative in first half of the year and social and career initiative in second half of the year.

Totally missed out on the Romantic and creative beginning of the year yet still I remain hopeful in relation to the second half - so Mr Right, if you're there, there's still six weeks left before we hit the second half - Looking good!

If you learn that your job has been downsized, be comforted in the knowledge that it will be for the best. In time you will find something far better, because aspects ahead look spectacular.

Spectacular! Now I'm a real believer . . bring on the psychics!
And the first one to make a soppy comment about my job prospects (not that I haven't appreciated them to date but time to stop now) will be sent a jar of Vegemite and forced to eat it on white processed bread with lashings of butter - from a cow - full of cholesterol - not that chemical stuff!

Horoscope courtesy - yes it does have three 'e's'


Brian Miller said...

lol. love your commentary. and avoiding the vegemite like the plague...had my palm read once. evidently i will be a rock star one of these days. any excuse to wear leather pants i guess. lol.

River said...

White bread, real butter, vegemite. yum. I love it. It's even better on a fresh bread roll. But it HAS to be butter. Margarine and vegemite is just not right.
I love reading my horoscope. Sometimes it's scarily accurate, other times it's obviously referring to all the other Leos out there, not me.

Grannymar said...

I'm saying nuttin!

Marianna said...

I love your comments on the horoscope's 'predictions'!

I don't believe in horoscopes myself but I like reading the general characteristics of every sign. I always wonder, everytime someone reads them and says "it describes me so accurately!" people identify because they believe or because the wanna believe (like the x-files or something:)

Have a great day lol

Gledwood said...

Astrologers themselves say the daily columns you get in newspapers etc are just a bit of fun. With 6 billion people in the world after all each star sign would apply to 500 million people ...
Having said all that I used to be into some of that new agey stuff. I could read tarot cards. Years later I tried to convince myself they were done-by-numbers type readings. But I kept a book of them and was surprised, on rereading to find how detailed and sophisticated the predictions were.
I also bought a crystal ball for about £50. Real rock crystal! It did work but only lit up full on the once. And guess what I saw? Spiders webs everywhere... I wonder what THAT meant??
PS this was BEFORE I became a raving junkie...

nick said...

Nah, all coincidence, ambiguity and lucky guesswork, how can they possibly know how your particular life is going to pan out? Still, if it makes you feel better....

As you know, all the predictions given to me by clairvoyants, palmists et al all turned out to be total nonsense. A vivid imagination must be the main requirement for the job.

laughingwolf said...

so okay, where's the damn link to that 'horrorscope', awreddy? :O lol

Kath Lockett said...

Well, at least 'Ross' has avoided mentioning anything about your job prospects and I'll just say that I'm a Scorpio and hate the way we're defined - I'm no whip wielding hard-hearted man-killer! (at least not when I'm awake)

Candie Bracci said...

Hi Baino,

To me,astrology is a science and like others,it depends if you good at your job or not.Of course,it's not for all people with the same signs,it depends on your birth chart.What I think it's that it would be good to have your horoscope personnalized,the best way to avoid crazy and fakes,it's to learn it yourself.It's long and complicated but I find fascinating though.They are real good astrologers but how can you see through all those shitty greedy liars who want to get money and who don't know shit about nothing?Ok,that's another subject,lol.
No it's because it reminds me of a crazy woman who was sending me so many messages for me to pay money to have my future read,it was so much and rude and too much,man.I replied to her that it wasn't the best way to help others,that if you really have a gift,you don't act like that.She got real upset.I should have kept those messages and sue her ass or their asses,whatever.They are still on the net though,but apparently they have done that to others too.WTF,see it's because of people like that,that others who really have a gift and who are kind hearted,are not taken seriously.And that's pissing me off,so much,you have no idea.I will wipe all that way!ok,now i'm pissed but not at you lovely Baino.
I wish you all the best in everything.I now shall remove my passionate sword from your comments space,LOL.

Have a nice day!:)

Candie Bracci said...

oh that was a long comment!lol

ian said...


Having spent a full day at astronomy lectures yesterday, that stuff is the biggest load of bovine excrement.

Astrologers are the contemporary
equivalent of the charlatans who sold cures in travelling shows. The stuff is as deterministic and devaluing of human independence as the sociologists who say that if you live in a council house with an outside toilet you become a scumbag.

Baino said...

Ooh Brian . . leather pants? As long as you fill them properly if you know what I mean. Nothing worse than a pair of saggy bummed leathers.

Actually River I agree.

Wise move GM!

Marianna I'm a typical Libran given the description of the sign except I'm not very stylish.

Gleds, I'm still a sceptic but can't resist them. I think the generic ones are suitably vague so you can pretty much read anything into it. My sister's right into all that stuff. Wouldn't mind a crystal ball for the fun of it. Adam had an 'experience' with a wija board once and won't go near anything remotely psychic since

Nick I don't get how they can be based on the 'stars' when the configuration of the heavens is changing all the time! Changed quite a bit since the beginning of alchemy that's for sure!

Wuffa, just google, there's a squillion of em! Try Susan Miller's Astrology Zone, not bad. Oh and I predict there will be a new member of your household very soon.

Haha . .Ross has got the chop! Clearly he was attracted to Brian's leather pants! Whip weilding man killer? Maybe not but I bet there's a 'sting' in your tail sometimes . . I know a few scorpios

Candie I did ring one once. I had people round for a barbecue and lots of teens over as well. One took off her jewellery to go and have a swim and it was never seen again. We had a 'suspect' in mind but couldn't find the bracelets anywhere. So I rang an astrologer and she told me who had taken the bracelet . . indeed he had! Go figure. Yep I had one of those constant messaging women too. Very annoying. Now sheath thy sword and have a great day!

Ian I tend to agree no matter how compelling or true they seem to be. They're not getting a cent of my dosh that's for sure. Although I will never walk under a ladder and may wish upon a falling star . .

Melanie said...

ok, now horoscopes i can dig as in times of turmoil due to my lack of a god I may have turned to them wishing they were real but if you start joining cults that require you to slap dead fish across your back 2000 times to appease the employment goddess and bring you good fortune well then I might just have to tut tut Altho I think I would slap myself with dead fish to worship a weightloss god if he promised to make me thinner.....
Am I rambling in your comments again? I cant help it, I dont have to be restrained here and your commentors(sp?) crack me up lol:P

jay said...

Mmmm! Vegemite on white bread with real butter and lots of it! You devil you!! I am now seriously considering mentioning your job prospects, and if I weren't now yeast intolerant, I darned well would! LOL!

Ces said...

I love hosroscopes and zodiac interpretations because I love my sign. However, I only believe the good predictions and pleasant interpretations. When it is unfavorable, I don't believe them, that's when it's crap!

Dot-Com said...

Commenting on the predictions is the best. Never just believe 100%

@ Brian - we'll want to see the picture, you know!

Annie Ha said...

"compelled like a blonde dog hair to a pair of black pants"

that gave me a good, hearty chuckle.

kj said...

here's the thing, baino: if the moon controls the movement of the tides and 90% of our body is water, doesn't it follow that the planets have some effect?

that said, i listen in broad strokes, not newspaper sentences. i happen to like susan miller's approach. she's comprehensive and i like being treated intelligently.


ps you'd be shocked at a good tarot reading. i've done hundreds of them and the "accuracy" amazes me....

laughingwolf said...

geez baino, yez moust be phyzzic! :P lol

Renee said...

All I can say is that is spooky.


i beati said...

Sweet - is that soppy?