Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Fuckwit


Tonight it's one side of our coat of arms, the famous boxing marsupial that gets the coveted monika of Friday Fuckwit . . .

Happy hops damage poppy crops . . .

Wallabies breaking into poppy farms in search of food are getting more than they bargain for.

The mystery of crop circles which have appeared from time to time in and around Tasmania's legal opium poppy fields may have been solved. It seems it is not aliens, but junkie wallabies hopping around in dazed circles!

Poppies are grown in Tasmania for morphine, manufactured by pharmaceutical companies all over the world but it appears humans are not the only ones who have discovered that the poppies contain narcotics.

Recently retired farmer Lyndley Chopping spent more than 30 years growing poppies and he has seen wallabies acting strangely in his fields. "They would just come and eat some poppies and they would go away. They'd come back again and they would do their circle work in the paddock," he said. "They seem to know when they've had enough (unlike the average addict). They'll still be around and they would leave them alone.

But the state's largest poppy producer, Tasmanian Alkaloids, has noticed a pattern in the wallabies' behaviour. Rick Rockliff, the company's field operations manager stated, "Often other forms of food are in short supply in late January/February and poppy capsules, half their weight is actually seed which is very nutritious. It's a seed you see on bread rolls and in bread mixtures and things like that."

"But in the process of eating open the capsule it's quite possible they do ingest a little bit of the capsule material that does contain the alkaloids and this can have some short-term effect. "They are, after all, a narcotic and ingested in big amounts, can have an effect."

there are doubts however that the stoned kangas are becoming addicted. They appear to be free of the predictable digestive problems that would accompany such an addiction. They seem to like their drugs in moderation.

At least it might stop the bouncy bastards from drinking our beer! And . . .what about introducing mobs of kangaroos into Afghanistan and the Golden Triangle . . .problem solved!

19 comments:

Gledwood said...

Nothing like a good poppy seed bun!!

subtorp77 said...

Lemon poppy-seed cake! We were told the Sardinians used poppy to aide in fermenting their wine (the Navy told us that, so not sure if it's true or not )I never had a problem with it, nor did I get a "positive", in testing. HA!

And the 'roo pic; hilarious :)

Brian Miller said...

poppied up hoppies...what ever is the world coming to? beware the drug test for the new job eh? lol. smart buggers with the moderation...

Ces said...

Hahaha! What a riot! I wonder what's next? The koalas getting into heroin.

laughingwolf said...

lol... good plan to ship em outta oz, to where they'd do a LOT of good ;)

and yeah, i love my poppy seed buns, even sprinkle seeds on eggs :)

nick said...

These wallabies, what scamps they are. The next thing you know, they'll be writing psychedelic songs and we'll all be crazy about the Wallaby Sound.

Susan at Stony River said...

That photo looks like me in the morning...

i beati said...

perfect remedy ahhaha

Colette Amelia said...

Well you learn something new everyday! Poppy farmers! What will be next? Foxglove farmers for the digitalis? Perhaps they do!

hmmm I think I gotta run and whip up some poppyseed muffins!

Christopher said...

I love the "Illegal Use of Crop May Cause Death" sign. I guess the wallabies can't read. And why is the kangaroo in that picture drinking Budweiser? Shouldn't he be drinking Castlemaine XXXX?

jay said...

Hahahahaha!! Maybe opioids do not affect marsupial digestive tracts in the same way they do ours? I bet they didn't think of that? LOL!

kj said...

to take nothing away from your fine story telling skills, dear baino, but that picture is worth a thousand words.

i'll be chuckling all night.

xo

Dot-Com said...

He he, what a sight that must be when those wallabies are hopping around totally high on poppy seeds! Awwwww *lol*

Kate said...

Amazing - poppy popping, hippy hoppies! I love it!

Kath Lockett said...

Ah but Baino, what are the sheilas hiding in their pouches???

River said...

I used to love poppy seed buns, but now that I'm older with many more fillings in my teeth, I have to avoid poppy seeds. Getting them out of the teeth crevices is a nightmare.

Ces said...

Hello Dear! That animal looks very satisfied!

Megan said...

that's hilarious!

VE said...

Ah, much more detail than mine two second bit. Yeah...it's taken me this long to get around to it...I'm that slow...