Thursday, November 12, 2009

Telephone

We don't have a telephone. Well we did but the line rental was costing more than the calls so, like so many mobile phone bearing families we had it disconnected. Now you have to pay big bucks to call us or contact us on Skype for free!

I cannot for the life of me remember telephone numbers except my sisters' and only because the last digits are 1610 - my birthday 16th October.

I can use a computer, work a DVD recorder, master four remote controls but I can't use predictive text

My first telephone in my first flat was a burnt orange coloured wall phone . . very fashionable in the 70's. It matched my VW Beetle.

I remember walking about 6kms to the nearest telephone box so that I could have a private conversation with my boyfriend and not have my mother nagging me to hang up at home. I never understood why she was so bothered about it. Nobody ever rang us after 7pm.

My Grandpa bought me a marble faux antique telephone for a wedding present. It was packed so badly that it had smashed to smitherines by the time he arrived at the wedding from England in 1979. He just said he was sorry and didn't buy me another present. I suspect someone gave it to him.

I have a wonderful telephone manner and a young voice so I can flirt outrageously with helpdesk and customer service people and they think I'm about 21.

My phone is also my alarm and wakes me up with birdsong every morning, it's so shrill that I have to turn it off in a nanosecond before it wakes everyone else.

I hate answering machines. I hang up. Actually, I'm not fond of talking on the phone but in the absence of lunch and fine wine . . it's the best way to keep in touch.

The best way to deter a caller with sexual harassment on his mind is to have a referee's whistle and blow it loudly at the 'breather'. A nice policeman gave me that tip.

My lifeline is my telephone line. OK it no longer feeds into a conventional phone but it powers my naked ADSL well most of the time. I was without Internet for three hours last night until a nice man called Ari seemed to actually know what he was talking about.

I once called a clairvoyant to see if I could ascertain the identity of someone who nicked a visitor's piece of jewellery. I think she got it right but it cost me $7 a minute!

I first heard this song in 1977 on what was then Double J AM radio . .it's now Triple J FM and I've been listening to the same station ever since. Some of their DJ's weren't even born in 1977! Now that's customer loyalty and I must be one of their oldest fans. Free stuff please TripleJ?



Now go see what other Theme Thursday contributors have conjoured up on their telephones. Or call me, call me now . . . email and I'll give you my Skype address. All you need is a microphone, either in your PC or via headphones and the will to talk to someone in the Antipodes. . .

46 comments:

Mim said...

I wish I wasn't so terrified of talking on the phone. But I am, sorry state. I can only really talk to my mom, MIL, brother, DH and BFF without breaking into a sweat. Despite that, I have a land line and a mobile (two actually, one mine, one from work) most of which never ring, but when they do....I don't answer.

I have Skype too but don't use it. The thought of talking out loud, and SEEING someone makes me sweat even harder.

I'm a bum.

otin said...

Funny, I don't mind talking to strangers, but it is family that I shy away from. There is always some issue with family. I might look into skype one of these days!

Tom said...

i am computer illiterate...neverheard of skype!
and someday will drop the old land line, but don't own a cell phone! i own a brontosaurous. very funny song choice...hoo hee!

Brian Miller said...

your phone matched your var...nice. we dont have a land line either...havent for a couple years. i talked to a psychic once...she told me i'd be a rock star...i want my moeny back. happy thursday baino!

willow said...

Why were our mothers so bent out of shape about us being on the phone for more than five minutes? It just sat there collecting dust! ;^)

Alan Burnett said...

A thoroughly enjoyable post. And so many telephone memories there. I remember walking miles to phone Isobel when we were both young and neither of the families had phones. We would walk to designated phone boxes and phone at designated times. And that is a wonderful video too . Theme Thursday at its best.

laughingwolf said...

i need my landline, packaged with my dsl and cellphone for best price

i beati said...

I got rid of my expensicve cell phone when telemarketers started eating up my minutes..sad

nick said...

I remember when phones were still scarce and some people didn't have their own line, they shared a "party" line with a neighbour. And if you wanted a "long distance" number you would have to go through a switchboard. My, how things have moved on.

The referee's whistle sounds like a good tip for all those unwanted cold callers too.

Candie Bracci said...

lol,that was a great post!Thanks for the tip too!It might be useful!lol and yeah I'm not surpised you don't remember phone numbers cause you said previously that you don't remember birthdays so..Have a nice day!;)

Roy said...

A lot of people here in the States are ditching their landlines and going totally mobile, too.

The video is great, especially all the old phones and switchboards.

BTW, re: Vika and Linda Bull... They're not Maoris from NZ; they were born and raised in Adelaide. Mother was Tongan and Dad was the Aussie.

hokgardner said...

When my beloved grandmother died two years ago, my dad and his brothers discovered that she was still paying rental - 25 cents a month - for the rotary phone upstairs in the tv room. Nona had no idea that in this day and age, one could actually purchase a telephone.

Kate Hanley said...

Great phone memories. We don't have a landline, haven't had one in a while. I just got my kids a cell phone for when I'm not home. But because of the cell phone I dont' have anyone's number memorized because they are all in my phone so it sucks if someone calls and asks if I know someone else's number because I have to call them back in order to look it up in my phone. Skype sounds nice, I'll have to look into it.

Stephanie said...

I'm glad to hear there is at least one other person out there unable to text!

AngelMay said...

Wondering here... can I drop my land-line and still have access to my DSL which is via the telephone company? Doesn't it need a land-line? Enjoyed your post very much, Baino.

e said...

I hate texting, too! I'll have to check out Skype. Nice post, Baino.

Don't Bug Me! said...

I hate answering machines too. People should be there to answer the phone when I ring. If they aren't, I hang up. As for a cell phone. Well, I am not good with that either. I do have one, but I tend to forget to turn it on. Or, if it is on, I forget to recharge it. Now, Skype I can do, although I don't like the fact that I have to go and do my hair first, worry about Mr. DBM walking past naked and that I can't pick my nose while talking to someone. I did get a lovely view of my sister in law's boobs once.........

Ropi said...

We still have telephone but I hate it. Strangers are calling us with stupid offers and so on. On cell phone I am not really called. I am not so popular thank God.

Baino said...

Oh Mim! You must be very shy! I don't care much for the phone but I think mainly due to having used one so much at work in my previous job.

Otin, you'd talk the leg off a chair! And do look into Skype, just promise not to sing to me!

Skype's a peer to peer messaging and free computer to computer voice system. Very good for talking to people overseas.

Hah . . . well you almost made it in the metal world didn't you Brian?

Willow I have no idea, it really bothered her that I was having an hour long conversation. Then our phone was in full earshot of the family room and the dog enjoyed the walk!

Aww that's so romantic Alan. I can't imagine not having a phone at all and these days, public phones are few and far between.

Ah well I have the 'line' still. That's what the broadband comes through but I don't have a phone attached to it, just the ADSL.

Hmm . . fortunately Sandy, I don't get too many nuisance calls. I did on the landline!

I remember party lines Nick. I think my Nana might have had one for a while. Fortunately, we have a 'nuisance' register here and cold calls are not permitted unless they're a political party, charity or emergency services.

Hehe . nothing wrong with your memory Candie!

GAH well I knew they were Polynesian Roy, thanks for clearing that one up!

What on earth is a rotary phone? I'll have to google that one.

You're right Kate, I really must transcribe some of the numbers because I'm stuffed if I lose my phone.

Stephanie, I'm hopeless and frankly I don't have the inclination to learn.

Angel May you're right you do need a phone line for ADSL and often it's cheaper to get the phone/internet option. My ADSL comes through the current line but there's no quarterly line rental, everything is included in the ISP's bill.

Thanks e it was a quickie and I'm so glad I found that song, it was the first thing I remembered when I saw the theme.

DBM I hate those messages where people 'sound' like they've answered the phone and start a faux conversation just long enough for you to get sucked in! I don't have a webcam so I can look a sight on Skype!

Ropi it's illegal to cold call here but I did get a lot of charities ringing for donations and it's hard to keep saying no. No, I don't get many calls on my mobile either. Mainly the kids telling me there whereabouts and whether they'll be home for dinner!

Betsy said...

When I was a teen we had a 'breather' prank caller quite often. I haven't thought of that in years. I think we blew a loud whistle in his ear! ha!

Ropi said...

Well, weekends are not motivating me recently. When I was approximately 6 years old I was so happy when I thought the Prime Minister was calling me but it turned out it was a fake call. :D

Megan said...

I keep meaning to get skype and I just haven't got around to it - it would be fun to talk to you!

Poetikat said...

Baino, I don't know about anyone else, but I want to hear your flirty telephone voice.

Ronda Laveen said...

You so reminded me of how, when I was a teenager, I would walk to either the burger stand or the gas station to use the pay phones for private conversations. Ha!

Loved the story of your grandfather's smashed wedding gift.

Hey! My word verification is "malls." There must be a shopping trip in our future. Yeah!

Wings said...

Wow - That was a lot of information in a short amount of time! :)

Darlene said...

At my age I have been through about every type of phone invented. Experience isn't doing me much good now though. Since my cochlear implant talking on a phone is very stressful. I can only hear in one ear and that's where the implant processor is. I am always knocking it off with the receiver and have to put it back together to continue the conversation. I can't hear on a cell phone so I am stuck with the land line. I need it for my PC anyhow.

Darlene said...

I just watched the video and it brought memories. I was a telephone operator like the gal in the video, but we never had a rest. Four or five lights would be showing at the same time and we had to take care of them immediately. Number please, number please, number please. It was never ending and I said it in my sleep.

JeffScape said...

Skype is definitely cool. The new Windows Live Messenger is pretty tight, as well.

Damian Damjanovski said...

Why the heck can't you use Predictive text? It's SO easy! Shall I give you lessons in T9 next time I see you?

Grannymar said...

I Know, I know, I owe you a Skype call. One of these days I will get organised. Way back in a prehistoric life I worked a switchboard like that one in the video. Gosh, it brought back memories.

Renee said...

So funny about the phone and your grandpa.

Now is that boss of yours at work still being a total bitch? What the hell is her problem.

Love Renee xoxo

Colette Amelia said...

Hey I have skype! we should talk!

great post!

VE said...

I just called your sister and asked if her refrigerator was running...

kj said...

i am madly in love with my new iphone. it does everything: camera, phone, notes, calender, address and phone book, blogs, email, youtube, calculator, weather, maps--all with the push of one cute icon.

i am not savvy about these things so if i can work it, anyone can.

when i get skype you are the first person i call. i actually long to hear your voice, esp now that i know you're a flirtatious 21 year old.

please tell that bitchboss to take a long walk off a short pier.

love you, honeyhells,
kj

River said...

"...orange....very fashionable in the 70's.." Yup, had the orange vinyl chairs around my laminex table, orange curtains at the windows of my rented flat, my bridesmaids dresses were orange. Gah! What was I thinking? Although I have to admit my decorating taste these days isn't much better.
I'm not a fan of telephones either, even talking face to face makes me nervous until I get to know a person. Usually this takes me a couple of years....

Baino said...

Betsy it's a great trick. Works like a charm!

Aww Ropi . . most people at six years of age would rather have a call from Elmo than the Prime Minister!

Well when you do. . . give me a call.

Ditto Kat. I'm not hard to find and the timezones mean I'm usually around in your evenings or early mornings.

OH he was hopeless! Packed it in brown paper and threw it in the 'hold' for 30 hours. Actually, I didn't like it but . . .

Hehe . . I talk a bit too much I think Wings

Oh Darlene, I didn't realise you had hearing problems. Thank goodness for the internet. It's a great way for the hearing impaired to keep in touch. My mum did a stint as an operator before she started nursing, sounds very much the same.

Jeff it helped me keep in touch with my daughter when she was travelling but it's actually an American I've never met that got me onto it in the first place, we still chat!

Oh I knew you'd chastise me. I dunno, just never been bothered. You can teach me kk?

Yes Mrs you do! Although I haven't had time to log in much in the evenings. Weekends are good though.

Actually Renee, She was but this week she's practically brimming. Ha! Probably cos I'm down the other end of the building!

We should Collette. Email me and I'll send you my skype address.

Was it? Where to? Will it come back?

GAH Mine's just a little flip top Samsung. Adam has an iPhone which seems to do everything except make a cup of tea at 6am. Haha! Well I would be if you were a 20 something toy boy!

It was indeed groovey and matched my 70's olive green benchtops. Whoever thought those two colours looked good together? Haha . . nah I can talk the leg off a chair most times.

The Man at the Pub said...

I can't figure out predictive text either, but I don't consider myself technologically challenged.

So what is your internet, mobile, 'nekkid' DSL, cable?

We pay $36 per month on top of our net bill just to rent the bloody phone line! And we only use mobiles, but we can't change to naked ADSL because they apparently cant blimmin' do it our area! It's not like we live in the bleaches; we're 8km from a large, modern city of 4 million people!

We've been kept in the telecommunication dark ages in Australia, paying huge fees for primitive service for far too long and you can thank Telstra and it's sweet political deals for all of that. Bastards!!!


Oh, and thanks for letting me have a three-stubby rant on your blog. I was getting a bit bored of my own.

Baino said...

Ha! That's alright I've got three chardy writer's block trying to find an amusing Friday Fuckwit! It's $89 a month with iiNet (cheapest) but it's 40G download and 30G upload which is pretty huge. Frankly, we've had hassles with routers dropping off the LAN and it's not as fast as I'd like it to be but then that's the Aussie network rather than the line. I read some blogs that have me bouncing from bloody Port Moresby of all places! Skype's free PC to PC . . or you can open an account and it's still cheaper mobile to mobile, mobile to landland. We all have Macs (two laptops and an iMac) so there are microphones in the screens. No need for headphones and mics and the reception's good. Frankly I don't think naked DSL is any better than ADSL thanks to our shitty broadband. Ok now I've got the four chardy writer's block!

Dreamhaven said...

loved the post and the video. Happy TT

...mmm... said...

Skype? oh no, that;s way past my level--up there with texting, actually beyond it I'm afraid.

I only recently got a cell phone abou ta year ago adn i sue it more as a watch thatn anything else, but I like the security it offers...jsut in case. I've ven used it as a torch to find my keys in teh dark at the cinema! LOL.

lettuce said...

wall phones! ah now, those were great, weren't they?

I hated predictive text at first but now i've got used to it and it often makes me laugh. when i type in my daughter's name the first thing it comes up with is "pms"

and i use skype sometimes. when i remember to log in. i'll send you a message! :-)

Jaime said...

i've never used skype, but i have lots of clients who are annoyed that my office has all this hi-tech videoconferencing equipment but don't have skype...

Melanie said...

oh that is the coolest you tube song I have seen all week. I loved it. As for phones, I keep wanting to ditch my land line because I HATE telstra but I am sentimental and keep it. Plus I use the excuse I have a home business. I still HATE telstra. Infact I probably just posted this comment to express my HATE for telstra.

Rebecca said...

I have to say, I haven't heard that song in at least 30 years..LOL!! How funny! I remember my Mother would sing it when we were kids and we would roll on the floor laughing the way she would sing, " Hey.. Loddy... Loddy...LOL! too funny...

Dot-Com said...

What a great lot of phone facts - cool take on the theme. Skype is wonderful, and better still for having been invented by a Dane. Yeah!

Kate said...

as an ex-telephonist for the pre British Telecom , Post Office - a true 'Hello Girl' in fact - I love the phone and, like you I flirt outrageously too, the delights of my 'phone voice'.

At work now we use Skype to keep in touch with our colleagues in different countries so its on all the while - at home for my friends and family and at work for my colleagues, friends and family - I like the instant message function especially when I'm already on the phone!!

So - whats your Skype name then???? Oh wait I'll try to guess....