Friday, July 16, 2010

Friday Fucktopus

Well the Vuvuzelas have been piled on the proverbial garbage heap (shame they're not biodegradable) or perhaps they've been distributed to the SA police for use as whipping sticks. Spain is still partying hard after their World Cup win, my wonderful Aussie hat has been relegated to the back of the wardrobe and I guess it's just a matter of time before I have to give back the MASSIVE borrowed digital television loaned to us to watch the footy and which I will sorely miss.

This week's Fuckwit . . .the person who named the psychic octopus who accurately predicted the outcome of all the final 8 games "Paul!" . . what were you thinking!

I know! Had to post this, who ever thought of an erotic octopus but hey . . I digress.

This isn't really a Friday Fuckwit but it's a cute story anyway.  
Octopus Paul may very well have psychic powers and an ability to predict the future, says one of Australia's top cephalopod researchers.


Museum Victoria's head of science, Dr Mark Norman, has been studying octopuses, squids, cuttlefishes and nautiluses - otherwise known as the cephalopods - for more than two decades.

While Dr Norman admits to being an Octopus Paul sceptic, he says the sea creature should not be underestimated.

"They're clever animals with big brains and they do amazing things," he said. "It's very impressive what Paul has done and I don't know if it's psychic or not, but they're animals that are capable of amazing things, so who can tell.

Octopus Paul has become a World Cup sensation by correctly forecasting the results of Germany's seven games in South Africa and finishing the tournament in style by predicting a Spanish victory in the final.

The eight-limbed Mediterranean octopus would make his prediction by choosing between two containers of food marked with the flags of the competing countries. But Dr Norman says he is wary of the science behind Paul's string of eight correct predictions. For one, he says octopuses are colourblind, so the colour of the flag is irrelevant to Paul.

"But having said that I don't want to underestimate how amazing these animals are and how clever they are... they're doing pretty well for a super snail relative.

"They can recognise individual people in a crowd, they can unscrew the lids off jars, they can collect up half coconut shells and carry them around like portable armour and jump inside if something comes along.

"So they're doing cool things out there beyond their psychic abilities."  Better than psychic. Dr Norman says in the wild, octopuses do far more interesting things than predicting the future.
"We've got one octopus called the mimic octopus in Indonesia that we discovered that impersonates poisonous black and white sea snakes by putting six arms down a hole and waving the other two around like a writhing sea snake," he said.   "It can also swim up in a water column impersonating poisonous lionfish with all the barbs sticking out on its body so it's sort of like the ultimate shape changer."  He says all octopuses have an amazing ability to shapeshift and camouflage.  "Their skin is a super high resolution colour changing organ - they were doing 3D high definition TV as skin about a hundred million years before we got out of the trees," he said.  "And because they've got no hard shell, an animal that's a metre across could squeeze through a hole the size of about a 20 cent piece, they can squeeze their eyes out of shape and pull their soft brains through the middle of these holes.


"They're also very clever at finding their crab or prawn or fish prey, they can drill through shells and poison the occupant inside and then crawl inside and eat the scallop or whatever it is."

He says Australia has 76 recognised octopus species, including the spaghetti octopus, which has long, thin arms that look like spaghetti, and the deadly blue-ringed octopus.  "They have flashing blue police lights to warn everybody to keep away because they're full of poison, which is enough to kill people in about two minutes," he said.  "Some of the big octopuses get to a three or four metres arm span and some of them are the size of your fingernail, so there are many octopus variations."


Dr Norman says whether Paul has psychic powers or not, one thing is for certain: this is Paul's last set of World Cup predictions.  He says most octopuses only live to be one to three years old, and Paul is already two-and-a-half.  "It's definitely Paul's last World Cup prediction, unless he becomes a champion of octopus longevity.
A Spanish town which celebrates an annual octopus festival has requested that Paul, be allowed to join them as a guest of honour this year.  O Carballino, in the north-western Galicia region, hopes the eight-legged oracle would be allowed by aquarium staff in Oberhuasen, Germany to travel to the festival on August 8.

Paul has already been rewarded with honorary citizenship of the town with several Galician businessmen collecting 30,000 euros to make an offer to buy the soccer soothsayer, according to press reports.


He has become a symbol of Spain's World Cup victory with Andres Iniesta, the scorer of the winning goal over the Netherlands in the final, carrying a plastic octopus as the team were acclaimed in Madrid on Monday.
Travelling to this region of Spain could prove hazardous for Paul, as octopus is a delicacy, particularly in Galicia, where the speciality is boiled and served finely sliced with paprika, olive oil and boiled potatoes.

Thank you so much for your well wishes regarding the job. It's been a hard slog trying to get there but I feel good about this one.

It's a beautiful sunny but cold Friday in the antipodes . . .you northerners keep cool while we southerners stoke our fires.  Have a good one folks!

Oh and if you play Theme Thursday and you DON'T (sorry 'e') properly link your post and not your blog to the Mr Linky widget, I will out you next Friday. Name you and shame you. We Saturday catcher upperers need to link directly. Please possums. Don't make me do it. I loves yous all!



33 comments:

Alan Burnett said...

Paul was born in England and emigrated to Germany in his youth. It's always the same. We invent football and before you know it, off its gone to Brazil and Spain and North Korea and they finish up playing it better than we do. We bring up nice Lancashire lasses (perhaps a contradiction in terms there) and before you know it they have upped and gone to the other side of the world.

Ropi said...

Well, I had a bet with my friend, who is an expert of all sport and he reasoned his decision (he favoured Spain) with Paul's oracle. :P

Mim said...

I think that Octopus was on the take, or else he was a mafia boss man and whoever he didn't choose "had" to lose or take the consequences. Death by slimy octopus. ug.

Subby said...

Spain will continue to party 'til the next Cup. Hey! It's their 1st time winning...meh. I so abhor 3rd place :(

And if an octopus can predict...

One of our hospitals has a cat mascot that can predict a patient's death....spoooky!

Brian Miller said...

i am kinda liking the pic...ahem...anyway...quite the intriguing tale with the octopus and all...now if he woul just give me the lotto numbers...

tony said...

i Used To Think Octopussies were 'armless............

Roy said...

Poor Paul! How would you like to be paraded before the cameras like that, day after day? It's cephalopod abuse, so it is!

laughingwolf said...

octopi have NO sexual interest in female bipeds, only in warped imaginations of 'artists'...

calamari recipe of old paul will do no good, he's too old and tough!

but leave it to the gaelic contingent to have a million recipes ;) lol

Don't Bug Me! said...

I thought exactly the same. I mean, really, Paul!?! I do love octopus though, and I don't mean to eat. When I used to volunteer at the vancouver Aquarium, they were having problems with various crabs "disappearing" from several different tanks. It was quite the mystery, until someone stayed up one night and watched - turns out that their ocotpus was squeezing out over the top of his tank, legging ("arming"?) it over the tops and into other tanks, having a quick snack or two, and making sure he was back in his own tank by morning. Very smart. I have encountered quite a few giant octopuses while diving around here and I have obtained a few octopus hickies from their suckers and even played tug of war with one. Actually, it was the octopus and Mr. DBM playing tug of war, since I was the rope!

hokgardner said...

Oh how I love octopi. They are such cool creatures.

steph said...

Love the video!

Serves those fellas right for not wearing buoyancy aides!

I'm still celebrating your new job for you, Baino

CatLadyLarew said...

Awesome video! Perhaps I should have Paul pick lottery numbers for me....

Miles McClagan said...

I heard with most of his predictions he would go to one he didn't want to pick first as a sort of gag...but it soon emerged he was only squidding...

(c - my Dad)

Jill said...

QUITE impressed with this Paul! Hmmmm, but not happy with the outcome of the World Cup.

My kids would LOVE one of those Vuvuzelas!! I am glad they are NOT readily available in The State! WHEW!

River said...

When the last match was showing on the TV in our work lunchroom, I jokingly said "go Spain". I got a few black looks later when they won. Ha Ha.
I like octopus when they're swimming in the ocean, they look quite pretty, just don't put them on my dinner plate.

Carolina said...

I'm so glad the stupid World Cup football is over.
Now the Tour de France is the main topic over here. At least in our house. Has Paul predicted who'll win that?

Carolina said...

I'm so glad the stupid World Cup football is over.
Now the Tour de France is the main topic over here. At least in our house. Has Paul predicted who'll win that?

Gledwood said...

Is it necessary to see in colour to recognize flags? I think not.
The octopus is psychic, admit it!
BTW I heard in the paper that this one octopus is somehow supposed to be two, the first one of which was served up to perverted octopus-guzzling tourists in Sardinia, the second... actually I might be mixing this up with Michael Jackson's alleged love children.
Well whatever. The paper said there was 2

Darlene said...

I think someone put a tempting odor in one of Paul's food dishes and that's how he picked the same one each time. In other words, the test was rigged. Psychic Octopi? Give me a break.

That video is disturbing. I know, I just don't appreciate art.

Kath Lockett said...

I think Paul was the best thing about the entire World Cup experience:
` he's got a 'normal' name (no Fifibelle, Apple, Pilot Inspektor or Peaches for him)
` he did a better job than all the betting agencies combined; and
` he can't play the vuvuzela!

I'm tempted to design a t-shirt that asks: What would PAUL do?

K8 the Gr8 said...

Rumour has it that Paul met his demise to a blender on live Spanish TV. Pity, he would've been lovely in a Thai green curry.

Vagabonde said...

I am not a football fan so I did not watch it much – just the last part of the last game. I am following the Tour de France now. I watch it every morning live. Tomorrow it starts at 7:30 am. I love to see the little villages the helicopter shows us. There are quite a few Australians in the Tour this year. If you get a chance, look at it, even if you turn the sound off, but so you can see the landscape.

AngelMay said...

Way interesting info on octopussies, Baino. But "Paul" does seem an odd name. But hey! He probably thinks my name is pretty dumb, too.

Ahem! Note to Alan: AMERICANS invented football. Now let that be a lesson to you. ;o)

Eternally Distracted said...

I had absolutely no idea that octopuses were so smart... I don't like Paul though for not choosing England!!

The Man at the Pub said...

I love the psychic octopus story, especially that his name is 'Paul'. More of that sort of creativity and I might actually start liking sport.

I've heard octopi are so smart that a few in captivity have been known to leave their tanks, and jump in the neighbouring tank to eat the fish in there, then go back to their own tank before they are discovered.

blackwatertown said...

You had me worried there for a moment. I thought you meant me. But I was "Paul", I'd be wary about visiting that Galician octopus festival.

i beati said...

erotic I guess counting the days for you Aug 9 yahoo!! I start the 2nd and am worried..sl

Pam said...

Like a calculating octopus, my first husband was excellent at wrangling himself out of situations too, his name was Paul, but prediction-wise, he certainly couldn't foresee the end of the marriage! I like the name Paul for the octopus, but then my fish is called Ross, so hardly feel qualified to have an unbiased opinion. We now have our two Adelaide zoo pandas given choices between photos of Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott to predict who will win the next Federal election. Not known for a brain capacity to match their size, they fumble around undecided, much like a lot of other constituents...and congratulations on giving your old job the flick! Such great news about the new one!

Bimbimbie said...

Tsup*!* I'm grinning at the first comment and now I've forgot what I was going to say*!*

Candie Bracci said...

Lol and yeah those creepy thing are really clever!

Have a nice week Baino

Megan said...

I wish Paul would give me the lottery numbers...

Jay said...

I didn't know about Octopus Paul, and I must say I think the whole thing is very silly. LOL!

But I did know that they are intelligent animals, capable of some very interesting things. Such a shame the way they callously nibble you to death piece by piece.

Or is that just squid?

otin said...

I need to get that octopus to chose some lottery numbers for me!