Monday, July 12, 2010

 Dear Current Workplace


Thank  you for providing me with one of the most miserable years of my working life with your silo'd structure and unfriendly staff.  As if being retrenched by your best friend's business wasn't bad enough, you've made my work life horrible. From working there for 10 weeks and being totally ignored by most, to being an EA to a total fruit loop, bi-polar nazi who you eventually fired and then demoted me because the 'new guy' doesn't need an assistant.

I have had 8 workstations in as many months, been shuffled onto projects, Exec Ass to the MD with a 'short man' attitude, ignored by the other EA's the minute I left Executive and now relegated to a life of administrative pariah processing water rates, changing photocopy paper and entering data. Apologies to my lovely builder boys who have been denied the support they need because the 'other projects' might get jealous. 

My colleague on the other side of my petition looks like she's been sucking lemons for a lifetime and I'm sick of running around like a blue arsed fly thanks to ridiculous demands such as "Can you print 5 x A3 x 250gsm documents and have them bound along the long edge in 10 seconds?" No I fuckin' can't, not without a magic wand! And the fact that we don't have chocolate biscuits in the board room won't stop the world turning you petty assholes . . . so . . . I'm leaving! You can take your droney work and shove it up your proverbial bottom.






Dear nice young Accounting firm


Thank you for your generous letter of offer for a Practice Manager/HR guru and for a decent salary to match.  Nice try making an offer below what I'm earning now but good on you for going the extra step and raising the bar.  Thank you also for being work/life balance centric and for asking me to join your happy team with FREE parking from 9th August  and for understanding that I'll be there for 3 weeks before traipsing off to France for a month. I love you.  I will hit the ground running! I promise!


Yours truly


Me!


42 comments:

Sarah Lulu said...

Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.
*wild applause*

I love a good serve and a happy ending. Yes I do.

JUST exactly what I needed to hear!

Tom said...

nice going, tinkerbell! it's miller time

Kath Lockett said...

Woooo Hooo! Congratulations Baino! You sooooo deserve it!!!!

...dare you to send the first segment of this blog to your current HR department!

Grannymar said...

Brilliant news. I am dancing about the place in excitement for you!

Lorna Lilo said...

Success is the greatest form of revenge (without weapons which are my preferred option however they don't let me bring them to work anymore). And France, what can I say - there is no turning back after that.

California Girl said...

Don't you wish you'd given them this letter? Me too. I have a few like it in my Word doc files. I keep them to remind me how happy I am now.

Funny stuff, Helen and so true...so true.

Congratulations on the new gig. I can't wait to see photos and hear stories about Paris.

laughingwolf said...

too bad the assholes won;'t see this, it MIGHT wise one or two up... but not likely!

grats on the new job...

Roy said...

WOOT! Congratulations!

Robyn said...

Yahooooo!!!! :) happy dancing for you x

Janice said...

Fabulous! Break out the chardy!

Brian Miller said...

yay! excited for you! so when is the party! smiles.

RA said...

This calls for an ice cold beer, eh? Fly high! :)

nick said...

Congratulations! You certainly deserve the break after the job-hunting marathon and having put up with your current arsehole workmates for quite long enough. And excellent that your new bosses are happy for you to whizz off to France for a month. I hope the new job is all that it promises.

Colette Amelia said...

good on you mate!(hopefully I got it right?)

I am ever so happy for you because a job is more than just a pay cheque it is a place you spend most of your life and so being in an atmosphere where you are used to your full potential and appreciated for it is so important for peace of mind, health and happiness.

break out the bubbly!

kj said...

YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I AM ESTASTIC!

MY DAY IS NOW PERFECT.

i could not be happier for my dearly beloved passionate wonderful intelligent feisty fabulous friend.

Just you wait, honey hells. just you wait to see what happens next.

JeffScape said...

Hellz yah!

Now give me my girlfriend back! There's Merlot and coffee to be had!

(Oh, the implications in that statement)

Subby said...

Oh well done luv!

And you simply must stop over in Toulon ;)

e said...

Doing a happy roll round the flat and singing most melodiously on your behalf. Now, you will enjoy Paris all the more!

steph said...

Yabba dabba do!

Well deserved! Baino

You did really well to survive that long with those lemon sucking assholes.

otin said...

Alright! Way to go! Sounded like a real shitty job that you had!

Vicky said...

Alright!! Life is to short to put up with shit.

kj said...

TRUMPETS PLEASE!!

PREPARE THE CELEBRATORY BALLROOM!

this girl is coasting to new ground.

i've been giddy all day. i love happy excited friends, who deserve happy exciting intersections.

Ocean Girl said...

I am excited for you. (Change is exciting to me).

River said...

Happy news Baino. So glad for you. Hope it works out really well for a long, long time.

blackwatertown said...

Exciting. Excellent. The fools.
All sorted in time for going to France too. Top planning and organising.
So - where in France?

blackwatertown said...

Exciting. Excellent. The fools.
All sorted in time for going to France too. Top planning and organising.
So - where in France?

Jay said...

WoooooHOOOOO! Yay for Baino!!! I'm so glad you have a new, more congenial job. Sounds as if your new place has the basics right; treat your workforce properly and they'll pull out all the stops for you, right?

I'm so happy for you! :D

blackwatertown said...

Apologies for the double comment above.
Meanwhile I'm at paulwaters99 at hotmail.com

conortje said...

good on ya :-)

Not looking forward to rejoining the workforce myself next year...

AngelMay said...

Woo Hoo! Applauding here for you, Baino!

Annie Ha said...

I'm sorry I haven't come by your blog in about a billion years. Good to see it's still around! ;) Yay for new job! I want one, are they hiring? Do you think I could convince the hubs to go to the other side of the world?

Megan said...

Well I was feeling bad for missing the last two or three posts but Annie is WAY worse. :)

Congratulations, Baino! You deserve this and much more.

Pariiiiiiiiis!

Candie Bracci said...

This is so great!Well deserved after all you've been through.You rock!

i beati said...

My bosses for 2 more days are ugh ..I now have something to aspire to - Got a work at home position starting Aug 2

unstranger said...

:-)

Kate said...

Oh BRILLIANT Lady!!!
Any room for me???????

I wish you happiness...
From a crazy hippy! x

Dot-Com said...

Congratulations! So happy to hear you're leaving misery behind. Maybe there should have been a link to your blog in your resignation letter :)

Eternally Distracted said...

Wooo Hooooo!!!

Bimbimbie said...

So good you are heading back to the real world Tsup*!*

Alan Burnett said...

Excellent news and well deserved. Let's hope the new firm appreciate what they are getting.

Gledwood said...

Free a last!?
;-)

Vagabonde said...

I am so happy for you Baino and hope that this new position will be just great for you. You must be so relieve to leave this horrible place where you were not appreciated. I worked many years in large corporations and know how some people can make your life miserable. The stress of being with that sort of people can envelop you. So, great news!