Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Bloggyphobia

I have created a monster. I started blogging about personal stuff. Something my kids could involve themselves in and find some level of engagement with me long after I'm gone. I wanted them to say "Oh that's so typical of mum . . " or "I didn't know that about her . ." but once you create a public blog and comments flow, the nature of the beast changes considerably. I can't write personal things which is what I want to do, so I've now established a private blog, just for those really close to me so they know how I tick. My Opus Dei however so pathetic.

Needless to say, I haven't actually written an entry on it yet but I will. The other conundrum is the balance between the trivial, the interesting, the politica, the social - humerous vs seriousl . . .I've actually really annoyed some people by stating my political leanings although I don't consider myself a political animal. The only post I ever removed was one about DrummerBoy to which he took offense and now I'm struggling to make things even mildly interesting.

This is not an unusual phenomenon. Gaye has gone AWOL although I know why, Vanilla is absorbed and quite rightly so in writing and focusing on being published. Daz has left the blogosphere for ever. Wordnerd rarely posts, Is that All There Is has lost the plot and Kahler is just plain lazy. Then Grandad manages to post every day. I am depressed but angsty about Steph's blog as she is a lone voice but so erudite and strong that I'm drawn to her analysis. Jefferson, I have the pleasure of talking to offline and adore his photography. Bird Anonymous has managed to escape the difficulty with an amazing photo blog. Red Mojo is just fascinating because I have never met anyone like her and ThriftCriminal is a delight. I love K8, no really, we're chalk and cheese, Laurel and Hardy but I will never visit Ireland without plonking on her mad family with armfuls of silly TShirts and stuffed koalas. Benchwarmer has other priorities these days but I see him occasionally. Moo Dog is a relative newbie, fresh and funny and Quickroute . . hey, he's my South American connection. Ryan is sweet but really not a man of the blogosphere. Ian is my total inspiration and just one of the many I would dearly like to meet - the athiest and the vicar . . .imagine that. Nonny is hilarious but rarely present and the others are polite readers and rare commenters. But to you all, you have brought a diversity into my life that has been really, seriously, interesting and wonderful. *has a little wipe with a tissue*. There are are many others but they either don't comment or have no idea of the impact their blogs make on me.

I'm at sixes and sevens tonight. I'm not sure what direction to take this in. I want a 'piece of me' to be extended to all of you which sounds completely hedonistic but it wasn't my intention to entertain a crowd although I love your comments and really enjoy the diversity and feel priviledged to have been in personal contact with most of you. Many of you I have come to know privately and I feel very blessed by that. But tonight as I struggle with blogophobia, TV looks more appealing . . that book that I've barely touched on my bedside table seems more attractive. Although I just can't draw myself away. Addiction . .almost but if I have nothing worthy to say . . what's the point?

I guess a blog by it's pure nature is short and sharp. I want a l-o-n-g dinner-time conversation about libertarianism in the wider context, religion life the universe and everything, life without partners, health problems, the trials of being published, dogs and grandchildren, memories of the past and your struggles, the difficulty of expressing love, life in your part of the world, Tibet and the Olympic games, Zimbabwe elections, wine and chocolate, why you're a vegetarian yet wear leather shoes, how you managed to capture that shot . . . blogging is great and it has filled a space in many a lonely night but . . . now I find I want to expand on my theories, argue my points but feel self censored. So what better place than my dinner table to fight it out, with a starter of GrannyMar's soup, an Absolute Vanilla chocolate dessert and . . . .well again, I have nothing yet feel compelled to write something. You're all welcome for dinner at chez Fairway any time! (But hurry . . this offer is limited! the bulldozers will be moving in next year)

No I'm not giving up, it's writer's block. I'll get over it. I actually rather like that I have this clandestine life that half my family and friends don't even know about. I am under no delusion that if I disappeared tomorrow life would go on without a problem but thank you my virtual friends . .whenever I'm down . . .


Now, I'm off to watch a documentary on Execution in the US . . .post forthcoming!

17 comments:

Nick said...

Goodness, Baino, I hope you don't give up, I enjoy your blog enormously, particularly for its insights into Oz life. So why do vegetarians wear leather shoes eh? Personally, I've tried wearing non-leather alternatives but they're no substitute - either they fall to bits or they're too hot and sweaty. But I've never had a leather sofa!

Thriftcriminal said...

Bit of a gumption trap eh? Something a bit mad required to jumpstart I'd guess, but possibly after all the impending upheaval? Glad to hear I am a delight, I have to say I do thoroughly enjoy your blog. I'll get back to you on the aspartame, I just thought you might have an opinion what with your interest in natural antiseptics etc.

gayé said...

Baino - I would love to meet you when I am back home. They say meeting face to face with blogmateys and virtual friends is a bit of a let down as it takes away all the mystery etc, and our perception of how the other person is. Like reading a book loving it and being disappointed at the cinema. It is opposite for me, it makes it all the more real and I have never ever been disappointed meeting a person I have befriended online face to face. Yet. hehe.
Hug
Gx

Grannymar said...

Take a rest if you need to, but No giving up! We need you, we love you and we want more Baino!

Now eat up your soup! ;)

Brian Damage said...

That Tibet thing is hilarious - first you see the Chinese cracking heads in Lhasa on the news, and then the next thing some Tibetan is smacking the guy with the Olympic torch while draped in a Tibet flag.

They're never going to get independence - refer to the anger in Serbia over Kosovo for why, along qith the fact that China have one of the world's largest standing armies - but still, great stuff to watch.

Emperor Ropi said...

I have less readers and they are far from me so I don't have that "mom, it is so typical" and on the other hand I would beat the person who calls me mom

ian said...

Baino,

I just find some chunk of a book I'm reading and post it for comment when I can think of nothing to say!

You think you're lost for inspiration? Yesterday, I was going to go to Angola in July, but having subjected it to analysis, today I contacted the agency and said I wasn't going. Too much grief!

K8 the Gr8 said...

Oh hey don't worry... I go through days when I can't even be in the same room as my computer. My blog makes me want to puke sometimes!

There's no pressure on you to blog religiously... I mean you're not a robot, and you don't want to regret churning out something just for the sake of it! For what it's worth, I'm in awe of your ability to think of new and interesting material so regularly. :)

Baino said...

Nick I won't give up. It fills in the quiet times it's just that there are things I need to spill that are not really for public consumption so I'll do that on the 'other'. As for vegies wearing leather . . . mmm. . .might cause a stir if I tackle that one! Leather sofas make farty noises and your legs sweat in the heat!

Thrifty . . .gumption trap absolutely, I might steal that one. I'm not a naturopathy type, just wondered how history would change if we had learned simple hygeine a little earlier than we did! Again, another blog topic. Thanks for the compliment.

Gaye: Whoa . .brought you out of hiding. Of course I want to meet my bloggers! I'm fat 50, funny and fabulous what can I say!

GrannyMar: You're half the reason I'm fat! Treacle Scones and one bowl chocolate cake indeed!

Brian: Haven't worked out yet whether your a funny bloke or a knob! Topical subject though. Again,possible blog fodder.

Ropi: You're a funny bloke! The other blog is mainly for my children. I found my mother's diary after she died and it was lovely to read.

Ian: I'm sorry, I didn't have time to comment on the Angola post. Your call I guess, a pastor can only do so much despite the huge expectations of those around you. For you, maybe charity begins at home.

K8: Thanks petal, I'm amazed you find time. There's no way I could have done this with small children and work.

Thanks everyone, I feel somewhat reinvigorated. I wasn't fishing for compliments, honestly!

Brian said...

Jeez! Don't you go quitting, Technogirly!

Brian Damage said...

Brian: Haven't worked out yet whether your a funny bloke or a knob! Topical subject though. Again,possible blog fodder.

I have a knob. I am not one.

Quickroute said...

Quite a coincidence - I've felt the same way recently but am trying to adapt the philosophy - Blog when you feel like it - don't when you don't! I started blogging just as a way to keep a journal of my adventures here in Argentina for me to read at a later date and maybe people back home to keep in touch originally and didn't encourage or respond to comments - I was surprised to see a few comments trickle in a few monhts ago and I agree it becomes addictive and possibly intimidating that you have to write something humorous or of substance but just stick with it and go with the flow - you Aussies are good at that!.

Baino said...

Brianf: I'm not about to give up, just find it a bit intimidating sometimes and can't always say what I'd like to say, that's what the private blog is for but thanks . .technogirly . .hardly!

BD: You're the new boy on the block, sometimes it takes time but I'm glad that you're an intact male as they say in the doggy world.

Quicky: Exactly. I do really like it and my beginnings were driven much by the same motives. Love the Argentinian perspective that you bring. I work with a Polish Argentinian, he's a delightful colleague but doesn't have many nice things to say about home. (mind you he left 15 years ago) It's great to hear your perspective which is so much more positive and I have to say, ClareBear has nothing disparaging to say about any of the South Americans she's met other than perhaps being plonked in places that might be considered dodgy at night!

steph said...

Baino

I'm Fifty, Fat, and Fixed in my ways so the best thing I ever did was to Find your blog :D

Your Fun-seeking Friend,
Staph

Anonymous said...

OOOPS I'm late ...

VERY pleased you are still in virtual land!!!

PS: Regarding your 'Bachelor of Horticulture', I knew a fellow qualified with the same who worked in a local nursery and started designing buyers gardens on the side. He was very good at gift wrapping back then and built a client list whilst wrapping! He now works as a designer for Backyard Blitz or Burke's Backyard. You get the drift ...

JackMcMad said...

Hey there!! Lost the plot? You're probably right. Don't be gettin' all disillusioned though. I had to reply to this one as I'm still lurking about in the blogosphere, although it is very infrequent now. Been very busy at work but I have a few minutes on a slow Friday now to back read, so to speak. Hence the late comment on this post.

I had actually forgotten how honest and heartfelt your blog is. They're qualities that are rare in most of the blogs that I read. Most seem to be caught up in some psuedo political nonsense with overuse of the 'c' work (me included). Yours is very refreshing and very real. Please keep it up!!!

And if you are ever knocking around the Emerald Isle don't hesitate to give me a shout, I'd be honoured to hook up for a few beers.

Now, I'd love to say that I'll be posting soon on 'Is this it?' but I can't make that promise as my current work schedule is hectic and will continue to be so until after the summer. The company are trying to consolidate 4 data centers into 1 and move about 1000 users to a fresh greenfield site and we only have a 5 man IT team. I can't even take a holiday until after it's all done and the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit at a PC but, I will say that's it not the end. Talk soon.

Baino said...

Hey Jack! What a deep psychic connection. I was almost about to remove you from the blogroll as I thought you long gone! Glad to see you're keeping busy and well. Of course I'll drop by should I venture north . . same to you if you visit Emptyhead down under! Drop me an email now and then just to stay in touch! Thanks for the kind words. I have my soap box moments but it's a personal blog by and large . . . still here after 18 months so I'll plug on . . it's cathartic and I can't stand THAT word . . .Take care
Hells