Friday, November 28, 2008

Friday Fuckwit (s)

That time again folks and my, doesn't the week roll by. This one's been a doozy. Fast paced, very busy and me realising that as an administrator, I make a fabulous blogger! Filling in forms is NOT my forte. Even a friend of mine said this morning, "I don't know what you're doing in administration, I can't imagine you doing that kind of work!" He was right. I'm not designed for filling in forms and playing stamps.

Friday Fuckwit Extraordinaire

Me - again! . . .for transferring $36,000 out of the wrong account for one of our most valued (and I must admit rather sweet) clients. Fortunately, due to bribes, threats and 3kgs of Fererro Rocher chocolate, I was able to persuade an international fund manager Colonial First State to allow someone to 'buy in' to one of their now 'closed' funds and Mr Client is a happy man. Well he's an Engineer so he's a 'contented' man. I don't think they have a 'happy' scale.

Friday Fuckwit 2
Mr Client who still wants to buy into this dog despite losing $15,000 since his initial investment, getting one distribution and dollar cost averaging (depositing $100 month for the past decade) into the fund. Give it to me you bastard or shred it or wipe your bum with it . . .throw it in the air and see what sticks - far more useful than sinking more into this embarrassment of a fund. Now I'm far from advocating people cut and run in this current economic climate but this is a 10 year wake up call! Bail, bail, bail . . .

Friday Fuckwit 3
Me AGAIN! Yep, last night, popped into the local supermarket, picked up two bottles of Eaglehawk Chardy and a packet of nurrells and then promptly backed into the car attempting to park next to me. Seriously, I didn't see him. Fortunately I drive like a Nana so the bump was more of a 'tip' and left little more than some bumper rubber on corresponding corner. He was very sweet and we swapped cards and phone numbers. "It'll probably polish off!" he declared and thank goodness I haven't heard from him since. Stupid idiot woman that I am - I put it down to Clare distraction - it's all her fault for occupying 99% of my brain capacity at the moment.

Friday Fuckiwt 4
I don't know if you're aware but the "safest airline on the planet" has had a few niggles lately. Gas cylinders blowing up, bits of wings falling off, plummeting to earth before righting among a litany of potentially dangerous incidents. It's CEO, who has presided over the company for the past 8 years retired today in this dire economic climate when consumer confidence is at a low ebb on . . oooh . . $12.2 million. That should keep his fluffy pussy in Dine for a lifetime don't you think? He's now handing the reins over to former Jet Star (sister budget carrier) Irishman and to my mind wannabe Richard Branson, Alan Joyce.

Qantas defended its executive salaries as a means to retain the best managers. Qantas staff on the other hand have received little more than CPI rises over those 8 years and maintenance has been sent offshore (possible reason for the bits falling off?) and definitely to blame for the surly nature of cabin crew. Apparently, from this day hence, the practice of giving excessive amounts to executives willy nilly will cease. Oooh . .look up, what's that? Damn piggy poo!

Part of his settlement however included shares calculated at about $5 each that are now worth about $2.30. Never mind mate, hang tight, they'll rise again.

So there you have it folks. Wet and warm, nice if you're with a woman but not so nice if you're being dripped on by the condensation on your Chardy glass every time you take a sip. Why do girls always get the wet spot!

I just hope the sun pokes it's face out on Tuesday morning when my girly swat wakes up, at home, in her own little bed and glances outside her window. She's flying in at 8pm on Monday night! Wahay! Erm Clare, if you're out there . . would you like to give your mother, I mean taxi, your flight number? Oh God, she's flying Qantas!


nick said...

$12.2 million for the retiring CEO? Blimey, how's he going to survive on that? Have you seen the cost of butlers and golf caddies these days? And as you say, the wages of ordinary airline staff get squeezed down even further to keep the fat cats nice and plump.

English Mum said...

Jeebus, 12.2 mill?

We have a similar (if a little more low key) situation here, where the Chief Exec of Ireland's national training and employment authority, FÁS has had to retire due to a scandal about inappropriate expenses claims (80 grand jolly to Florida in the Government's Gulfsteam jet, anyone?). All this while the minions struggle to earn a crust. Friday fuckwit is spot on.

Jay said...

Oh, I'm so glad that you managed to get your Mr Client's shares back in the right fund! Whether he should have bought them or not, you've saved yourself! Well worth a 3kg donation of Ferrero Rocher, I'd say! ;)

Grannymar said...

Come huggy time at the Ayrport on Monday, all the woes of this week will be forgotten.

Quickroute said...

$12.2MM - and this keeps happening over and over - GEE whiz - Could there be a connection between the current global recession and the non accountability of fuckwits like this?

Miladysa said...

$12.2? - The world is Fridayed!

Your girl will be home safe and sound soon Baino :D

I'm waiting for my son to come home from German where he's been watching football!

laughingwolf said...

y've exceeded yerself, baino... so many fuckwits, so little time :O lol

Bear Naked said...

This has to be the Friday Fuckwit Extraordinaire of the decade.
You should get it bronzed.


kj said...

i wish you so so so so so so so much joy on monday night.

so so so so so much. :)

Jefferson Davis said...

2.2 million, aye? Jaysus that's a lot of money! Of course, over here they give bloated retiring CEO's 30 million of tax payers dollars.

Bullocks, I say!

Kath Lockett said...

You are many, many things Baino, but a Friday F**kwit you are NOT. :)

Baino said...

It's not so much the Salary Nick. Directors who work for companies who have names on their buildings earn more. It's that he's taking it in these hard times and leaving Qantas in quite a mess frankly.

Pathetic isn't it EM yet these people rarely get caught thanks to nice little tax havens.

So am I Jay. Not a done deal yet, he has to sign the forms so unless something goes pear shaped I've saved my skin . .again!

Ooooh Grannymar, I know. I can't wait. I've been cleaning all day today to keep my mind off it.

Not sure he's the fuckwit for earning that much I guess it's par for the course for top jobs but to leave now is just selfish.

Yep it'll be wonderful. I've been waiting 11 months, it's a long time! Hope your footy boy arrives safe and sound!

Iknow Wuffa . .and they're the mildly amusing ones. I daren't touch the real morons for fear of bringing everyone down!

Ah Bear there's plenty more where these came from.

Thanks kj that means a lot. We're kindred spirits when it comes to our daughters I think. Joy is probably the right word!

Funny isn't it JD, they pay them a fortune and still get monkeys! I think it's bollocks . . .

I dunno Plugger, I can right royally stuff things up when I'm on a roll but nice of you to say so!

nick said...

Oh, absolutely, I didn't make myself clear. Even as everyone else is tightening their belts, the fat cats are still getting fatter.

i beati said...

good stuff sandy

Ropi said...

Well I am planning to work with money too so this post made me a bit scared.

TCL said...

Glad your investor friend's biz got sorted.

Talk about a mess how about the Wal-Mart worker who got trampled to death by mad Christmas shoppers? Some holiday eh? There's got to be a limit to this madness.

Albert Pike said...

Gosh! I didn't think Qantas was so awful.

Thanks for enlightening me ... :)

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

I put down all the Baino fuckwittishness entirely to Clare's impending arrival. No worries, Bains, you'll be fine in a week's time, until then, (once you've got over the initial excitement), maybe just stay off the roads and out of the office! ;-)
Hope you have a fantabulous reunion!

Baino said...

Haha . . well Sandy I'm not sure dobbing myself in as the ff is 'good stuff' but all's well that ends well!

Ropi . . it's a big responsibility. The client should have checked the form but he trusted me which is why I felt so bad. All fixed now though. You perhaps have a better eye for detail than I.

Ted I heard that poor man, crushed in the frey. We have sales here after Christmas that can be a bit manic but nothing like your Black Friday biz, outrageous.

Hello Albert . .I don't think it's quite reached the level of 'awful' but there have been too many dangerous 'incidents' to ignore. Ground crew put it down to contracted ground crews in other countries. Qantas once had their own staff on the ground all over the world. They can't afford to rest on their safety laurels any longer. If I had to fly today, I'd choose Emirates frankly.

AV I think you could be right. It's been a very long week and I have been a little discombobulated. Can't wait for Monday night!

Megan said...

It's Saturday here which means it's Sunday there which means -- One more day! One day more!

I could do so much good with 12.2 million.

Ces said...

I can't keep up with all the excitement!

ashleigh said...

Re FF#1: Careful about your comments about engineers. I are one, I even know how to spell it. And I have both a contented scale AND a happy scale. You have to work hard to see the happy scale though :)

And as for the Qantas CEO. Don't get me started. numerous investment people, mags, etc, say "never buy an airline". In the whole history of aviation the total amount of money actually made by airlines amounts to roughly zip. They are bad investments. So Mr former CEO will be pushing to break even on his $5 shares for a long time yet. But executive salaries in general in this country and crazy and need to come down to earth.

Shareholders of Australia unite: vote down the remuneration reports, and vote against any and every AGM resolution which involves awarding options or shares to executives. If they want shares, let them go buy on the market like everybody else. "Align executives interest with shareholders". What piffle. They should be aligned because THAT IS THE EXECUTIVES BL#$%Y JOB. They work for the shareholders who are the owners. GRRR!!!!

Baino said...

Megan, me too! I'll split it with you. Yep, Monday morning here now so I will busy myself about the house. No point going to work I'd be useless.

Pretty intense eh Ces!

Hi Ash. Yep quite right, it's just the luck of the draw or lack of it that his shareholding isn't worth as much as it might have been. I guess they figure by giving shares to execs they will be more motivated to provide a return to the shareholders. I don't begrudge good salaries for high rankers but they're like the amounts we play tennis players and far too high. The prime minister won't retire with that much and he has a country to run.

Nah, I'm not down on Engineers, we have many as clients and for the record some of my best friends are Engineers. They're OK when they get a bevvy or two inside 'em!

Kris said...

I work with a Friday Fuckwit who is also a Monday Fuckwit, Tuesday Fuckwit, Wednesday Fuckwit, and Thursday Fuckwit as well.

The scientist in me believes that the extreme likelihood is that she is also a Saturday Fuckwit and Sunday Fuckwit too.