Friday, April 03, 2009

Friday Fuckwit

Recognise this man? I'd be interested if any of you Americans know who he is! He's been chatting with your President and assorted Secretaries of important things causing a ruckus over his love of China and applauding the rather sexy Obama's economic policy. (Sorry Ces but he is a bit Denzel Washington) They look happy don't they?

Did you Brits see him with Gordon Brown at Number 10? Surely you must have . . he was splashed on the front page and headlined the BBC News? What? He wasn't? He didn't? And we are still part of the Commonwealth you know? See, they're happy too, must have been the one about the Irishman, the Scotsman and the Australian . . .

Gordon: Oh mine's pointy like this

Kev: Now now settle Gordy . . what goes on tour, stays on tour!

This is Prime Minister Kevin Rudd . . king of the Antipodes who is currently pootling around the G20 heavyweights trying to put Australia on the map and to sell his 'package'.

Now I'm sure (being the forgiving and gullible person that I am) that all Politicians start with good intentions. They begin as bright students with the gift of the gab, then swagger from the school debating team to members of Young Labour or Young Liberals then on to local Council representation before hitting the relatively prestigious State Government and then off to the Federal Parliament. Unless of course they're Peter Garrett in which case they just have to be the lead singer of a Rock Band . .suddenly a widget in their brain turns them into dickheads . . nay . . .fuckwits . .

So . . this Friday Fuckwit (God I love that word) is our own, pussy-arse lipped, stupid hairdo, budget blowout, try-hard temporary vegetarian Kev 0 Sev! (You'd never think I voted for him would you? Then you should see the other side!)

PRIME Minister Kevin Rudd has downplayed reports that he reduced a young female RAAF cabin attendant to tears with a tirade of abuse because he did not get a meal he wanted during a VIP flight. Remember, girls and boys . .this woman is a soldier stuck on Airforce 'not quite 1' so he must have said something particularly nasty. Or maybe it was 'that certain time of the month' and she was a little fractious.

An official report was filed by the flight crew about the behaviour of VIP No. 1 - Mr Rudd - after the flight from Port Moresby to Canberra in late January.

Mr Rudd, who had attended the Pacific Islands Forum, probably in a suitably silly Hawaiian shirt was told by the 23-year-old flight attendant that his request for a "special" meal - he is on a meat-free diet - could not be met.

Sources said the PM reacted "strongly" and a heated exchange followed. The attendant burst into tears and reported the matter to the senior cabin attendant.

She later composed herself and continued with the in-flight service.

"The crew were distressed but later in-flight apologies were made by all," the report says.

But when he was asked about the incident at the conclusion of the G20 summit in the British capital today, Mr Rudd said he did not "observe" any tears over the matter.

"As I recall it, there was a flight, I think from Port Moresby, and I had a discussion with, I think, one of the attendants on the provision of food. It didn't last very long and if anyone was offended by that, including the attendant concerned, of course, I apologise," Mr Rudd said.

Mr Rudd said that as he recalled, he told a member of the crew not to worry about the language he had used

"As I said, if anyone took offence, of course, I apologise for it. Prime Ministers make mistakes, I'm sure I've made mistakes, (OMG a confession) that'd be one of them. If people have been offended, I apologise for it."

Suck it in Kev, suck it in . .you've become one of these rude patriarchal, patronising bastards that are usually reserved for the owners of small business and the captains of industry. (Does anyone know the male equivalent of 'mysogenist' I think I'm becoming one.)

Apparently, this is not the first unsavoury incident involving Mr Rudd and RAAF cabin crew. He's not a vegetarian, just trying to lose a few pounds by cutting out fat and red meat. Couldn't he just have eaten the veggies. It's a five hour flight with no baggage wait or customs search, I'm sure he isn't going to starve!

During a flight between Sydney and Canberra last June he became "extremely irritated" when the only food on offer was gourmet sandwiches, rather than a hot meal. Under normal circumstances the Boeing 737 VIP jet costs more than $28,000 an hour to run and the first-class service includes the best available food, wine, spirits and beer. The Port Moresby-Canberra flight would have cost taxpayers about $150,000. At that price he can take his own vegemite sandwiches!

The Defence Department said it was not appropriate to comment on the service provided by No. 34 Squadron on its aircraft.

Oh next time just spit in his chips or send him on Virgin Blue like the rest of us cheapskates! Jesus, even the Queen travelled Qantas during her last trip!


Anonymous said...

Anyone else would have been arrested for air rage. Although, I'm sick of gettinf flights where by the time the attendant gets to me, all teh veggie maeals are gone! And it's meat eaters that take them!

BTW, a male hater is a misandrist.

Anonymous said...

Oh no, pls excuse the typos, I'm a little ropey this morning!

ian said...

Sorry, Baino, you got it wrong about the coverage. Mr Rudd was the picture on the BBC homepage on Tuesday or Wednesday, I was even going to email you to say so!

How many other of the twenty premiers would anyone recognize?

River said...

I've never seen the need to serve food on flights that only last a few hours, like you said people aren't going to starve in a 5 hour flight. I remember in 1973, I flew from Adelaide to Sydney and was offered a meal, changed planes and continued to Brisbane with another meal offer on the second flight. both meals I refused, as I'd had breakfast before leaving Adelaide and we were in Brisbane settling into a hotel before dark. Just think of the taxpayer funds that could be saved if only beverages and a light snack (biscuits or crackers and cheese) were served. Keep the meal service for those really long overseas flights. As for our PM, you're right, he could have just eaten the veggies and pushed the meat aside. Despite his fancy title, he's no better than the rest of us and he should remember that.

steph said...


While Obama is the highest paid (and rightly so) of the G20 heavyweights, who do you think comes in 2nd?


Is it any wonder our country is going down the plughole!

jay said...

What a self-important fellow he must be ... my, my, quite unlike most politicians, oh dear me yes. Insisting on luxury meals on flights now, is he? Demanding to be allowed to be a special case? Sounds pretty normal for a politician to me.

Now when I fly, I have to take my own meals, despite advance notification, because no airline that I've yet flown with can get their heads around my allergy problems. I can't risk anaphylaxis mid-Atlantic you know, and one airline got the dinner right, but offered me salmon sandwiches in my tea. Oh, just eat the others, they said .. ha! I should coco. They were all wrapped up tightly together in cling wrap and fish leaks.

I have occasionally accepted the vegetarian option instead, despite not being a vegetarian, but I think I have good reason, huh? And actually, vegetarian options are usually not suitable for me either.

I was gonna say 'misandrist' but Jackmcmad got there first.

Grannymar said...

I'm wondering when the meaning of the word 'travel' was changed to mean eating? Anywhere you go nowadays people are stuffing their faces with food.

tut-tut said...

WHAT!?! I thought everyone was jumping for joy and canceling their move to New Zealand when he was elected.

Baino said...

Jack thank you - I've been trying to find that word for a long time. Hey, meatysauruses do not steal veggie meals trust me!
On my 40th birthday, I was flying back from LA to Sydney after a wonderful round the world thingy and wanted a BOTTLE of champagne. You know, stick short of a bundle mile high stuff (no Ralph Feinnes being present) . .she brought me one of those mini things that you can swallow in a heartbeat! I was 32,000 feet and wanted to get PISSED. "Sorry madam, beverages will be served with lunch". Could have bitch slapped her to Tuesday!

Really Ian? These sorts of things are all over the news here and I think who in the world knows who Kev is? There was even a vox pop in Washington and only one guy knew he had 'something to do with Australia' (frankly I'd prefer the world didn't know about us) Well I like the Brazillian dude who arrived by train and the French chick who said that we can do more than bail out failing companies. Gawd, I'm so aware! Like really!

River I don't do much domestic flying but say Syd-Melb - one hour and they give you a meal at dinner time! Long hauls just ply you with plastic food when I'd rather have a good sandwich. Perhaps Mrs Rudd is a totally shit cook . .

Steph are you serious? Our PM earns less than the CEO of a bank. So I guess perks are important. He is paid around $300,000 plus super plus freebies but hey, he's the ruler of the country! The CEO of Bonds (Pacific Brands who make T shirts, knickers and bras) after laying off 1500 people and going offshore for cheaper manufacturing just got a pay rise to $1,680,000 . .

Dear Jay . .I hope I never have to sit next to you and your leaky fish on a plane. I did sit next to the Christian Bikie from Hell once who stole my dessert and poked his fork at my tray saying "do you want to eat that!" GAH . .I'll take me own sarnies next time. Vegimite and cheese! (Jack's a bit grumfy todayz - never cross a grumpfyz vegesaurus)

GM true. I mean in 24 hours - the length of a Sydney to London flight, you have about 8 meals. I think its all about distraction. In 28 hours I'd normally have 2 breakfasts, 2 sandwiches and a dinner! Oh and a bucket full of Chardy . .afraid of flying? Get pissed!

Baino said...

Like I said Toots, you should see the opposition!

Anonymous said...

They do too steal veggie dinners. On a recent flight to Austria, the meal choices were pasta(veggie) or chicken worst(meat). Of course the Irish being Irish and not knowing what a worst was (a German sausage), plumped for the pasta, instead of askibng the bloody question.

'Chicken Worst?, Oh God no, that doesn't sound nice, I'll have the pasta.' Gobshites.

Speaking of airline food, there's this, it's absolutely hilarious.

Ces said...

"I know a lot of ex-vegetarians but they are so much happier now."

Yeah, your Denzel-look-alike made a bozo of himself with his gifts to the queen, very "elegant", giving the queen who already has an iPod another iPod loaded with his speech, oh so full of himself. I suppose Messiah trumps Queen. Har har! Even Gordon has more class he gave something of historical value while Obamammie gave him a set of DVDs that are not compatible with British DVD players. Hrmph!

Ropi said...

Haha, I knew who he is. He is not as cool as you think because I have been there as well and I am not the Prime Minister of Anything. On the other hand he may just photoshopped himself there!! HEHE Why do they keep their legs like girls? In Hungary men don't really keep their legs like that. Our new Prime Minister may be a Gordon too moreover his family name starts with B as well.

nick said...

Another spoilt-brat, power-crazy politician making life miserable for other people. If he was dieting, why bother with food at all? And why the need for offensive language? And why does he need a fancy VIP jet at fabulous expense anyway? Just a selfish oaf.

Actually he doesn't earn much more than one of our combined MP/MLAs who get paid a handsome salary for each job! I suppose that's why he wants all the perks.

Candie Bracci said...

A real fuckwit! LOL

Don't Bug Me! said...

Well, at least your PM got into a photo. Canada's illustious leader, Mr. Harper, missed the big photo shoot. He claims he was in a "meeting", when really he was in the loo!
And all you veggies out there - quit complaining. If you want a veggie meal, order one or suck it up. Just because people eat meat doesn't mean they have to eat meat!

Renee said...

Great post.

Renee xoxo

Megan said...

With great power comes great opportunities for fuckwittery.

Baino said...

Awww . . well frankly all aeroplane food tastes like plakstic anyway. At least Austria isn't too far away. Worst is the worst - lips and arseholes! Yeh I saw the clip but seriously, what is that? Not food! You can bring your own food on Virgin Blue domestic flights here.

Haha . .steady on the vegisauruses now Ces . . I know a lot of them! At lest the iPod had video of the Queen's visit to the US. All she gave him was a photo of her and Phil! Yeh the DVD thing was a bit of a shame, I wonder if he remembered to take his power adaptors too!

Ropi, I've been there too! Really, Hungarian men don't cross their legs? Generally neither do Aussies. Maybe it's a 'protocol' thing. Maybe they both had a hole in their trousers! Ah Gordon Bajnai - "Gordon?" that's not very Hungarian!

Nick it's true. We expect much of our politicians but don't pay them well compared to business. They get great super and perks tho and free accommodation in many cases but hey, you pay peanuts, you get monkeys! In less than a year he's put our budget into deficit and been granted a 200 billion spending spree should he need it!

Oh they're everywhere Candie. Kudos to your PM by the way for suggesting that there are alternatives to economic recovery beyond throwing money at banks!

DBM tell the truth, I had to Google the Canadian PM so . . ignorant as bliss I am. Aww, be nice to vegies . . they're lovely people! Well the ones who visit here are anyway. Qantas lets you pre-order your vegetarian or vegan meals prior to the flight.

Thanks Renee.

Haha! You are so wise Meg. I also heard that many republicans are whining because Barack took an entourage of 500 with him. Which for the most powerful man in the world doesn't seem too excessive to me. When Georgy porgy visited Australia for the G20 he brought over 700 people and his dog who managed to dodge quarantine!

Ropi said...

Have you heard of him? Or did I mention?

Ribbon said...

Are you ready for another 15minutes of fame.... Okay now sit down because it's interview time!

1. If you were a colour what colour would that be?

2. Why do you blog?

3. Why do live where you live?

4. What would be your dream holiday?

5. What is your cultural backgroud?

Have fun with these.

Best wishes Ribbon :-)

laughingwolf said...

lol... perfect baino :)

seems one must be an asshole, or fuckwit, to be a pm... all of ours have been, bar none grrrrrrrrr

what about your sydney broad who knifed her neighbor cuz she took exception to his telling her the dog barked too loud?

Baino said...

Nah Ropi, I cheated and Googled!

Ooh thanks Ribbon . .

Wuffa there are so many, I'll never be short of material!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

And there I thought maybe he was a fellow from Iceland or the Outer Wotsits.

And why does anyone need food on short flights - surely a bag of crisps and a coke would do... ;-)

Mrsupole said...

I would like lesser government controls and lower taxes. And to be honest I think almost all politicans are the same here, there and everywhere. They want to control everything they can and the more they control the more power they have. The more power they have the bigger their buttholes get. It is not about money it is about power and control. If they wanted money they would work in the private sector.

I wish they would stop taking our money and doing whatever they want with it. They take our money and use it for the stupidest things. I will not list them because I would be writing this list for years. The more money they take from us the more they want. Almost all taxes start out as temporary, then they get a taste of the power this money brings and they make them permanent taxes. All politicans should only be allowed to be one for 6 to 8 years in their lifetime. I cannot stand the ones who make a career of it.

The reason they treat people like crap is because in their little pee brains they think they are special and better than those who elect them. And then we are surrounded by those who hero worship these politicans, which empowers them to treat people like the flight attendant in that way. Such a sad thing that this happens.

Power to the veggie and meat eaters, to each their own. And the only good thing to eat on a airplane is the nuts.

God bless.

Auntie, aka cagny said...

i need to fly here more often. i love this friday fuckwit thingy.
oooooooh, the ansgt.
btw, airplane meals are generally bad. that idiot showed the world how stupid he is by expecting a good meal.

Baino said...

AV I'd rather pack my sarnies anyway! Apparently he's been advised to take a diversionary hobby because he works 24/7 and is getting a little 'stressed'.

Sadly Mrs I think that's true to some extent, Governments forget that they are 'representatives' of the people. I don't mind paying tax if it benefits us all . .universal health and education etc. but I don't see why private (Air Force) planes are necessary for politicians. It would cost less to stick 'em on a commercial flight.

Auntie . .perhaps just a bit naive, he's a new boy on the block!

Anonymous said...

The Queen flew Quantas? G'wan! And looks like he's giving the "salute" in that last pic! And I don't mean "V" for victory, wot?

Baino said...

Subby, she did indeed although it was paid for by the tax payer and she did charter the whole flight!

Anonymous said...

Hi Baino
I've been back in Australia for a couple of years now having flitted back and forth from the UK a couple of times, and carelessly losing my youngest son (actually he's a medical student and we've left him behind) who I miss so much.I stumbled across your blog and so I thought I'd say hi.

I don't know what it is about Kevin, but I find it difficult to dislike him. He seems so affable and preternaturally calm.
It's difficult to imagine him getting so worked up over an in-flight meal. Still, I bet he wishes now that he'd kept his cool.
Best wishes

Baino said...

Hi Mary . .welcome along. Feel free to join in the mayhem any time. Well I voted for him so shouldn't complain. This Friday post is generally taking the mickey anyway. And let's face it he's the ONLY world leader ouside of China that can speak Mandarin!

Ronda Laveen said...

What goes on, on tour, stays on tour...or does it? By the rest of your post I would say NOT! Pussy- arse lipped? Oh YEAH! Can't eat to tell my sister that one. She loved "Fukwit."

The man just needs to brown bag it.

laughingwolf said...

i hear ye...

i beati said...

oh Rudd, I thought surely you mean Obama