Jealousy

My apologies for the rather rushed effort. I've been mad at work and hit my download quota at home so it's not been easy getting to post. . . so for your Wednesday foray into the Madhouse . . .

The most common cause of jealousy, is Romantic Jealousy common of course when our boyfriends spend too much time scoping the blonde in the LBD or our girlfs flirt outrageously with our best mate. Of course once you're married or in a relationship, you stop being jealous and argue about money!

Then there's that damaging work/power jealousy that affects people who are angry about a "missed" promotion, salary level or other work-related issue. It’s repercussions can be bitchiness or white-anting or seriously trying to damage the reputation of the person who has managed success at their expense. If they don’t make you redundant then best to move on in this case - you’ll just get fired eventually.

Then there's family jealousy, often posing as sibling rivalry. I’ve never been jealous of my siblings except perhaps their earning ability and my younger brother's ability to lose weight by eating no carbs for 8 weeks. I’ve been on the sticky end of their collective and individual jealousy on occasion.

Then there's 'friend jealousy' . . when you're jealous of someone else's popularity. I have been there, often and frequently. I was for a time, very jealous of my best friend. Much as I loved her. She was incredibly popular, totally blessed. . . Shes clever, beautiful, talented. Slim, sporty, eloquent. We grew up together from being 15 years old. I met my husband and many of my friends through her. We went to university together and now we work together. She and her charmed life, while mine is so often spiralling out of control. That in itself made me incredibly jealous.

I look at her and the incredible amount of ‘luck’ and some degree of good timing and decision making that has left her with an intact family, happy marriage, a beautiful home, a secure income, lovely kids and apart from some sporadic health issues . . she and her life are perfect. I was very jealous for a long time. Even now, I feel uncomfortable mixing with some in ‘her crowd’ simply because of their wealth. These people are perfectly nice, perfectly ordinary self-made men and women but they’re just way over my budget and live in a different world. I really can’t afford a week on a Greek Island or a trip to Wimbledon. It’s very intimidating. For a long time I wanted all she had but recently I’ve realised that it’s all come at a cost it’s only a ‘perception’ of which I am jealous.

Friends and lovers alike avoid the pitfalls of jealousy by being honest with each other and avoiding a build-up of negative emotions. I think recently she and I are becoming much better at this even if we hear things we don’t particularly like about each other.

Sensitivity is vital to recognizing the cues that upset and worry other people. But on many levels, jealousy is a sign that one person cares about the other and values the relationship. In short, when jealousy is kept in the bounds of normal behavior it can be a good thing.

However, the minute someone’s pet bunny is threatened . .