Thursday, July 01, 2010

Blue Muse

Once more I feel the fates conspiring. In fact it's been an Eeyore week this week. Always blue.

Perhaps it’s the weather which at 12 Celsius in the middle of the day has me Pashmina’d and Trench coated ‘inside’.  Perhaps it’s my peer at work who has the communication skills of a giraffe (you know they don’t make a noise?) Perhaps it’s that my son has just lost his job or that my daughter’s best friends are loved up and couply,  overseas or like her best 'single' friend, heading that way. Perhaps it’s the temporary departure of my muse and sweet friend who has been the light of my evenings for the past four months. Perhaps it’s the stress of nobody wanting to buy what is ostensibly my retirement plan or my brother being a dick. Perhaps it’s just me worrying about what might rather than what will. Perhaps it's that without posting my in-box is almost empty. Perhaps it’s that shit always happens in small doses like a bathtub filling to the brim via a dripping tap and then one small, tiny, slow motion droplet breaks the surface tension and it all overflows.

Overflow it did. Last night I cried. Silent, gushing tears and a couple of little sobs which aren’t my usual style at all but I just couldn’t help it. I got into my car after a day’s work and lost the proverbial plot. I needed the cathartic release of pent up frustration to set me free and for a few moments, it felt awesomely good.

Even the dog doesn't want to go outside for more than a pee and a poo.

I’ve got that ‘need to be teary’ feeling again. Someone told me once, “Never mind love, you just go and have a good cry and you'll feel better!”  At least it clears the sinuses.

I’ll be honest, all three of us have the blues.  I wasn’t going to post it but since I rarely post, perhaps it will be as cathartic as last night’s sobs. I promise I'll buck up by tomorrow and an SMS from the wondering muse was very reassuring.

So there you are. Self indulgent whine with half the story. Yes, today I have the blues . . . but in 9 weeks, I'll have Paris!

This is a totally true and self-indulgent Theme Thursday post, I'm sure the others have a much more cheery offering!

Ahem!:    Immediately after posting this, I went out in the dark (because the electrician I live with has NOT repaired the lights in two years) to run up to the shops to buy some butter for a roux, clipped the car on one of the wooden car port supports, left a teensy scratch and have ripped my 1992 Honda plastic and brittle bumper bar from my car! Now tell me I'm whining!

47 comments:

English Mum said...

But you have US, darling Baino, your wonderful, ever loyal, loving interweb friends, who are always there for you in times of trouble, strife and general whinginess.

Have a good blub, girl, let it all out.

Here's a tissue xx

Candie Bracci said...

I've been there too darling.It's true that a good cry is relieving.Than it's always a new day.Much love.

Sarah Lulu said...

Oh I've been in that space a couple of times ..let me tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Changes ....the often happen like that in groups ...be ready for some fun to come next for all of you.

Brian Miller said...

turn that frown upside down baino! when life feeds you a crap sandwich take a bit and grin just to show em who is boss...and maybe add ketchup for the flavor. smiles.

sorry you are blue...

nick said...

Oh dear, what a pile-up of disheartening things. All you can do is keep on trucking and refuse to be defeated by setbacks, large or small. Find those inner reserves and draw on them. Or failing that, just pour another glass of chardy....

kylie said...

ah, rats......
when it's like that i curl up in bed to cry myself to sleep if i can.
everything looks better thru puffy eyes the next day

Harnett-Hargrove said...

I'd sob, right here, right now, for Paris in nine weeks!
Keep your chin up and all will follow. -j

Ocean Girl said...

I found myself suddenly vulnerable again too. I guess the blues come and go but you know God willing, you'll be fine tomorrow.

Roy said...

Yup, been there! I usually find some sort of activity disperses the blue mist a bit - going out for a walk, that sort of thing. But mostly you just have to wait it out until it wanders off on its own. Sending cheering vibes your way!

hokgardner said...

So sorry you're having such a blue spell. Here's hoping it passes soon.

California Girl said...

You're entitled. What they heck. I tend to feel guilty when I am unhappy, which I have also been the last three days. No rhyme or reason, just three down days. Maybe the moon? Or maybe the chemicals in my body? Well, it all passes, right?

Sooner or later you'll sell your home. (I didn't know you lived w/ an electrician. I guess I thought you were single. You sly puss.)

Are you still going to Paris in Sept? That is something to look forward to!

Janice said...

What an image...that full tub with shit happening in small doses. And that is so true; that's usually how it happens, one little thing after another. I hope things are looking up. Loved the Eeyore pic, by the way. That little guy has always appealed to me, even as a child.

And Paris. Wow.

Don't Bug Me! said...

OK, so I can buy most of your woes, but really, someone who lives where you do has no right to ever complain about the cold. You don't even know what cold is. So, chin up sweetie, put another sweater on and things will get better. PS Sympathy never was my strong point- sorry.

Mrsupole said...

I always feel better after a big blubber and I am not sure why. Sometimes I can just be sitting there watching a movie and then something sets me off and I just let go or someone says something to me and next thing I know there I go. Hubby and the girls are used to it and just walk away and ignore me until I am done. Other people just go into shock because I am usually such a happy person. I never know when it is going to happen and I could be laughing and having a good time and then something will set me off. So go for it woman, get it out of your system and if it happens again, go for it again. Shit happens. Life happens. Whining happens. This is life and truly a little Muse never hurt anyone either.

I am sending you best wishes blessings and happiness blessing and hope that soon all will be well.

God bless.

One thing that surely does set it off is thinking about my cat Thumper and how much I miss him. I really loved that cat.

moondustwriter said...

Glad you posted sweetie. Blues are part of us.

we love you on the blue days just as much.

keep looking up!!! Moon hugs

get a chance bluemoon

Carolina said...

HA! I laugh at your measly 12 degrees Celsius. That's not cold. That's nice and comfortable. It's 35 degrees Celsius here and tomorrow it will be 39. The elderly drop like flies here.

And wrecking your own car is something hubs does almost daily here.

Paris! Now, that's something to look forward to. Practice the silly walk and you'll feel better in no time.
1 2 3 4 5 6 se-ven, a hat, a stick, an um-brel-la ánd front, be-hind, left, right ánd 1 2 3 4 5 6 se-ven....

Oh, and for a laugh you should go to http://jabblog-jabblog.blogspot.com/2010/06/kulula-airlines.html

and then to http://www.southafrica.to/transport/Airlines/Kulula-flights/Kulula-humour.php5

I promise you'll giggle.

Tom said...

wish i could help, but you've the right to have the blues, we all do...and your chilly winter isn't of any benefit!
hoping you feel better soon, after all, the weekend is upon us!

Betsy said...

hope you feel sunny-yellow very soon!

Carolina said...

Oh, and this is just so your email-box fills up nicely and you feel all loved and popular again, if you dó visit the second link I gave you, be sure to scroll down and listen to the live recording.
Does Kulula fly from Australia to Paris? I'd fly with them, you'll die laughing ;-)

Monkey Man said...

Love the bath tub analogy. As to the blues, a wise woman once suggested to me that if I was going to have a bad day, I should have the best bad day I possibly could.

unstranger said...

I hope you're a songwriter too baino. Only this kind of stuff allows for real songs to emerge. Of course it makes for great characterization in writing too.
Thanks for posting.

Dot-Com said...

Sometimes there's a need for a good cry. I hope it is upwards and onwards from here. Paris is red, pink, green and yellow for sure, but definitely not blue. As Eeyore once said "we can't all, and some of us don't - that's all there is to it".

Leah said...

Oh Baino, you're allowed! Blues cannot be ignored, they just must be lived through. PARIS!!!

AngelMay said...

You can actually BUY someone's retirement plan? Or did I misunderstand?

Hang in there, girl! The world turns and the sun also rises. And Paris! Now there's something to look forward to!

Jill said...

Well, that is MESSED up! I think I would have a good cry and kick the closest tree for good measure.

Hope things are looking better today.

Jingle said...

wow,
turn your life pink now..

be a cool blue!

Susan at Stony River said...

That's the post I was wanting to make for so many weeks this spring, and just didn't have the guts -- I hope the tears clear the clouds away and leave you blue skies instead of blue-all-overs. Good luck on all the little things turning themselves around to better, too, and soon!

otin said...

Aww, Baino, I hate that you are in a funk. My brother always says, "everyone's life sucks, it is just how we look at it that keeps us happy or sad" I kinda believe that. Happiness is in our heads.

Vicky said...

I had a melt down last week, you ain't alone :)

e said...

Sorry to hear about all that...hell, you're entitled to more than a good sobfest there...

If you were here, I'd share the tissue...

I'm taking care of things, but it damn sure doesn't feel like it...

A jerk gave me the kiss off via e-mail, that was a favour in disguise...

Next week, I get to do yet another test to discover whether my dysfunctioning thyroid has any unwanted tumors and just what they might be...

One cat keeps pooping outside the box, no matter how clean it is,

and, I get to give my dentist 1300 plus for a crown because I have no dental insurance...

I've been a moody shit and spent the day on the phone with several idiots and there's no end in sight...

I'm going to bed now...Tomorrow will be better!

Just remember, Paris in September...

laughingwolf said...

well shit! if it weren't for bad luck...

Gladys said...

Everyone gets the blues now and then. Trench coated and pashimaed? Can I hang out with you? It's hotter than a blue blaze here.

Megan said...

PAREEEEEEEEE!

I need to get on the skype so's I can wow you with my late night drunken ramblings...oh wait, it's only 8:30...

PattiKen said...

OK, I was feeling all sympathetic and huggy and stuff until I got to the Paris part.

OK, OK, I still send hugs. But Paris? Geez, just picture yourself at a outside cafe table on the Champs Elysees with a nice glass of wine (merlot?). That'd put a smile on my face.

P.S. Love the song.

i beati said...

cathartic

Lorna Lilo said...

Tell someone to fuck off. It works for me.

JeffScape said...

Aw, cheer up. You're wonderful, your daughter is gorgeous, and your son is hilarious. It'll all work out.

Isabella Golightly said...

Paris, Rome, Florence, Venice, Milano, Radda-in-Chianti, Siena, Sam Gimignano, Arezzo, Volterra, Montepulciano, Poggibonsi, Poppi, Puglia, Emilia-Romagna, Largo Como, Torino... Chin up. It'll get better.

Baino said...

Thanks everyone. Yeh well, the car is temporarily held together with chewing gum and the tears have subsided thanks to an SMS from the muse, the weather's still crap but the weekend is nigh, Clare's booking a trip to Melbourne for a party weekend and Adam's got the resume sorted.

River said...

Sometimes a good cry or two is just what you need. I love what Monkey Man said about having the best bad day that you can.

Alan Burnett said...

Rarely seen so many warm comments to a post. You must have something girl - like a lot of friends all over the place. Car bumpers - they're just buts of old metal (or if the are anything like mine, bits of old tissue paper held together with what appears to be balsa wood)

Leeuna said...

Girl, I KNOW you got the blues...you described them so well. It sounds like some of my days. I hope things start looking up for you soon. Hang in there. Often, a good rant and a few tears is just what the doctor ordered.

blackwatertown said...

Sometimes the best thing to do is not leave the house, settle on to the sofa with a blanket, some guilty edible pleasure and begin watching Casablanca. If you drink Baileys at the same time, it doesn't count as alcohol if you pour it over something. Then it's food. Alternatively ginger wine also does not count as alcohol. Officially, in our house, it's medicine.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

wah, now i'm down and blue

here's hoping that next week will be all bright and rosy!

hugs

Warm Coco said...

Girl,
I'll meet you in the Whine Cellar for a good cry and a good zinfandel anytime!
feel better soon, i hope.
And did you say you're going to PARIS????

Mmm said...

Oh, dear Baino. I feel for you here as I get this way far too often sadly but yes, we come out somehow on the other end, don;t we? Glad yours was short lived.

Grannymar said...

I am only home and playing catch up. Five days later means you are five days nearer to Paris!