Spookily True

I was just mucking about this morning and did this blogthings quiz but it's scarily accurate.

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are a laid back person with rather low energy. You aren't lazy... you *are* sensitive and empathetic. You are reserved and not very outgoing. You are deeply thoughtful and introspective. You have a lot of control over your actions and emotions. You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are conservative, old fashioned, and a little stubborn. You are resistant to change. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

There’s a tag or a meme or an idea going round at the moment. Your ‘Eight Rules To Live By.” I found 8 a bit restrictive and since I don’t mind being tagged, I’m not much of a tagger so consider yourselves all tagged and have a go. After thinking about my rules for life, they weren’t vastly different to this Nepali Tantra Totem which I’ve had for quite a while, tucked somewhere in the recesses of my C Drive:

• Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Follow the three R's: Respect for self. Respect for others. Responsibility for all your actions.
• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
• Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
• When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
• Spend some time alone.
• Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home.
• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
• Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
• Be gentle with the earth.
• Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
• Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
• Call your mother.
• Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon

Play Me or Don't Dance Like You're Drinking Weird

These are the words spelled out in a nonsensical sentence from a whole bunch of "Party Words" given to me as a Kris Kringle present last Christmas and they're amongst a bunch of stuff on my fridge door that kind of define my family. Whilst I'd love a stainless steel, plain fronted fridge, mine is covered with little bits of everyones' lives from Aktor Fridge Magnets to a lovely photo of me, TheBoss and Thommo taken at a wedding last year. The items that end up on your fridge, are quite telling about the owners:
Magnets: Norwest Veterinary Clinic, The Kellyville Vet, Wires Wildlife Rescue, Seal a Fridge and the Recycling Service. Postcards from Paris and Talin, the latest in many that I leave there to remind me there is a world at large. A Magnetic Calendar which reminds me which bins to put out each week . . .Yellow lids fortnightly, green lids weekly . . .an invitation or two to the latest 21st birthday celebration. There's also a large magnetic HELEN . . .stolen from the production board at my long gone creative writing years, the rates bill, to remind me how exhorbitant it is to live on acreage. A list of Onga swimming pool pumps and their variously required chemical needs, a list of iron rich foods to remind me that I'm starving my daughter of red meat and a little magnetic clip that stores 5% off petrol vouchers for anyone to pinch as needed and a photo of a life long family friend holding a crocodile in the Northern Territory. No matter how I try to keep the surface clear, things that have no home elsewhere, end up on my fridge. What's on yours?

8 Things

K8's tagging (and I don't know the difference between 'it' and meme either). So here's 8 things some of you don't know about me:

1. I have a fearful obsession about burning to death (let's start on a cheery note!)
2. I am the only person in the universe who hasn't been to Paris and it shits me to tears
3. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up - time is running out.
4. I constantly talk to myself and re-live scenarios where I didn't get to say what I really meant. I sort those fuckers out loud all over again while I'm driving home.
5. I have the same small strawberry mark above my knee that my mother, sister and grandmother have/had
6. I can make fancy dress outfits: Telly Tubby's, White Tigers, Wizards, Medusa, Snow White to name a few
7. I can't stay on one of those pool dolphins
8. I've never dated anyone with a tattoo and this bothers me although I don't know why

I've never tagged so here goes:

Kahlerisms - Open up quiet man
Benchwarmer - only 7 days to go
Jen - you're a real blogger now

What I really really want . . .

I’m not sure where we get this idea of ‘the one’. I was in love once but I’m still not sure he was ‘the one’. And actually he was the third ‘the one’ that I thought was ‘the one’ and just happened to be 'the one' I married - so obviously he wasn’t ‘the one’.

I’ve been quite content to be single as the kiddywinks were growing up and as I've said before, being a widow, there seemed no urgency to get back in the saddle so to speak. There were enough distractions to keep me busy and I’m also partial to my own company as long as I can stay in touch with friends and talk to myself ad infinitum. However, if I was in the position where someone found me interesting enough to begin a relationship, what characteristics would I embrace, how would I know whether he’s ‘the one’ or frankly at my age, I’ll settle for the one sitting next to the one sitting next to the one . . .

My standards are very high but not difficult. I think I frighten men off:

Physical:
Must be taller than me
Well groomed - clean shaven or well trimmed, sweet smelling
A kindness in the face – hard to describe that one, it’s a combination of smile and eyes a sort of knowingness
Can perform as appropriate – likes spooning
Own teeth an advantage


Abilities
Can remember to put the toilet seat down after use
Some mechanical or fix it nouse. If I’m going to do his washing and ironing, he’s got to be able to get my tractor going and fix my down lights.
Rembers bin night and puts them out on time
Good conversationalist
A foodie
A filmgoer
Comfortable camping in a park or in a canoodling in a penthouse
Impeccable manners
Able to ‘take care’ of me
Good in bed . . not a thrashing machine . . .just ‘in tune’
Must drive


Emotional
Isn’t jealous but is a little posessive
Passion for life and a clear understanding of his goals
Humility
Calmness under pressure
Generous to his friends and family
An ability to lead
An ability to make confident decisions
Absolutely honest but able to be so with humour or sensitivity
Someone who can take charge without taking over
Capable of real emotional commitment
Great sense of humour
Empathic and understanding of the situation of others
Will oblige me with things he doesn’t like to do but does it anyway to keep me happy, much as I would oblige him things he likes to do just because it keeps him happy
Someone with whom I can completely drop my guard


And in return, I can promise a clean dwelling with three meals a day, complete housekeeping service, fast internet, a clean bed and a bit on the side.

Right . . . so that’s why I’m single . . . .

Secrets and Lies

Aha . . but which is which (self-indulgent slurry that I am):

I once spent time in a maximum security cell
I've ridden an elephant
I went to four primary schools and 3 high schools in two countries
I have a crush on someone I've never met
I've never lived further than 20 kms from my maternal/paternal home
I once had the holiday of a lifetime in Tahiti
I only brush my teeth once a day
I'm allergic to depilatory cream
I can hold a wee for up to 14 hours
I never brush my hair
I like the feeling of picking my nose
I only own 4 pairs of shoes
I can't leave the house without straightening the towels and making the bed
I drove a Police Range Rover down the M1 in England without a licence
I have a fear of being burned to death
I can't stand being called 'Ma' or 'Mrs B'
I have a crush on someone I've met but can never have
I can't boil an egg so the white is hard and the centre is dippy
I was zapped by an electric stingray
I've dated an Ice Cream Man who's van played Greensleeves
I've never jaywalked
I've shoplifted
I can drive a tractor
I spent six weeks on a ship and travelled 12,000 miles
I assembled a coffee table, dining table, eight chairs and two bureaus of Ikea furniture in one night
My favourite colours are blue and yellow
I've never lied about my age
I've never been asked for proof of age
I once managed to start my car, many times, by hitting the starter motor with my shoe
I once had a large spider on my sun viser so got out and left my car by the side of the road
I can't program a DVD player
I capsised a catamaran then righted it and sailed home
I'm not keen on chocolate
I've been down a coal mine
I can roll my tongue - it's genetic
I'm learning Spanish
I've rowed a Waka (Maori War Canoe)
I've walked through a glacier
I can't stand margarine
I hate having my feet tickled

The truth is stranger than fiction . . .