Sunday, September 16, 2007

Kellyville Chainsaw Massacre

Prunage . . that's what's been going on this Sunday. Severe prunage. Someone should tell Babybro that pruning should be done in autumn while plants are latent to encourage new growth in spring. But no . . out he gets first with a foikn great chain saw and slices the bejeezus out of a flowering Tibuchina tree before arming himself with hedge cutters and dicing and slicing his way through a fully blossomed May bush, Azaleas that are in full bloom, a freshly green sprouting Japanese Maple and a 50 metre Gardenia hedge. There are now no buds on the hedge. It was all I could do to pull the plug on him before he axed the Plumbago that trails along our bedrooms and shelters my little miner family . . . So now, our pretty Spring garden looks like a green marine with a flat top, brutalised by the 'slasher'. Fortunately, because the seasons here are so mild, the buds should grow back by Christmas and we'll have our Gardenia hedge in full fragrant bloom. Either that or he'll have killed the lot! I guess I should thank my lucky stars that he didn't try topiary!


Grannymar said...

I could do with a couple of those topiary guys. One each side of my garden!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Babypro needs to be sent on a horticultural course! Or you could try giving him a short back and sides with his chain saw... Men, honestly, want a job done properly and at the right time, get a woman in.

ClareBear said...

Don't pretend you don't love to hack/blow/wipe/whipper snip/mow/mulch/sweep everything that's in your way! You forget how ambitious YOU get with outdoor machineray!!!

Jefferson Davis said...

Why didn't you try to stop him with your own chainsaw? A duel of sorts? Just be gland he didn't wait 'til Christmas day, invitin' the rest of the family to join in the hacking and pruning! :)

Baino said...

GM: Frankly, I'd rather have a gardener (young, tanned, shirt off . . .)
AV: I live with a horticulturalist. Believe me, they don't know shit except how to grow tobacco and ugly exotics

CB: Yes, I like a tidy garden and OK I have an unnatural relatinshipo with my blower but you just don't prune in Spring!

JD: I haven't got a chain saw. It's BabyBro's. He's a bit frightened to use it as it's a very large one. You know what they say about men and the size of their tools.