Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Tim Tam Slam

I have a dark and considered post brewing which is probably driving me to chocolate. I’m constantly saying to people that I’d rather have cheese than chocolate. That I don’t have a sweet tooth but as I sit here pondering how I'm going to attack a rather serious subject, with a lovely strong cup of coffee and two Tim Tams, I’m thinking there isn’t a better biscuit in the world!

If you don’t know what a Tim Tam is, you’ll have to ask a resident Aussie or come over and buy some. There’s nothing like them in the world. I can soothe my conscience too because the double dipped chocolaty goodness comes from the MS chocolate guy who put a few in the little charity chocky bin on reception. . . conscience-free chocolate. No wonder I’m feeling less aggressive and more pensive today.

This legendary biscuit is, or so I’m told, a little bit like a UK Penguin Bar but was named by the Australian Arnotts biscuit magnate in honour of a Kentucky Derby Winner.

In recent years, Arnotts have developed variations of Tim Tams including Chewy Caramel, Mocha, Double Coat (in milk and dark chocolate), Chilli Chocolate (fanfuckintastic!), Classic Dark Chocolate, Black Forest Fantasy, Creamy truffle Temptation, Choc Orange and the latest with a pink chocolate and strawberry centre with sales proceeds supporting Breast Cancer Research - what better reason to eat chocolate biscuits? "I'm sorry Officer . . . I did it for Charity!"

And seriously folks, there's only one way to eat these and that's with the Tim Tam Slam. It's messy but ultimately satisfying.

The Tim Tam Slam, also known as the Tim Tam Suck, Tim Tam Explosion, Tim Tam Orgasm, Tim Tam Straw, Shot-gunning a Tim Tam, Tim Tam Party, or just plain Tim Tamming involves biting off opposing corners of the Tim Tam and then using it as a 'straw' to suck up a hot beverage (usually tea, coffee, hot chocolate, milo or liquor such as irish cream or Dom Benedictine or even a nice sticky wine or Tokay).

Then, just before the biscuit falls apart, it is placed in the mouth. The thicker chocolate coating on the Double Coat Tim Tam offers a more stable exoskeleton to help ensure the biscuit does not collapse prematurely. The Chewy Caramel variety also has an advantage for performing the Tim Tam Slam since the caramel centre helps to hold the biscuit together for a slightly longer time. Although if you eat either of these you will go to Hell for your sin as these particular varieties are the work of the Devil. Nothing good and virtuous could ever taste like this!

Seriously, if you want to try some for yourself, just say the word and I’ll oblige.


Grannymar said...

And there was I being healthy, eating toasted wheaten bread with a cup of coffee...

Now I am tearing the house apart looking for Chocolate!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Shame on you, you've made me slobber and dribble all over my keyboard. Get ye behind me, evil woman, and wash thy mouth out with chocolate!

Baino said...

Sorry Grannymar. I rarely do the chocolate thing but today, it was perfect. (wasn't game to do the Tim Tam Slam in front of workmates tho, too many slurpy noises and I was wearing a white T-Shirt so fraught with danger.)

Baino said...

Ah Vanilla - now I KNOW you're a choccy freak. Just watch that 'U' key it's particularly susceptible to sticking (spilled champers on mine last week and had to get the WD40 out!) Plus just finished my dental visits - bonding nicely with painless Pete - so no chocolate mouthwash for this little black duck!

Richard E. Alperson said...

Yes, I'll take twenty boxes!

Send them to Scott Exploration Base,
British Zone,

Could you send me a plane ticket out of here too?

Baino said...

I'm sorry Dickie. Qantas no longer fly to Antarctica since the closure of Mawson's station. I'll strap them to Migaloo who is a white Hump Back expected through within weeks. It's migration season in Oz. Just look for the pink Breast Cancer Prevention ribbon near the blow hole and yell 'g'day blubber biatch' she'll know what to do! Don't call her a 'c', she'll swim back to Hawaii without delivering her payload.