Sunday, October 28, 2007

I Am a Time Lord Baby!

Johnny Dodge has long finished his dinner by the time I’m thinking of knocking off work. Shifty’s snuggled the snugglepot into the cot. South Africa aint that far away from Perth but it’s still yesterday there and Vanilla is plotting her latest novel . . . Pennsylvania is 16 hours behind and just getting home from work when I’m planning lunch.

So just how do time zones work? It’s all about longitude. Think of the earth as a segmented orange, you’re holding the orange so that the segments run from top to bottom. The navel where the orange was attached to the tree in your forefinger, the base of the orange in your thumb. Rotate the orange from left to right, east to west. That’s the effect of timezones.

It seems crazy I know that with daylight saving time, we’re two hours behind New Zealand (bastards get the news first) 16 hours in front of the Eastern US states, 10 hours in front of Western Europe and 9 hours in front of South Africa. Weird, you bet, but there’s something kind of sweet in knowing that while Absolute Vanilla is having breakfast in Capetown, Brianf is finishing his late night Vodka and Water and lamenting the latest baseball loss. Kate has just put down her knitting. Jefferson Davis is posting his last pic and poem and getting ready for bed in the US of A and I’m in me jimmy jams and about start the day. Daz is finishing his last game of Halo for the night. Grandad’s sipping his last drop of cocoa and disposing of the day’s evidence just as I’m cranking up the leaf blower. Grannymar is dusting the bedroom for stray spiders before hitting the pillow. Nonny’s . . .well she’s either being thrown out of a pub or making sure she’s still in possession of her knickers and K8 is away in the land of Nod . . . Anonymous has been up since sparrows fart for obvious reasons. ClareBear and Drummer Boy have just arrived home . . Damian is driving to Melbourne for coffee because . . .well that’s actually got nothing to do with time, that’s just him, apparently it’s worth a ten hour drive to find a decent Barista.

Pretty cool . . . reminds us that we’re in a global village and somehow tenuously clinging to a spinning sphere. And if that doesn’t blow you away, if I flew to New York today, I’d arrive two hours before I left. Yes! Yes! Yes! . . I am a Time Lord! Crank it baby!

Easy out . . World Clocks on your Google Home Page!


Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Time zones, phooey, another of man's strange inventions. My theory is such - time is like lumpy custard, it doesn't really exist - we just like to think we can be in control.

Now, about that clip. Where was Christopher Ecclestone??? How could you do that to me - and while I'm still in my jim-jams - oh a writer's life is such a tough one - nothing beats working in your jim jams all day long! Morning is night, night is morning, time is an illusion - see what I mean about lumpy custard...

Grannymar said...

There is only one time for me: A good time!

Being alive is a good time!

Anonymous said...

There's a Bearman who farts before the sparrows! HAHHAAAA

Saving the clip till later ;)

Anonymous said...

WHAAAAAAA the clip was GREAT!!!! I miss the cardboard rocks and strips of plastic for ice and tentacles … watching Dr Who is one of the few things the family do together now … when it’s on!

Brianf said...

You're only 15 hours ahead of EDT. Next week you'll be 16 hours ahead of EST. And time isn't lumpy custard. It has always existed. We just came up with a way of quantifing it. Measureing it, as it were. Personally I think everyone should just be on Eastern time then there would be no problems. It would be the same time everywhere. Easy. see?

Nonny said...

It is the oddest thing, time. How do we know what time it is?, I don’t mean the whole GMT thing, I mean do you ever wake up not have a watch but know roughly what time is?, I can do that, I always know what time it is but even when I go abroad and there is a time difference I still know what time it is. And ye know what is even stranger? Despite the fact I always have a good idea of the time I would literally lose my mind if I didn’t have a clock or watch to hand.

Clearly I have had too much soup this evening I am off to bed, goodnight and God bless!

Baino said...

Ah in the words of David Bowie "Time, she flexes like a whore!" Totally irrelevant but I like the imagery.

GM: You're right and I'm up for a good time

AV: Lumpy custard? Wow, that brings back memories of school dinners. Sorry about Christopher but I went for the Orbital Theme rather than the clip!

Anon: I I can only guess who the Bearman is and if he's up before you and the birdies, he's a freak . .Weren't the sets great! The theme music used to scare me shitless as a kid.

Brianf: Happy to standardise as long as it's daylight here at midday . . .Who's EST EDT? By my reckoning, it's now 12:48 EDT in Sydney haha . . and 21:48 EDT in your neck of the woods.

Nonny: Can I have a bowl of your soup? I know what you mean, I am very good at guestimating time. Never wear a watch tho.

Nancy said...

Hello Baino,

Here is what Robert Louis Stevenson had to say on your subject.


The Sun is not a-bed when I
At night upon my pillow lie;
Still round the Earth his way he takes,
And morning after morning makes.

While here at home in shining day,
We round the sunny garden play,
Each little Indian sleepy head Is being kissed and put to bed.

And when at eve I rise from tea,
Day dawns beyond the Atlantic Sea;
And all the children in the West Are getting up and being dressed.

Don't you love it ???

Baino said...

Nancy: You have the nicest ways. How on earth do you remember all this stuff. I think it's kind of cool that I can talk to people on the other side of the world, the day before! Then, I am a time lord!