Saturday, February 16, 2008

Adrenalin Junkie or Stupid MOFO

Some time ago I was woken from my light slumber by the sound of helicopters (yep, 2 or three) choofing loudly outside. Then by an alien light that flooded the house and streamed in every window lighting up the back yard like the MCG. Whilst no dogs barked and only BabyBro heard the kafuffle whilst everyone else slept through it, I did the unthinkable. I wondered outside to see what on earth was going on. It turned out, a break in had taken place in a bank over at Norwest, the industrial development at the end of our road and two perpetrators were on the run. PoliceAir and a couple of news helicopters were scanning the street to try to locate the escapees. It struck me . . .whilst standing bathed in light, watching the tops of the gum trees in their frenzied wind blown state . . . that the offenders may well be hiding in my back yard! Idiot. So I finally ran inside, locked up big time and swear I heard someone running along the side fence.

Tonight, I just did another really stupid thing. Even stupider than standing in the middle of the back yard eyeing helicopters scanning the paddock with a spotlight. Yep at 3am in the morning I heard one dog barking half-heartedly (nothing unusual there - possums and bats usually exact the same treatment) and a shuffling noise on the concrete in the carport so what did I do . . . grabbed my maglite and went outside. Not before stirring Lily into a snufflying frenzy so she shot out the door like a real guard dog but with little more than a skittling noise and a gruffly growl. I followed with the big Maglite in hand, waiving it in the air like a light sabre (in bare feet mind you), yelling like woman possessed and chased after a shadowy shape which was now running down the front garden. Funny how you feel no pain when the adrenalin rushes or the stupidity locks in. (My feet are sore now!)

What an IDIOT. My heart's still pumping . . thank God he took off. Then I glanced sideways and there's another one walking quite serenely, if you please, down the driveway to a waiting car! I opened my own car door as if I was going to get in and chase them down and they both picked up pace, jumped into the car and sped off! It's still dark and a quick scan suggests nothing was taken, perhaps they were just taking a short cut through the back paddock and were caught by surprise. Perhaps they were scoping the four unlocked cars in the carport . . .who knows! Just another sign that urbanity is creeping into Brigadoon.

Now every creak and tick in the house has me jumping out of my skin! It's gonna be a long night!

Perhaps I should get this version . . .looks a bit more convincing!


Nick said...

But I thought you had the kangaroo with the machine gun to defend you against marauders? Or is he on holiday? Jeez, it sounds like Crime Central over there, you'd better start taking a few precautions - like locking your cars and training Lily to tear intruders to shreds.

ian said...


What were you going to do if you had caught someone? Ask for his name and address! What time does it get light there?

Baino said...

Nick: A kangaroo would have been more of a threat than three stupid labradors I assure you. I think it was kids shuffling around. The guy on the driveway looked quite young, they walk past on their way home from the pub in the wee hours. Labradors only tear lamb shanks to shreds! Useless.

Ian: I have no idea that's why it was so stupid - I'd have clocked him with my Maglite I guess and been arrested for assault! I just yelled like a banshee and scared him off. BabyBro is next door so I would have got him involved if it went pear shaped I 'spose. I dunno, I just wasn't thinking! It's 6am now and the birds are just starting. Fwooaaar!

Kate said...

Gah. You know, curiosity killed the cat, and cats are much smaller and squishier than most people... perhaps you could just keep you safe, for a while, OK?

Grannymar said...

That explains why the Skype notice kept popping up! I thought you were watching for ClareBear.

Anonymous said...

I feel better you have Babybro next door. Sheeeeesh! I do stupid things like chase truck taggers down the street in my nightie and bare feet. To think I could do anything with bare hands against a gang carrying spray cans eludes me. Don't forget your camera next time though!

Ryan said...

Gone are the days where you can leave your car unlocked. Thank goodness for garages, I couldn't stand the thought of my baby being outside :(

Brianf said...

Rock River

Oh, that's right, I forgot, you're a subject not a citizen.

Baino said...

Kate: Yeh I know, I should have thought about it. Actually if I'd flashed him with my camera he might have got a surprise but he ran anyway. I'm thinking it might have been friends of my niece who I caught off guard! Tonight the cars are locked and the door will be too!

Sorry GrannyMar you must have thought I was sleep blogging!

Thanks Anony . .I really didn't think about how stupid it was until afterwards. I yelled so loud I felt sure I'd wake them up next door but they didn't hear a thing! Now watch those taggers or you'll end up looking like the side of a train!

Ryan: Sad but true. First busted for a bonfire, now randoms creeping around the verandah! How on earth will I cope with suburbia. At least you're little bundle of joy is locked up in the garage. Dad's car in the driveway is it?

Brianf: I thought you weren't going to! It was a kid snuffling around. I'm not gonna shoot him unless its with a camera. Although a friend suggested I take up some defense classes just in case. One push of the septum and bang! Nose in brain syndrome. I believe the food's not bad in prison and I could learn a trade - been thinking about a career change hmmmm !

And (you right wing libertarian) . . I'm a subject AND a citizen. It's a good feeling! (Between you and me, next time he's gonna get the hose! Try running with soggy Daks! Maybe I should buy one of Dr Don's Dobermans! Grrrrrrrr *rolls over for tummy tickle*