When Is a Shovel A Spade?

It’s been a weird week both at work and play, I’ve been an advisor, a mentor, a student, and in the case of one particular person at work an absolute tyrant. I’ve given advice, taken advice, had a laugh. I’ve been patronised and vindicated so it’s been as volatile as the world markets but I’m feeling very positive for the first time in quite a long time. I've enjoyed the ride even if it has been a bit of a roller coaster. One thing I’ve noted is how frustrating it can be when people don’t say what they mean, when they play emotional games, play politics or are patronising.

So in the interest of calm and serendipity, respect and building good relationships at home and at work I will share some things I learned or that were reinforced to me this week and hopefully leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy, hey, I'm in Marketing:

1. Don’t call a spade a long wooden handled implement with a flattened metal protrusian at one end built for the purpose of excavation – it’s a fucking shovel! Nothing else. I can’t tell you the time I’ve wasted this week talking about the same issue in a variety of lengthy convolutions. KISS – Keep It Simple – Stupid, Less IS More. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
2. Smile when you talk. I have had many delightful interludes with Rattie Mattie this week and the reason, he smiles on the other end of the phone. There are often gaps while he’s troubleshooting a problem or waiting for an upload to run but he is personable, friendly, funny and chatty and it makes ALL the difference when a client is frustrated by things not working properly. Thanks Matt. I’ll miss not talking to you when all this IT business is sorted.
3. Don’t patronise. Jeez. This seems to be particularly the perogative of men. There’s the “You will do it now?” patroniser . . the one who has just given you a brief and expects to jump the queue because his work is far more important than anyone elses. Or the “Surely you knew that . .” technical patroniser – how the fuck would I know that? I’m not a Level 2 Systems Analyst, I don’t know how to access the server with my mobile phone? - Do you? - “No” - then shut up! Or the worst one of all, the “I’m going to talk over the top of you or at the very least nod my head and say correct three thousand times while you’re talking”. This type of patroniser makes my blood boil. They don’t listen, they don’t hear, they think they’re absolutely right and have no idea how irritating the habit of mouthing words which are being spoken by someone else can be! STOP IT
4. Be kind to yourself. Don’t be disparaging. If you’re a bit narky, you’re having a bad day, you’re not necessarily a bitch. If you’re a bit low, you’re feeling emotional not falling apart. If you’re a little absent minded, you’re being focussed on one thing instead of concentrating on many. Treat yourself with respect because often others won’t.
5. If you are keen on a girl, don’t go out of your way to make her jealous. This is no way to begin a trusting relationship. Be honest, open, don’t tell her too much, but just enough to peak her interest. Don’t talk about your other encounters, your ex or the girls you meet in bars. If it’s her you’re interested in, then it’s her you should focus on. That works for the lads as well by the way.
6. Be nice to others. The response you get when you say something funny, pleasing, complementary or just plain nice to others is well worth the effort. And I know a few people who are thinking “Oh jeez she’s going off on her saccharine, I love the world this week tangent!” This week I’ve made people laugh, one scowl (but that was intentional) some have agreed, some have complemented and flattered but by being nice to others, you get paid back in spades . . . .

Ah, and we’re back to shovels again!

Have a good one . . I'm off for a Chardy!

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