Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Mars

There is no doubt we're different. And thank goodness. I love men and embrace diversity. Depsite their collective propensity to not realise that empty toilet rolls go in the bin and the toilet seat really should be left down . . .gotta love their bones!

Seems only fair after the Venus post that the girls reveal what they like in a man. And we're not all shallow, not all of the time anyway. I'm certainly not turned on by the incessantly cute yet hapless males in the feminine hygiene commercials or the well oiled and chiselled Armani types in razor blade ads. Sports figures generally leave me cold and a broken nose or angular jaw is not my scene. I can't stand the Beckham types all boofy and beautiful then open their mouths and all that exits is the "Pepsi" squeak.

I've gotta say, I'm a bum girl. Love the glutes . . . I like a bit of 'roundage' and can't stand saggy pockets filled with stuffed wallets. Let me carry your wallet for you darling! Money really is an aphrodesiac.

Faces are important but don't have to be screamingly handsome just nice looking with happy eyes and a willingness to smile. I'm more into personality attributes such as good sense of humour, intelligence, broad general knowledge, good conversation, fairness, and an ability to fix electronic things. As you get older, your priorities change somewhat.

I take notice of hands as well. They don't have to be soft but nails have to be clean. Teeth, also important . . . must be the horse lover in me but I like a man with a good set of his own pearly whites. They don't have to be straight, just well maintained.

Lips . . must have them . . .that's a given.

Not too hairy, not too svelte . . . not keen on facial hair.

Straight talker, no boardroomspeak, no silly games, a WYSIWYG man but gentle with it. Must remember birthdays and anniversaries.

Then again 'shallow me' will settle for buns so tight you can bounce 'em off the walls.

So, my vote for attractive men? I had a crush on (would you believe) Richard Harris when I was in my teens - what was I thinking? that's possibly sharing too much and you're now worried about my complete lack of judgement.

These days . . I like younger men . . . men my age seem to have lost their sense of humour and their humility. They tend to be serious, self absorbed, patronising and set in their ways and are strangely compulsed to remain in the 70's and 80's at all costs. They are reluctant to have their beliefs challenged.

So at the top of the list is someone like Christian Bale, now there's a man! Just that right amount of 'lispage' when he talks and an ever-changing body shape. Not to mention the rubber suit. Hugh Jackman's not bad either . . got those impish good looks and a cheeky smile. Plus he can act, sing and dance . . . I even saw him on a cooking show once so he's the well rounded package. Ahh Nananoo . . . OK not a lot between the ears but he's a killer in a long leather coat. . ."Whoaa . ."

Men my age . . .maybe my Gyno - er maybe not, that's a bit freaky. He's good looking enough but I couldn't deal with what he does for a living, knowing where those well manicured and steady hands have been.

Denzel Washington . . ahh now there's a smile to melt an icy heart!

In the mature stakes . . . I used to like Harrison Ford until he had his mid-life crisis, pierced his ear and affixed a prissy diamond and now looks like a real knob going out with Calista 'hang-on-to-me-in-case-the-breeze-knocks-me-over' Flockhart,

Best Senior heart throb? I can't really go past Anthony Hopkins - seriously spooky and ultimately huggable, he reminds me of my Dad!

What I want . . what I really really want . . .

What I'll get . . .


16 comments:

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

I'm a sucker for the bathroom cleaning muscles, dimples and good grooming. I want a man that finds even the most mundane things such as ducks, 4am caesar salad and ugly children as hilarious as I do.

Anonymous said...

OH MY! I'm hot enough already today! MWHAHHAHHAAAAA. ALL my husbands have been younger and I'll take all those with links including Anthony Hopkins ... it is MY birthday!


PS: Bearman stayed home for work today to be my slave
};-}

Baino said...

Clare & Jem: What's funny about ducks . . except when they sit in trees? And you'd better find a bathroom cleaning muscle man cos you never do it!

Anon: hippo birdie and manny nonny returns. ALL your husbands, you working through the entire fire brigade? Double Awwww-ness to Bearman for not farting before sparrows.

Anonymous said...

Oh ... I wasn't awake yet to stop his farting but he HAS paid for it today! MWHAHHAAA. *hick*

Nonny said...

Dude American psycho, you'd never be able to trust him. I like men who look after themselves, clean shaven, well dressed, the suite and tie types.

Daz said...

Pepesi Squeak!?!

I drink a positively gastrointestinal tract destroying amount of Pepsi and I still have a voice that would make most men sound high in comparison.

You quit ragging on Pepsi.

Baino said...

Nonny: I think we all like a sharp dressed man!

Daz: I reckon, you're a Pepsi fan or a Coke addict . . it's been so long, I've forgotten what you sound like!
O ye of the outrageously handsome suitage. Looks like the ladies like you're type!

Grannymar said...

I'm far to busy giving english lessons to tell you about the men I like ;)

Shallow Hal said...

Fat birds don't count.

Baino said...

SH: Oi! Who you callin' a fat bird! I prefer 'voluptuous' or 'well rounded'.

GM: so how is the Italian Stallion?

Jefferson Davis said...

"Money really is an aphrodesiac". Soooo True!!! :)

Hilarious post, Baino! :)

Rag on Pepsi all you want. I'm a Coke fan!

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

I think I bleed Coke!

Baino said...

JD: Ah Pepsi/Coke, waste of good bubbles I'm afraid. Unless they're in a nice Pinot Chardonnay . . .

Clare and Jem: Think of the calories!

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