Thursday, April 10, 2008

Gotta Love the Cock or Two

Well in accordance with last night's post. It's been an emotional day. I can't sleep and have been up since 2.45 am. I'm still in Coventry and I took the day off to have reunion lunch with past boss who thinks I'm as saint. Then . . gladragged and ready to roll, I had a call from my solicitor. I've spent most of the day feeling devastated, angry, teary and desperate - Did I mention I cried a lot for many reasons - quite liberating for someone not prone to tears. The light at the end of the tunnel was snuffed. My trip to Europe extinguished just minutes after talking to ClareBear on Skype who wants to connect in November. My hopes of paying off my kid's student loans and perhaps buying another pair of sensible shoes dashed! My hopes for financial independence crushed thanks to "ShitWest" who at the exchange of contracts stage decided they'd changed their minds and would offer only 1% option and a 12 month settlement. "We are not in an aquisition phase due to rising interest rates and market volatility" Corporate fucks. Why make an offer if you're not prepared to go through with it. I am gutted.

But, in true stoic form . . I have decided to look at the world through rose coloured glasses and consider my lot a 'glass half full' . . and post something which I think is funny but many don't appreciate. Cockatoo Ridge winery has a new billboard causing a stir. So as I fight back the tears of complete disbelief, anger and total frustration . . here's something to make you giggle:

Massive billboards across the country will feature the former Miss World contestant Erin McNaught(y) with a risque slogan!

The 25-year-old, who’s due to appear in Neighbours this month (oo-errr made it she has), says she didn’t realise the campaign would be so smutty. Yeah right! Thanks Erin, you brought a smile to an otherwise totally shitty day.


This photo of the lovely Erin however, didn't raise an eyebrow!



Excuse me while I go and slash my wrists!





16 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHHAHAAA, haven't heard or seen about Erin McNaught(y)'s latest! Thanks for the giggle Baino :)

There's only upwards after hitting that rock bottom ...

Baino said...

Good God girl you're quick on the draw! Only just posted it. I am so upset today, we were so jubilant to get the offer. Disappointrd has a whole new meaning. Mainly because I wanted to meet Clare in Nov and come home with her I miss her soooo much. And I'm the one who never cries unless a bird dies. Today just a twat reduced to a lump of moosh. Tis true. The only way is up and things can only get better! Oooh feel a disco moment coming on!

Nick said...

Shitwest's behaviour is disgusting. What we call gazundering in these parts - offering you less when the deal's about to go through and it's hard to back out (gazumping meaning offering MORE to trump someone else). No wonder you're gutted and tearful. Banks everywhere are desperately trying to recoup their self-created loan losses by filching more money any which way.

The Erin ad is either grossly sexist or hilarious. Must admit I see it as both! As for her scantily-clad pic - phew what a scorcher! (Sorry about that, I'll just take another Prozac)

ian said...

Now, I really do think some Merv Hughes sledging is in order! Can you imagine what would be muttered into that moustache if he had been mucked about like that?

The McNaught(y) pun would not work here. The 'gh' would be harsh, so Naughton (a common name in Galway) sounds lie 'Nockton' and the BBC broadcaster James Naughtie is not naughty at all but 'Nockty'.

Thriftcriminal said...

Ah shite, really sorry to hear about those stains mucking you about. My eyebrows remain unraised BTW. As for nuaghty soap starspeople, how about Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashers, hilarious. Have some wine, swear a lot and get a truck full of diesel and fertiliser. Just kidding.

Baino said...

Nick: I've never heard of that although I'm au fait with gazumping. The thing that really shits me is that we are not wealthy people, this is a legacy property that my father had the good sense to buy and in which I invested some equity 20 years ago after my husband died. We are not greedy land owners we just want to go our own way and now, rather than a sale we have a solicitor's bill! I'm so angry that they waited until this late stage after making 2 offers prior. That's multi-national developers for you. Now don't be PC about Erin . .she's not!

No Rev what's with the Merv Hughes obsession?. . .I was tempted to use some of his euphamisms when I received the call but my solicitor isn't the target of my wrath. Instead of "you can't fuckin' bowl and I can't fuckn bat' maybe I should go 'you can't fuckn buy and I won't fuckn' sell'.
There I feel a little better now. Amen and apologies for the 'lip'

You lot and your names! . .I work with an Irishman whose surname is Cahill . .Nobody knows how to pronounce it.

Thanks Thrifty. The problem I'm a sheep in wolf's clothing. As executor of the estate, it all falls on me. The boys are bloody hopeless. Full of advice but no idea. Thanks for the explosive tip . . (gotta love the Irish) If they weren't based in Singapore I'd have a go! Got something smaller than poo that I can put in a letter?

Hope the hangover's over!

Melissa said...

I agree with Anon -- thanks for the morning giggle, Baino! :) I really hope things go up for you -- I'm sorry you've been having a hard time and I'm sending a hug across the miles. Don't those tears feel great? Fun songs you've been posting!

katesaid said...

Disappointment bites. I know that the smart, self-protective thing is to avoid getting one's hopes up in the first place... but I've never figured out how to do that.

Thriftcriminal said...

Singapore? Send them chewing gum and get them arrested! Hangover all gone thankfully. Really it is the messed up sleep that gets me. I'm going to blame the rest on the chinese food :-) oh and Cahill: Ka-hill

Grannymar said...

Try smashing a few plates, it works a treat.

ian said...

Merv was part of a great tradition - Dennis Lillee, Rod Marsh, Jeff Thompson - blokes you didn't mess with. You wouldn't tell them you had changed your mind.

Oz has gone soft since the days of Kylie and Jason.

Terence McDanger said...

Allow me! It's pronounced Ka-hill, sorta like cattle only with a h in the middle instead of the tt.

You Aussies made a bags of it when we exported it and now we have to listen to soccer pundits referring to Tim Kay-hill.

Gets my goat it does.

Beehhhhh.

See? That was my goat being got...

Baino said...

Melissa: I'm nothing if not resiliant. The Estate Agent's signs go up tomorrow. Tears gone for another six months and yep, feel like I've had a non invasive 'purge'!

Kate: It's a bit like when you first get pregnant and tell everyone only to miscarry in the first six weeks. Next time, mouth shut until we've exchanged!

Thrifty: you're an evil genius!
car-hill . . it's that simple? So obvious.

Ian: Must be in for a summer of cricket over there? Dennis Lillee drank red cordial from my cup at a One Dayer years ago . .

Terrence: That's prolly what confused us. We just call him 'himself' it's easier! You're right about Tim Cahill, we say 'kay-hill'. I always thought it was spelled differently. Sorry to hear your goat's got. Better than my horse bolting!

Quickroute said...

WOW Baino - I go away for a few days and all this happens! - Sorry you´re going thru such a rough time - Punching bags are a good way to channel the bad negative energy and of course a beer/wine to numb the senses - love the Miss World slogan!

Kath Lockett said...

Aw Baino, that's so crappy and unfair - you have a total right to wallow for a while and amuse yourself by deciding on all kinds of revenge...

How about reciting my own personal mantra - as often and as fast as you can:
Poo-Bum-Bugger-Shit-Fart
Poo-Bum-Bugger-Shit-Fart
Poo-Bum-Bugger-Shit-Fart

...and, like me, hope like hell that this Karma thing works. Hang in there - this is when wine and chocolate really come into their own.

Jonah K. Haslap said...

Further proof that America was the real loser in the Revolutionary War!