Something for a Rainy Day

We're having our wettest April ever highest recorded rainfall for 15 years ago. No wonder all the little animules are sheltering in Ark Fairway . . Two very soggy horses will need rubbing down and winter woollies are being trawled out of the bottom drawer. My loungeroom resembles a Chinese laundry. Speaking of Chinese - the Torch was weilded through our sterile capital, Canberra, without incident thanks to sport being a religion in this country and I'm off for a delightful drive in the pissing rain -the things I do to be sociable. So, here's something I prepared for a 'rainy day' some time ago . . .and never has it been more appropriate!

Since I work for a Financial Planning company, insurance is also part of our service offering.

Mind you our clients tend to insure their lives, key people in their businesses rather than their limbs or appendages. I was reading in Money Management and surprisingly there was an article about the speculation that JayLo insured her bottom for $1 billion. While there’s no evidence to confirm that her backside is in fact worth that much there are other better documented items that are well insured. Apparently, it becan in the 1920’s when Ben Turpin, famed for his crossed eyes, insured himself against ‘uncrossing’. Yo-yo champion Harvey Lowe insured his hands for $150,000 in 1935. Then Betty Grable invented the million dollar legs by insuring hers for that handsome sum.

Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatly insured his pins for 25 million pounds and model Heidi Klum, and Tina Turna followed suit. Even Merve Hughes insured his characteristic moustache for 200,000 pounds.

Rod Stuart’s scratchy warbl is ensured for $6mil as is Bruce Springstein (never fancied either as golden garglers but there you are) Naturally Becks legs are insured for a different reason and we allknow what Dolly Parton had ‘covered’ metaphorically speaking.

Those who are worried about unexpected trips to outer space can buy alien-abduction insurance. The policy would provide $10 million to cover medical and psychiatric care, not to mention sarcasm from friends and relatives, and $20 million if the aliens insist on conjugal visits.

Marilyn Monroe may have been the first star to be insured against drug use, says Moraga. No fewer than three movie studios purchased policies to protect against losses if the star's drug use interfered with filming schedules. Robert Downey Jr, took advantage of this precedent and insured against ‘similar’ difficulties.

Food critic and gourmet, Egon Ronay bought a $400,000 insurance policy on his taste buds. The chief taster for Dreyer's Grand Ice Cream also insured his his tasting ability, in the amount of $1 million.

Lloyd's offers an insurance policy that will pay between $40,000 and $760,000 to cover the costs of temps and recruiting new employees if more than two workers quit within 14 days of winning more than $150,000 in the U.K. national lottery.

Lloyd's underwriters, while they will insure almost any risk, don't take reckless business risks themselves. For example, the policy for the 20-year-old merchant navy officer who sailed the English Channel in a bathtub was issued only on one condition: The bathtub plug had to remain in place the entire trip.

Me? Don’t ask . .I’m well covered . . . I’m insured for life, trauma, income protection, terminal illness, Medical and Hospital, Home and Contents, third party accident and third party property fire and theft!

So that’s where my pay goes!