Friday, April 04, 2008

LOLDOG

It's Friday, yeay! Weekend is here and plans afoot for stuff. So something silly to take you into the weekend:

How can there be self-help “groups”?

Why do people ask "Can I ask you a question?" when quite obviously they just did!

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take it for a ride in the car it sticks it's head out the window? ?

Do penguins have knees?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How many holes could there be be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

How did a fool and his money get together?

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

Why do we keep returning to the fridge in the hope that something inspiring to eat will have materialised?

Why isn't phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If corn oil is made from corn, and peanut oil is made from peanuts, what is baby oil made from?

Why do peanut butter jars claim "may contain traces of peanuts or nuts"?

If athiests go to court, do they have to swear on the Bible?

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?

Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

Why is it when you're sleeping it's called drool, but if you're awake, it's called spit!

Why do medicines such as sleeping pills have warnings "May cause drowsiness?"

And last but not least . . how come a dog will eat its own poo but won't swallow an antibiotic!
OK I borrowed them all except the last one . . . palatable antibiotics obviously aren't - and I thought dogs had no taste buds given the stuff they'll eat!




14 comments:

Nick said...

He he. If atheists swear on the bible in court, does that mean the oath is automatically negated because they don't believe in God? (I've done that myself a couple of times on jury service)

And obviously baby oil is made from crushed babies, didn't you know that??

Brianf said...

Why is it that we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Grannymar said...

How did a fool and his money get together?

Ask Bertie!

katesaid said...

How come onomatopoeia doesn't sound like what it means?

Thriftcriminal said...

Hmmm, when our hound did that it had a dodgey pancreas.

steph said...

*sigh* So enjoyed that!

Baino, I've always wanted to know...
why do we yawn when we see someone else yawning?

And it even happens when you see a dog yawn - I swear!

Baino said...

Well thanks you lot! Now I have even more to ponder over the weekend! Have a good one!

Thriftcriminal said...

Ooooh, the yawning thing works with horses too.

Quickroute said...

If you can ponder the meaning of life and let me know in the next post i'd greatly appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

Why do I keep returning to the fridge in the hope that something inspiring to eat will have materialised ON A DAILY BASIS? About the swearing on a bible - you don't actually have to. Last time I was in court I had a choice between the bible and something else, but can't remember what it was but I signed it. Have a good weekend!

Baino said...

Thrifty: Really? Just got back from my two (manicure day) all I got was seriously snotted!

Quicky: For goodness sake, we all know the meaning of life it's 42

Anony: Ah the fridge thing, I'm wondering how to be inspired by a bunch of dill and some spring onions! Maybe they'll materialise into Lobster Thermidore. I've looked twice so far . . no luck.

I've managed to dodge court other than my JP swearing in. As a single parent of kids under 18 I've always been exempt from jury duty despite being called up six times. No excuse next time tho.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that Brianf uses 50's terms?

Brianf said...

Why are there handicapped parking spaces at roller rinks and why is there braille on drive up ATM machines?

Baino said...

Anonymous: I think it's more American terms. I'm not familiar with Parkway either.

Brianf: Ywou bin reading the same sites as moi?